Show us yer toes - WARNING GRAPHIC

[Mendip]

Graphic pictures for sensitive types follow. I feel that I have given fair warning.






I'm normally a mild-mannered and tolerant person but I'm afraid that this morning my feet have been insulted one time too many.

I've reached my limit.

Personally I think there should be a forum rule that you're not allowed to criticise and insult another member's feet unless you're willing to show yours. I think this will silence a few.

Here are my feet... maybe not perfect or the most aesthetically pleasing of feet but these are a working man's feet and have kept me in business for 54 years now.



They say that every toe tells a story. I have selected three stories for you.

This is my left big toe. Last August I got an infection under the nail of this toe after cleaning out my fish pond and a doctor at Th Bangkok Hospital in Kora gouged off the nail with a scalpel. The interesting thing about this you is that you can see exactly how far the nail has grown back in five months. I reckon in another two months I'll have a full-length nail and it'll be as good as new.

Another story about this toe... you can see the fresh wound right on the tip? Well, a couple of minutes before taking the pic I stubbed it on my piece of fossilised tree trunk in the sala as I rushed to try and save a pigeon from Yogi. It bloody hurts and the pigeon is sadly dead and Yogi ran off somewhere to eat it.



And this is my right big toe.

Last August I also got an infection under the nail of this toe after cleaning out the fish pond. This toe became infected a few days after my left big toe and there was no time to get the nail removed before I flew off to work offshore for a few months. As it was I had to wear these silly plastic slipper things for the flight as my nail-less left big toe was too painful to wear shoes, even after a week.

I doused the toe every day in Betadine and miraculously the nail stayed on, but only just. The nail now seems to have gone black but there's no pain and I think it'll soon grow back to normal, although the dogs do give it a sniff now and again.



And finally this is the toe neighbouring my right big toe. If it was the hand it'd be called the index finger, so maybe this is my right index toe?

The interesting thing about this toe is that you can see a brown stain across the top quarter? Well, last July all of my toes became soaked in Chaindrite and wood stain as I built my pond jetty and became stained a dark brown colour. You can see from this toe exactly how far the nail has grown in six months. I reckon in another month the stained part will have grown out and I can clip it away, thus giving me back a perfect toe. It seems that my toe nails take seven months to completely grow, regardless of size.



Hopefully this will silence all the toe critics unless of course all of you perfectly toed people are brave enough to 'Show us yer toes!'

[AntRobertson]

Jeeeezus... Well I can't say that I wasn't warned!

[Stumpy]

Thank God I don't eat bfast.

[baldrick]

and as a warning , my feet are porn stars compared to mendips womble paws - if you find yourself getting engorged while viewing , please report to Nev the school nurse so she is able to administer a sharp whack to the offending PeePee with a cold spoon

[ootai]

Since this seems to be a show and tell thread I can tell you I ain't showing mine as I would not even come close to matching that horror show.
My god Mendip have you no shame?
Surely a guy who sports a Rolex can afford a pedicure just once maybe?
If you do go to have a pedicure ask them first if they have an angle grinder their gonna need one to cut those back to clean metal.

After careful consideration and just to help Stumpy enjoy his lunch I thought I would add a picture of my right "big toe" which suffered from Mendip's pond disease.
In my case unlike him my toenail did come off but before it did there was time for another nail to grow underneath but as you can see it was not a long term thing and the new permanent nail is slowly making its way to the end.
One day I hope to have a complete nail to show everyone.

[Mendip]

^ It's a bit crooked?

Your new phone takes a good picture, by the way!

And thanks for contributing Baldrick. Nice, but your feet do nothing for me.

[Bonecollector]

When you walk down a mountain with loose shoes

[Bonecollector]

Well at least nothing has fallen off yet Mendip. I would consider, with all your pond hiking, this a win at this stage!

[AntRobertson]

My toes are a bit munted but some y'all need to visit a podiatrist!!

[ootai]

My toes are a bit munted but some y'all need to visit a podiatrist!!

I reckon you're the one who should be called "Stumpy"
How do you stay upright with those little fukkers to balance you

[AntRobertson]

I reckon you're the one who should be called "Stumpy"
How do you stay upright with those little fukkers to balance you

[Mendip]

^^^^ You seem to have my 'black toenail' problem as well, Bonecollector?

I reckon you're the one who should be called "Stumpy"
How do you stay upright with those little fukkers to balance you

Let's not get toeist Ootai... this is an all-inclusive thread.

[Bonecollector]

^^^^ You seem to have my 'black toenail' problem as well, Bonecollector?




Let's not get toeist Ootai... this is an all-inclusive thread.

Yea Doi Luang is responsible for that. I forgot to tighten my shoes on the way down and I guess this is what happens, that was over a month ago now.

[Stumpy]

Joining in the Friday fun.....



Pic from a few days back after some laps in the pool

[Mendip]

^ Ummm... this is supposed to be for member's toes, not their wife's!

[Backspin]

I used to have those yellow toe nails too. Someone told me about a cure that works. Seriously. I did it. Go to the local veterinarian supply store. Buy a bag of tetracycline powder. (tell them its for your chickens) Dump a few teaspoons of powder into a small container. Mix it into a paste. Paint the paste onto your toes. Let the shit soak on your toes for a few hours. Hell, you can just put socks on and get on with the day. Do it a couple times.

After I did it, new clear nails started growing in. And the yellow shit was eventually gone.

[baldrick]

Not for human use - so you did not go against the advice

[Stumpy]

^ Ummm... this is supposed to be for member's toes, not their wife's!

Hahaha. Some of us have normal feet and not tore up mangy Neanderthal feet.

[Mendip]

I used to have those yellow toe nails too. Someone told me about a cure that works. Seriously. I did it. Go to the local veterinarian supply store.

Yeah, I thought Stumpy's nails looked a bit yellow as well.

Get yerself down to the vet Stump and sort it out!

[Stumpy]

Yeah, I thought Stumpy's nails looked a bit yellow as well.

Get yerself down to the vet Stump and sort it out!

I'm on it. Think I will get under nail injections to have them yanked to start over.

[Bogon]

Bloody hell Mendip, ootai and Bonecollector. Looks like you are the hobbits that walked to Mordor!

[Stumpy]

Bloody hell Mendip, ootai and Bonecollector. Looks like you are the hobbits that walked to Mordor!

...

Hobbits.

[Edmond]

[Edmond]

My toes are a bit munted but some y'all need to visit a podiatrist!!

You selling the TV and playstation before flouncing back to Australia by any chance?

[Stumpy]

I am waiting for Reg Dingle to show up in this thread... Should be a full on stand up comedy act..........