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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap vs the car insurance people

    They are currently winning.

    But I'm fighting back, dammit!



    Hi there,



    If you don't want to be subjected to several hundred words worth of frothing tirade I suggest you skip to the penultimate line.



    After 30 minutes of being sent around the houses by various member of your staff, I have eventually ended up in a cul-de-sac and decided that communicating with the company by phone is no longer an option, or indeed possible.



    Therefore - an email!



    I have the telematics device and do not know where to fit it in my Citreon Berlingo. I have tried both creating an account and logging in to Direct Plus and was met with "you cannot do this" or something equally infuriating on both occasions.



    I managed to get in touch with a chap from Direct Plus who asked to speak to my wife as the policy is in her name - her English isn't particularly good and she was unable to understand him. He said that he could not accept the information that she gave him because some of it was wrong and he heard "whispering" in the background. Whispering?! I was shouting the f**king answers out! Anyway, I thought control of the policy had been given to me - this was something that had been arranged when we initially made the payment. The payment - incidentally, had to be made in one lump sum due to a prior error on your behalf.



    All that aside though - how the do I plug this fucking device in?



    Yours sincerely

    Slap

  2. #2
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    pseudolus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I have the telematics device and do not know where to fit it in my Citreon Berlingo. I have tried both creating an account and logging in to Direct Plus and was met with "you cannot do this" or something equally infuriating on both occasions.
    Be prepared to be inundated now with exceptionally accurate spamming adverts from now on. Everywhere you go, they know, and how long you are there, and this information is sold to the marketeers. Best not take the berlingo to the knocking shop!

  3. #3
    Southern Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    Best not take the berlingo to the knocking shop!
    He'll have one of those fold up bikes in the boot

    If I was working at this insurance Company and noticed said Norverner getting all irate over plugging a box into a cigar lighter socket, without even starting the engine, I'd be ticking the number 9 on the Road Rage Potential box on my screen, just before exclaiming 'We've got one here Maureen"

  4. #4
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    Right all round to Slaps place to have a go on this. Fuck, this is nothing but a challenge to flat line to top three.



    but it says "for under 21's". Did you tell them you were 20, slap?

  5. #5
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    As for where to fit it

    Google

    obd citroen berlingo 2014 (or the year of your berlingo).

    You will see lots of pictures of where the slot in. Usually in the glove compartment.






  6. #6
    Southern Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    On tDirect Line's website

    DrivePlus FAQs

    Before calling or emailing us, please take a look through our most frequently asked questions about DrivePlus telematics insurance, DrivePlus Plug-in, DrivePlus App and DrivePlus Portal.
    Just click on a question to drop down to the answer.
    So click on.....

    Where will the device be fitted (location on car)?
    The DrivePlus Plug-in is fitted on to the On-board Diagnostics socket (OBD). To find the location of the OBD socket in your car, please visit the DrivePlus Portal on www.mydriveplus.com
    When you click that link you have to log in Slapper, you fik Norvern Monkey

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    Be prepared to be inundated now with exceptionally accurate spamming adverts from now on.
    But it saves me about 400 notes and I don't even use the poxy thing. Have no intention to either. Trains and bicycles are the way the great slap operates.


    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    When you click that link you have to log in Slapper, you fik Norvern Monkey
    That was the problem - I could not log in or create a fuxing account. And yes, I could just stick the device in the motor but would it work without logging in to it. Anyway, it's in their hands now. I've had enough of this insurance bollocks - from top to bastard bottom - to last me a life time.

    Cars are the scourge of the planet. I hate them more than I hate cats. They are well and truly on the list. As are most of their fucking drivers - the lazy fat-asred impatient cunts.

    Gosh - I'm all a fluster.

  8. #8
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    Did you download the App to your wifes phone yet? Or better still, yours, so youo know where she is all the time?

  9. #9
    splendid and tremendous
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    Got the app - can't log in. IT IS BOLLOCKS.

  10. #10
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    stick the tracking device into the car then.

    then have a go.

  11. #11
    Southern Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Do a John Cleese on her car, you'll feel much better

  12. #12
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  13. #13
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    Suckers.
    Continue to give into the systems that exist for the base of repression.


    Free. Independent. Self-sufficient.
    Are you?

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