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  1. #26
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Without my glasses I thought someone had got their fist clenched arm stuck in the window



    BTW, what are the showers like? Or is it just bucket & tipover style?

  2. #27
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    Bogon tip #405

    If drunk on a train in Thailand and fancy a ciggie, go between carriages and puff to your hearts content.

    If very drunk and stumble and fall off the train whilst between carrriages, don't panic! You should have enough time to have a quick nap, shit in the bushes, do the Bangkok Post crossword and write a postcard to mother before the last carriage passes you.

    Them trains are damn slow.

    Left Hualampong at 10pm one night many moons ago. Drank 4 large award winners and thought it would be a good time to peek between the curtains to check out a bit of Siam wildlife. I was kinda taken aback when all I got was an eyeful of Don Muang airport! This was 2 hours in to the journey, and we were still in the Metropolis!

    Thank Mary and Joseph that they still had the disco cart going on in those days.
    Black diamonds? I shit 'em.

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon
    If very drunk and stumble and fall off the train whilst between carrriages, don't panic! You should have enough time to have a quick nap, shit in the bushes, do the Bangkok Post crossword and write a postcard to mother before the last carriage passes you.

  4. #29
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    Looks like one dodgy place to sleep there Pat.

    Hellboy has lost his arm trying to reach you and Batman released 2 of his lethal death stars to take you out, but he seems to have missed and hit the top and lower portion of the windows..

    By the looks of it. You challenged them to a pillow fight!

    For those that do not know Hellboy...




  5. #30
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Luckily some UK trains still have the slide down windows on the doors and can lean out.
    Once I was leaning out and the ticket woman caught me, and told me off. Then a few minutes later she did an announcement, ''no smoking and that means hanging out of windows as well''

    My argument was that I wasn't actually in the train

    She then told me jokingly that I risked decapitation by another train

  6. #31
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon View Post


    Looks like one dodgy place to sleep there Pat.


    Those mattresses must get a bit sticky at night, wonder what the aircon was like, I only used 2nd class dorm beds, it was freezing in there at least

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker
    Yes, I'm definately a decadent fooker, I did take a wander down the rest of the train just to see if I was missing out on anything , but No , it was just a bunch of gap year koonts wearing elephant pants with funny haircuts . They didn't even have enough nouse to hit the 7 /11 to stock up on the award winners before the train took off and looked thoroughly bored. Daft koonts. My stash of bevvys in my little compartment lasted me until about midnight, I quite like drinking alone sometimes, I could of used a few more because I was entertaining myself quite nicely and grinning like a large dog by then. But sadly the supply was deleted and I conked out on the scratcher, had a bloody good sleep .quite relaxing that clickity clack of the train and the swaying motion. There's a lot to be said for train travel.
    I appreciate the regaling of this little tale BLD. I'm quite sure TD is due a train travel forum.

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dapper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon
    If very drunk and stumble and fall off the train whilst between carrriages, don't panic! You should have enough time to have a quick nap, shit in the bushes, do the Bangkok Post crossword and write a postcard to mother before the last carriage passes you.
    Good , dapper.

    First class forum posting, Bogey.

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    Luckily some UK trains still have the slide down windows on the doors and can lean out.
    Pray tell in which county do these hallowed carriages exist, Patrick?

    The south-west, southern and great western services are like very expensive mobile prisons.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Pray tell in which county do these hallowed carriages exist
    Wales

    You burning the candle at both ends sleeping at work Slap?

  11. #36
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    Luckily some UK trains still have the slide down windows on the doors and can lean out.
    Pray tell in which county do these hallowed carriages exist, Patrick?

    The south-west, southern and great western services are like very expensive mobile prisons.
    The GWR out of Paddington. Goes to Wales or Cornwall
    Great Western are still using those 40 yr old Inter city 125 trains, to be replaced within 2yrs they say.

    I think they are the UK's last remaining 125's in use



    Shockingly, the sleeper trains are still pulled by these grandads



    The sleeper trains do have a bar & dining car, which is great for insomniacs.
    Prices are the same as the regular trains, including use of showers upon arrival at Paddington. To stretch the journey into a 8hr decent nights sleep as the trains parks at Plymouth for 4hrs



    I think the Caledonian Sleeper from Kings cross to Inverness also has a bar, but trains are a bit more modern

    Last edited by DJ Pat; 03-04-2016 at 07:18 AM.

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Without my glasses I thought someone had got their fist clenched arm stuck in the window



    BTW, what are the showers like? Or is it just bucket & tipover style?
    Quite flash actualy pat,



    Decent shitter to

  13. #38
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    The backpackers were down here

  14. #39
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    From BLD’s pictures it looks like the quality of the rolling stock has improved over the years but the onboard service has deteriorated.

    A mate of mine and I did a trip from Bangkok to Nakhon Sri Thammarat in the First Class sleeper sometime in the 70s. The cabins were wooden and the engine was still steam.

