Thread: Dodgy Local Pubs

My old man used to talk about a pub in the 70s where you'd walk to the bar, order a pint and pick your window- because you'd be going through one later in the night anyway.

I used to go in loads of dodgy locals in England where you could get pissed and do your shopping at the same time. One morning I woke up with a turkey that I'd bought from the smackheads who would come in selling Tesco's Finest (I don't even like turkey and I couldn't fit the fat fucker in the oven the next day).

Obviously, this retail operatiomn wasn't an official franchise the lads had going - certainly, Tesco were unaware of it - but I'm sure Thatcher would admire such entrepreneurial skills.

Then there were the characters and their stories. Too many to mention but one memorable story was about the lad who had shagged a ropey bird with a false leg in a Blackpool B&B and hung her false leg up on the clothes hook so that his mates, who were watching the room from outside, could see he'd done the deed and he'd win the 50 quid bet!

And the sad stories too: people leaving the bar...and not coming back.

Pubs are the greatest window to the world that our society has.

Some have no windows...

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Some have no windows...

And they're often the best ones!

I've never been to Australia, but I've heard there are some pubs over there whose walls could tell a story or two.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

I've never been to Australia, but I've heard there are some pubs over there whose walls could tell a story or two.

I was in the Railway Hotel in Cairns having an afternoon beer. There was no trouble and all was quiet when, for whatever reason, the barman told this Abbo to get out. The Abbo agreed to go once he'd finished his beer. So for about 10 minutes nothing more is said. Then the Abbo got off his stool to walk out. For no apparent reason he smacked this white guy in the side of the head knocking him onto the floor. The Abbo just calmly walked out the door. As for the white guy, he was picked up and sat back on his stool and he just carried on drinking.

^^^In outback Oz at places like Kunannara, Halls Creek, Oodnadatta, Marree, etc, a lot of pubs would have a coon bar with no front door, chicken wire for windows, seats and tables bolted to the bare concrete floor that could be hosed out, and they'd serve booze in plastic cups through a small cage window.

Not sure if it's still like that, but would be highly surprised if they've evolved enough to not still be necessary today.

the bottom pub in Cooktown is always good for an interesting day/night out.

Originally Posted by Headworx

Not sure if it's still like that

Still much the same, mate. Well certainly in the NT.

Pubs are closing very fast around here, only a few survivors keep their doors open. People are not drinking any more, it's easier and cheaper to stay at home, great company on the Internet forums and no fights , or taxi fare home.
Don't go into boarded up windows pubs, that's for sodomites.

Originally Posted by wasabi

People are not drinking any more, it's easier and cheaper to stay at home, great company on the Internet forums and no fights , or taxi fare home.
Don't go into boarded up windows pubs, that's for sodomites.

= boring as fuck geeks.

I got my House painted by a Pensioner from the Local in Darwin, highly recoended by a Old friend, any way the problem was the Mold in the Gyprock was a tad Black.

prick never cleaned it and all His efforts peeled off!

The Company who got the job to repair it and do the job properly....... just so happend this Old Coddger lives in the back yard of the Owner in a Demountable

Darwins a small place lol!

Originally Posted by mingmong

Darwins a small place lol!

Bloody oath it is.

Originally Posted by mingmong

I got my House painted by a Pensioner from the Local in Darwin

Which local?

Originally Posted by klong toey

I was drinking and ordering shopping in the early 2000,Hen And Chickens Sheffield ,lots of dodgy pubs in the city just depended if you wanted shopping or some fight training really.Horse And Coaches was a good fight venue always blood on the pavement outside.Oh and a dodgy club in the town we live in when we are in Blighty just got closed down.
Seaford Trek club's neighbours 'hid in bathrooms' - BBC News

A veritable smorgasbord is available in your standard UK boozer, not least your Yates's places.

"You got any razor blades?"

"Nah mate, but I've got a clock from Burger King. Straight off the wall."

"How much?"

"A fiver."

"Done."

Originally Posted by david44

Originally Posted by Headworx

^^^In outback Oz at places like Kunannara, Halls Creek, Oodnadatta, Marree, etc, a lot of pubs would have a coon bar with no front door, chicken wire for windows, seats and tables bolted to the bare concrete floor that could be hosed out, and they'd serve booze in plastic cups through a small cage window.

Not sure if it's still like that, but would be highly surprised if they've evolved enough to not still be necessary today.

Seemed to be virtual apartheid in rural QLD 20 yrs ago, not so much now.
The Dorrigo Hotel on Hickory Street , Dorrigo NSW at the crossroads where there was a urinal under the bar, It was explained it was from the days of the Swill

For many years hard working thirsty miners and stockmen were only allowed an hours drinking 5-6pm thereabouts.Rapidly tie the horse and rush to the bar.

So they'd line up 6 beers and to save time going out for a piss would do it at the bar.

Any wonder wikiLEAKS started by an Australian

I used to tell people that was what it was for as well.
Not many fell for it though.

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Some have no windows...

The Mighty Fine in Portsmouth, UK. No windows, rough place.

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Some have no windows...

The Mighty Fine in Portsmouth, UK. No windows, rough place.

I've heard there are even local pubs in the UK where you can spend your days and nights off your nut on Charlie and the bar never stops apart from shift changes.

Second hand info, of course.

i was lucky enough to be mixed up in a few pubs with the family In western Australia and one in the NT by myself.must admit I have seen my fare share of dodgy transactions going on.we had a tavern in a place called Eneabba,were there was 1000 single guys and 1000 married guys all working on the mineral sands mine.fights every night including all in brawls,$50 a game on the pool table,if you couldn't afford the 50 you were told to fuk off,some of the single boys would go sniffing around the married quarters for a bit of pussy,and so that made the ladies dart's night a huge success,the boys would be thrashing it out in the car park and the ladies would be having a big cat fight inside.never a dull moment.

^ Brilliant.

Used to be a rough pub round our way in the 80's. The "Black Bull" used to get a very mixed crowd, especially when a 'women's refuge' (Tempura House; a haven for lightly-battered wives) opened nearby.
This was around the time of "Care in the Community" in the UK as well, so fresh batches of colourful characters always ensured an entertaining night out in there.
Some of the most brutal fights I've ever seen, and mostly involving women..

Just remembered the Jamaican shebeens we used to go in in Soho when we were in London. You know it's gonna be tasty when the bouncers give you a warning before you actually go in.

The Criterion Otahuhu.
One night when someone got badly hurt, someone called an ambulance. When the ambos walked in, they were thrown through the window. "Don't try and repair what I did".