Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 35
  1. #1
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:24 AM
    Posts
    62,415

    CSI:TD - get on this case if you can

    I was going to put this in world news, but it's just so bizarre and I can't see the serious comments lasting long.....

    Dead Brit found at Malaga Airport had 'slice of ham on each buttock' and 'genitals in tuna can'. Steven Allford, 51, was found with his hands and feet bound with plastic ties on Friday, 21 October.

    William Watkinson By William Watkinson
    October 23, 2016 10:28 BST

    Police in Spain are investigating after a British citizen was found dead at a Spanish airport with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in an open tuna can, say reports.

    Police have named the man found dead in strange circumstances as Steven Allford, a 51-year-old British national who also had his hands and feet bound by plastic ties and his trousers pulled down.

    Allford's body was discovered by a security guard on a bench at Malaga Airport in an area popular with homeless people between the airport's train station and the terminal building.

    Investigators are working to determine if the strategic placing of food on his body was a message sent by criminals or a practical joke by those that discovered the body on Friday, 21 October.

    Detectives are awaiting the results of a postmortem but believe he may have been asphyxiated due to choking or throttling. Reports say that clothes found nearby have been taken away for analysis and documents found on a trolley at the airport identified the man.

    A Spanish source said to The Sun: "The state in which the body was found had triggered an investigation and we are attempting to find out more about the circumstances. His trousers had been pulled down suggesting a sexual assault or rape may have been attempted after his hands were bound.

    "We still have no idea whether he was a tourist who missed a flight or an ex-pat living locally. We have no idea what he was doing there. Foul play is suspected and it is being taken very seriously."

    Spanish media reported that the body showed no visible signs of violence with a postmortem examination due to be carried out at Málaga's Institute of Medicine.

    According to The Mirror, which reported the grim circumstances around the man's death, the area was cordoned off by police after the discovery while officers examine CCTV and try to determine if Allford had missed a flight leaving the airport.

    A Foreign Office spokesperson could not confirm the identity of the victim or where he was from in the UK. She said: "We are in contact with local authorities following reports of the death of a British man in Spain."

    Dead Brit found with ham his buttocks and 'genitals in tuna can'

  2. #2
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    12-10-2019 @ 11:14 AM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668

  3. #3
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:24 AM
    Posts
    62,415
    Yeah you didn't get the ham and tuna did you?

    Rubbish link.


  4. #4
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    15,837
    It's clear he is the victim of two other men.
    They were trying to make a club sandwich.

  5. #5
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    12-10-2019 @ 11:14 AM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668
    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Yeah you didn't get the ham and tuna did you?

    Rubbish link.
    e's not wrong.

    I'm overwhelmed with your linkage

    Are you in the sausage trade?

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
    Troy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Last Online
    Today @ 02:24 AM
    Location
    In the EU
    Posts
    7,847
    I wonder who he was caught having an affair with...

    The butchers daughter?
    The fishmongers daughter?

    Some pig with a halibut pie?

    Intriguing stuff...

  7. #7
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    12-10-2019 @ 11:14 AM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668
    Well I failed on October abstinence just poured a large glass of red
    As I smell the gravy and the roast coming out of the oven I wish you bon appetit all and condolences for the family of this sad case to end in such a way far from home.

    Any of you Englishmen got a recipe for Yorkshire puds, some swear by a big round pie first , others small bun size ones served with the main course.
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  8. #8
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:24 AM
    Posts
    62,415
    Surely this is a bizarre publicity stunt for the next episode of "Bones".

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
    Gazza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Wat Thafookhisit near to Wat Chamakhorlit
    Posts
    2,306
    Obviously someone doesn't quite grasp what a spit roast is.


  10. #10
    Molecular Mixup
    blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Last Online
    09-06-2019 @ 01:29 AM
    Location
    54°N
    Posts
    11,353
    no Doubt a photo fit of the killer will look like this


  11. #11
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Behind a rhododendron bush
    Posts
    18,000
    Spanish surf and turf weekend with the lads went wrong.

  12. #12
    disconnected SKkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    39.2014 N, 85.9214 W
    Posts
    7,000
    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Dead Brit found at Malaga Airport had 'slice of ham on each buttock' and 'genitals in tuna can'.
    bloke was a pig with fishy smelling junk...

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
    Dragonfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Last Online
    Today @ 04:53 AM
    Posts
    12,790
    there must be some message for someone, probably an inside joke for the killers

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
    can123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Last Online
    19-11-2019 @ 12:23 AM
    Posts
    5,416
    We need to see the videos.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
    wasabi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Last Online
    28-10-2019 @ 03:54 AM
    Location
    England
    Posts
    10,958
    With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat
    can123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Last Online
    19-11-2019 @ 12:23 AM
    Posts
    5,416
    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.
    Not necessarily, there was a Chinese contortionist on the Royal Variety performance who could easily have choked herself after placing slices of ham on her buttocks. Obviously, she would not have been able to put her genitals in a tin of tuna as she did not have the sort of genitals which would suit. Nevertheless, these things are possible. I could not have done these things as I am a fat bastard and I don't like tuna.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Last Online
    28-11-2019 @ 11:41 PM
    Location
    I'm Dead
    Posts
    4,583
    Can are you still in the valleys.

    Never sold the mansion then.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
    can123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Last Online
    19-11-2019 @ 12:23 AM
    Posts
    5,416
    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Can are you still in the valleys.

    Never sold the mansion then.
    My estate is still for sale.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.
    Maybe not. Could be a weird sex game gone wrong....

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
    Troy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Last Online
    Today @ 02:24 AM
    Location
    In the EU
    Posts
    7,847
    Latest report is that he suffocated on his own vomit and had drunk copious amounts of alcohol. Sorry linking not possible from my phone...The Independent

    BTW...tuna in Spanish could mean the fruit...prickly pear...sick joke after the event?

  21. #21
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 08:46 AM
    Location
    Heidleberg
    Posts
    21,794
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    a weird sex game
    only weird to you willy - the fish and pig poke has been happening for a while - all the cool kids do it

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Last Online
    21-11-2019 @ 08:54 AM
    Posts
    36,453
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    Maybe not. Could be a weird sex game gone wrong....
    Not that weird when you think of some of the shit that goes on...

    I think he just slipped and fell while having dinner at the Airport Restaurant...

  23. #23
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 10:53 PM
    Location
    Reality.
    Posts
    28,694
    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post


    Police in Spain are investigating after a British citizen was found dead at a Spanish airport with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in an open tuna can, say reports. Steven Allford, 51, was found with his hands and feet bound with plastic ties.
    Obviously suicide.
    Or a bucks night gone wrong.

  24. #24
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    12-10-2019 @ 11:14 AM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668
    Quote Originally Posted by Cujo
    a slice of ham on each buttock
    or cold pizza for hire?

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
    khmen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Last Online
    12-08-2019 @ 07:55 AM
    Location
    Discombobulated
    Posts
    2,462
    Maybe it was some form of stag-do prank - y'know, get your mate mortally drunk, tie him up, put his knob in a tin of tuna and leave him to miss his flight...only he didn't wake up...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •