That's actually quite funny.Originally Posted by Seekingasylum
Aussie customs act like they're doing you a huge favour by allowing you into their country.
Oh, and you're not allowed to disagree with anything they say, otherwise you'll be branded 'aggressive' and they call the cops
It should be common sense not to bring any exotic foodstuffs into any country but those Chinks take the piss. Birds nests, dried snakes, all sorts of shit.
Landed in Oz once and got pulled for a standard check, they found a blade of grass on a golf shoe, fuck me what a pantomime .
Are the Krims Kustoms Kunts worse than TSA?
Either way I couldn't be arsed to go to either shitehole country.
My son had a key chain with an inert .45 round confiscated here at the Manila airport.
We proceed through security to the departure lounge and at the first food/drink booth, there was a rack of identical key chains for sale.
2 Bottles of Red at CNX Airport, still had 2 to go Home with, then Brother in Law from Bkk turn up for the New Year and has 2 Reds from His Customs Mate at Swampy!
a slight up grade on the 4 Clean skins I brought over!
I think i may have mentioned this before but i had a gold pen knife in my hand luggage at Swampy on route to Yangon. The guy took it from my bag, i explained its heritage, he gave me his mobile number and said to call him on my return. I did, he sure enough came out of his office and returned the knife to me. I tipped him 2000bht. I was very impressed and pleased.
^ I had a leatherman in my carry on one time - I made it to the second bag check
the woman said to take it to the post office down near E/F and post it to myself
70 baht and it was back at home in a day or 2
If you torture data for enough time , you can get it to say what you want.
What annoyed me last time was having small cartons of baby milk confiscated, one customs officer asked me to open one a drink some. Still took the rest
At the Olympic games in Atlanta I went to see some boxing shortly after the bombing occured. They had just instituted new security procedures and they took my small Swiss Army pocket knife after I emptied the contents of my pockets. Never got it back.
The last time I flew domestically I got this through security (completely accidentally- I had forgotten it was clipped to my belt)- I 'beeped' coming through the detector, was frisked and scanned again with the handheld, and they let me on the plane (where I only realized it was there after I sat down)- they'll make sure you dump a $100 bottle of booze though...
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
HST
Those fucking things always pick me up. Every single time regardless of what I'm wearing/carrying.Originally Posted by FailSafe
I think it's profiling.
Several things have been confiscated from me, bottled water, a pairing knife, things like that here or there.
The silliest thing that airline security wouldn't let me fly with was a tiny pair of eyebrow scissors in my cosmetic bag.
Once when checking in in Japan, the agent found my luggage overweight and asked me to take some things out to hand carry. I had a new set of flatware in my luggage so quickly decided to hand carry that since it was so heavy. Shortly thereafter, when I reached security, they confiscated my flatware set. Was a bad day.
A bottle of mint sauce and a jar of roses lime marmalade at swampy
BASTARDS!
An automatic knife I purchased in Amsterdam and some porn I purchased at LA. Tame by today's standards but in those days even pubic hair in the likes of Penthouse was banned. Fck NZ customs. Oh, and just about forgot had my house raided once by cops looking for a book on how to make a machine gun. That was an illegal import back in the day before the internet. Used to look up to the US in those days as land of the uncensored free but not any more.
Last edited by Munted; 09-12-2015 at 02:13 PM.
A couple of very nice forks (they left me with the spoons). It happened here in Oz, and after making a mildly sarcastic comment about "forks of death", I showed them how easy it is to kill someone with a biro....like the ones everyone was still carrying on board.
A Leatherman at Swampy, and a small powerbank for my mobile in China. Kunts.
Cunning idea kmart but these customs can be smart cookies at spotting anything fishy!
I snuck one through by stashing it flat against the side of my suitcase so the tennis racquet shape was cunningly concealed from the xray scanner. Kind of took the shine of my satisfaction when they were legalised a year later
Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon
I should have added that about 2 months later I got a large A4 pack in the post.
It contained 50 x 4 x A4 pages documenting each and every individual lighter.
fuck knows how much time and energy was wasted.
What on earth were you going to do with them ? Sell em at the markets ?
No. I was renting rooms in a large house owned by 2 elderly alcoholic lunatic women who both smoked like chimneys and constantly stole each and every lighter their beady eyes alight upon.Originally Posted by Latindancer
Every few weeks they/we would get pissed round the pool and I'd empty their huge handbags proving my point.
So, bring in 50 and I might actually get the use of 'em for a week or three.
As it turned out I didn't.
Harridans.
Two Marlborough boxes of rolled joints crossing the Afghan/Pakistan border by train into Pakistan. Delayed the train awhile then took my crossing partner off the train, let me stay on the train and let the train go. I had only known my crossing partner since the last town so I cunted my lucky stars (or my friend, whichever way you want to think of it), and continued on to Karachi.
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