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  1. #1
    Utopian Expat
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    Millions of closet Tories to come out in UK’s first ...

    Millions of closet Tories to come out in UK’s first Greed Pride march



    Selfish bastards from across the U.K who have consigned the rest of the UK to a five-year shit storm, have decided to come out of the closet in an unprecedented show of public pride.

    Tired of the refrain “But I’ve never actually met a Tory,” those who too ashamed to share their voting intentions with even the opinion pollsters will march in central London to state publicly just how mean-spirited they are.

    “My dream is that one day declaring to friends or colleagues ‘I don’t care about poor people’ will be just as socially acceptable as ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a woman’ has become,” said 35-year-old marketing manager Darren Casey, one of Greed Pride’s founders.

    Previously anonymous Tories spoke of the relief of finding others willing to go public about voting preferences deemed degenerate by right-thinking members of society.

    “Even since I was about 16 years old I’ve known I was a Tory but I’ve just not felt able to admit it,” said one Greed Pride marcher.

    “There’s such a stigma attached to it.”

    “I’ve always had to bite my tongue when lefty friends say something like, ‘children in poor areas should be educated’, or ‘disabled people aren’t all feckless spongers’.”

    Greed Pride

    For others, the appeal of Greed Pride is more visceral than intellectual.

    “I got the horn when Julian Clary said he’d been fisting Norman Lamont all those years ago,” drooled Tory voter Chaz Borthwick.

    “But there was no way I could admit it. Thanks to the breakthrough of Greed Pride, millions of us can now get off on George Osborne shafting the entire nation,” he added.

  2. #2
    I am in Jail

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    nearly had me there.

  3. #3
    I am in Jail

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    ^^ Good Stuff. I thought it was for real too.

    The ability to take the piss out of ourselves. That's what i love about England

  4. #4
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pompeysbroke
    The ability to take the piss out of ourselves. That's what i love about England
    It is indeed one of the few redeeming features of Brits. Healthy and admirable quality

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    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    Millions of closet Tories to come out in UK’s first Greed Pride march
    Headline and story worthy of The Onion. Nice one

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Millions of closet Tories to come out in UK’s first Greed Pride march


    Never saw that one coming...how wrong can the pollsters be??? In times of great uncertainty, people will lean towards something that seldom changes (selfish) conservatism. Cameron will have to move swiftly or face the curse of John Major from euroskeptics. Can't say i blame them...time to tell Greece to fark off once and for all.

    He's apparently unleashing his attack dog on the Beeb. An institution i happen to have great affection for...i just couldnt live without the World Service every night
    It's a boon to insomniacs everywhere and it was hands down the best news source i could find in America. We obviously didn't have the license nazis showing up on our doorstep but i did contribute voluntarily to WNYC (NPR) every year when pledge time came around. And Yes - I'm a namby-pamby vegetarian liberal do-gooder. Deal with it mofo.

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