Thread: Winter in Little Whinging - the photo album

Little Whinging is a sleepy little settlement in South-East England. It's the kind of place in which everybody knows everybody else's business, down to the finest detail. It was only yesterday morning that old Dorothy Hinkleford suggested I used cream E45 in order to eradicate the nasty little rash I have downstairs. I mean, how did she know about that? No one knows about that. And last week while I was picking up the turkey and giblets from Wilfred the local butcher, he asked me if I was planning on yet another year of ball-crippling masturbation - and, get this, would I be interested in attending regular Xhamster evenings in the village hall. I ask you! I said yes of course, but I ask you!

Without any further ado, winter in Little Whinging, the photo album...

We, the good people of Little Whinging, are duty bound to preserve the area's reptiles. Any person or persons found to be piloting their vehicles without due care and attention will be dragged by the bollocks (which will be tied to the chassis of a 1950s Daimler) into the next parish.



Downtown Little Whinging. This is the hedonistic hub of some extremely well-attended knitting circles, no less than seven antique shops, and an omnipresent chorus of robust gossip.



The main thoroughfare to Little Whinging. This murky lane has claimed many a outsider... Remember, you can check out of Little Whinging any time you like, but, quite tragically, you can never leave...



The entrance to the Foggins's farmstead. It is rumoured that Frederick, the seven fingered farmer, leaves this pile of logs at the entrance to his fields as a warning. Legend has it that each log denotes a victim who he apparently bludgeoned to death with a large, steroid-reared marrow. No one really visits the Foggins's anymore.



The village cricket square lays fallow. But come spring the dulcet tones of willow, oak and rustling packets of dried fruit permeate the air.




A Little Whinging backstreet. This is where the hoodlums hang out. Foul language, blasphemy, and unnecessarily loud coughing have all been heard here.

I loved it but the Banstead and Bedstead Bi-monthly Bugle reported.

"2/10 Grate effort, thank god your illiterate but we liked the drawings you have an almost photogenic touch have ever been a pro toucher up in Crayonlee?" Karen D'Ache.

If you ever need a hand/job call our premium rate hotline

If you like check out gals Saino's Banstead has some plump birds oddly not plucked for Christmas, Sainos Swallington is Hal-Al and katoey only since pork poker re-elected

Originally Posted by somtamslap

I'm yet to wet my feet in that world of wanton debauchery.

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Follow the Dogging code

Dogging is a fun experience but there are rules of Dogging that everyone needs to follow.

1. Make sure you are clean

A dirty appearance and smell is a turn-off, so if you plan on joining in with a couple, make yourself presentable

2. Condoms

If you've used condoms then make sure that you dispose of them in a bin and not just throw them out of your car.

3. Flash those lights

If you want another couple to follow you to a more secluded spot then flash your headlights once and drive to where you want to be. If they are interested then they will follow. If you want your audience to touch and interact with you then roll down your window or open the car doors.

4. Interior lights

A flash of the interior light means they want to be watched. A rolled down window is an invitation to get closer and maybe touch. But make sure the couple is actually dogging; they may have just dropped the keys on the floorboard or need fresh air.

5. Keep your distance till invited.

Don't join in unless the couple asks you to.

6. Single guys beware

Be appreciative but respectful. "Get your tits out" is not the way to behave.

7. Know where you're going

Use the Let's Go Dogging database to find the action but remember that sometimes the fun doesn't start on time and there ain't nothing pretty bout Doggerz lane.