    I was a bit apprehensive about the trip before it started. The other bloke was a heavy drinker and the night before had included an incident where he had his revolver jammed into the mouth of a German in a bar in Patpong. He drank through the next day and turned up at the station carrying a golf bag filled with pump action shot guns and an M16. The reason for this is another story and I had known it was going to happen, but also included in his traveling kit was a bottle of Bundaberg OP rum. Anyone who is familiar with this beverage will know that firearms and Bundy should not be allowed on the same train. It would be like carrying caps and det cord in your trouser pocket.

    The trip went fairly well. The conductor assigned to our carriage was more than happy to keep trotting backwards and forwards to the dining car to get us cold beer, in response to generous tipping and Mekhong for himself. As the party started to crack on, my mate decided it was time for female company. I didn’t know how this could be accomplished on the train but was quite happy to go along with it. The conductor was assigned to facilitate this latest request and I was surprised to hear him say “I try”. Off he went with me following in case any questions arose regarding QC. His tactic was to approach every unaccompanied female passenger he found in 3rd Class, tap her on the shoulder and present her with the opportunity to partake in a mutually advantageous business plan.

    What cheek! Nobody seemed particularly upset with his advances however and, mostly, just politely told him to piss off.

    The train arrived about 17 hours late which was considered as pretty much on time. There seemed to be a problem predicting how long the stops for water and coal would take.

    Anyway, full marks to the efforts, attitude and hospitality of SRT staff.

  15. #40
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker View Post
    The backpackers were down here
    I could imagine them stretched out on the wooden 3rd class benches, not in this palace

    Although I will say, one advantage of Thai 2nd class sleepers is that the beds are paralell to the tracks rather than across, reducing bumps, and increasing the chances of nodding off


    These look fun



    Luckily this is an Indian train

  16. #41
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    2nd class A/C, bottom bunk: job's a good 'un.

    I've done 1st class a few times, but as the ride is so bumpy and noisy wherever you are I don't think it's worth the extra unless you want your own space.

    Some lovely runs in Thailand on the various routes, but the sooner they bring beer back in the buffet car, the better. As far as journeys go, there are few things that beat chugging through the Thai countryside with an ale in hand.

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah
    As far as journeys go, there are few things that beat chugging through the Thai countryside with an ale in hand.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah
    Some lovely runs in Thailand on the various routes, but the sooner they bring beer back in the buffet car, the better. As far as journeys go, there are few things that beat chugging through the Thai countryside with an ale in hand.
    You'd need to be pretty fukkin pissed and have the same Geography grade aand patriotic instinct as your average dung beetle chewing Somchai if you think any Thai train trip is up there with Jap's Bullet train or The Orient, Glacier or Trans Siberian Expresses.


  19. #44
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    I was traveling on the 24th of December and really just wanted to get home after 2 weeks stuck in Bangkok, I was told the train was totally booked but if I wanted to pay for the first class berth to myself then it would be 1500 baht or something like that, absolute bargain I reckon, there was a lady conductor (MILF)who occasionally stuck her head in to see if I needed anything, she saw that I was sorted with the stash of award winners from the 7/11 and didn't bat an eyelid, I don't look like a nutter? And was behaving myself , glad she never caught me pissing in the sink though, but in my defense the toilet was down the other end of the carriage and the Windows don't open.Love going by train

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah
    Some lovely runs in Thailand on the various routes, but the sooner they bring beer back in the buffet car, the better. As far as journeys go, there are few things that beat chugging through the Thai countryside with an ale in hand.
    You'd need to be pretty fukkin pissed and have the same Geography grade aand patriotic instinct as your average dung beetle chewing Somchai if you think any Thai train trip is up there with Jap's Bullet train or The Orient, Glacier or Trans Siberian Expresses.

    Being fully pissed and shagging the milf conductor would of made it even more memorable though dill. Not quite the same standard as the afore mentioned trains though

  21. #46
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    How come you all got new rolling stock and engines.?

  22. #47
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker View Post
    glad she never caught me pissing in the sink though, but in my defense the toilet was down the other end of the carriage and the Windows don't open.Love going by train

    I've pissed in many sinks in my time, and I doubt you're the only one.
    There's something rebellious and satisfying as you stand there cock in hand (sometimes on tiptoes) as you direct your yellow second hand beer down the plughole, knowing it'll go the same route as the toilet anyway, which by this time is a marathon away.

    Pissing while using one hand to hold the door closed is an art in itself, giving you that vital millisecond to do up yout flies should somchai accidently burst into the wrong cabin.

    Makes roughing it on these trip worthwhile, in a romantic way

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah
    Some lovely runs in Thailand on the various routes, but the sooner they bring beer back in the buffet car, the better. As far as journeys go, there are few things that beat chugging through the Thai countryside with an ale in hand.
    You'd need to be pretty fukkin pissed and have the same Geography grade aand patriotic instinct as your average dung beetle chewing Somchai if you think any Thai train trip is up there with Jap's Bullet train or The Orient, Glacier or Trans Siberian Expresses.

    Fair point, but what all of those journeys have in common is that there's a fair chance it will be fucking freezing when you arrive at your destination AND the last one involves having Russians as your travel companions.

    If you had Olga and Olev next to you for a week, you'd probably be dreaming about Jit and Kalasin too.

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