Thread: The simple enjoyment of playing with Thais.

Bill, 619b.

I give 1,020b.

There’s a few seconds of thought, trying to figure out the complex act of dealing with people and numbers, before I’m given the 20b note back. While they stand there not sure of what is going on.

How much is it?
619 baht.
Do you want the 20 baht note?
No, 1000 baht is enough.
Oh excuse me, I can’t count.

A few more seconds of trying to figure out what is happening before walking away in a daze, then returning with the change and a pitying smile one may give a special-needs child.


Bought some new playdough a few days ago, the kid loved it so as I was passing the shop today I went in to buy some more. Just bought the whole box full of packets (their entire stock) so we could make something monstrously big. The lady, a bit surprised at me picking up the box of their entire stock and taking it to the counter asked what I do with it.

Oh, I eat it.

A few seconds of disbelief.

You can’t eat it. With a good handwave to emphasize how incorrect this is.

Feigned disbelief at her comment. ‘You can... It’s delicious…. I eat it for dinner’. with a proud headnod.

The rest of our transaction, which totaled about 30 seconds, passed in an orb of silence during which she held an expression that wouldn’t be out of place if you woke up and the sky was red and your loved ones were flying through the air with freshly sprouted wings.


It is fun interacting with everyday Thais.

^Heh...You're a bad man, Luigi...

Originally Posted by Luigi

Oh, I eat it.

A few seconds of disbelief.

You can’t eat it. With a good handwave to emphasize how incorrect this is.

Feigned disbelief at her comment. ‘You can... It’s delicious…. I eat it for dinner’. with a proud headnod.

The rest of our transaction, which totaled about 30 seconds, passed in an orb of silence during which she held an expression that wouldn’t be out of place if you woke up and the sky was red and your loved ones were flying through the air with freshly sprouted wings.


It is fun interacting with everyday Thais.

Brilliant , and fitting in with the movie I'm watching. I found Monty python and the Holy Grail on the cable movies and that just fits right in.

The situation with Thais making change continually amazes me. You would hope that a cashier would be able to grasp the concept of a customer trying to arrange things so they get fewer small bills or coins as change back. My experience has been that more often than not, they just don't get it. Many times I have given coins in addition to bills so I can get rid of some of the change, and guess what, I get more small coins back as change than what I gave to the cashier. They'll give me the correct amount usually, just not in a denomination that was hoped for.

It is fun to watch their reaction, which is usually a look of confusion that says "hunh, why is he giving me all this when the four 100 baht bills are more than enough?" Fortunately, in stores that actually have electronic cash registers, the cashier can key in the amount given by the customer and the machine does the math for them. That still doesn't guarantee that you won't get a hand full of small bills and coins back, when larger denominations could be given.

Simple 20 baht note = tip.
Five 20 baht notes = bigger tip.

Originally Posted by Luigi

You can’t eat it.

I thought you could eat play dough.

Isn't it made of wheat or something?

Originally Posted by Looper

Originally Posted by Luigi

You can’t eat it.

I thought you could eat play dough.

You can.

I eat it for dinner.

I make it easy for them...I had a rather large taxi bill on the meter when I arrived at my destination...Let's say 315 baht...

I wanted some smaller bills, so I held out 15 baht in coins and a 500 baht note and simply told him to give me two 100-baht notes...He didn't really see the amount in my hand, but simply listened to the "instructions" from an obviously clever and trustworthy man like myself...And he was a tough hombre, too...

When he gave me the two bills, I gave him one back with thanks and bid him a good day...

I knew he didn't really want to take me where I was going and that was part of the reason for the large tip...He also drove fairly well, which I commented on...

Everyone was happy...

Moral: Make it clear what you want to do...Give them the "instructions," and get what you want...

It's not just Thais who have no heads for change...It's pretty much anyone running a till, in any country...Luckily, the machine can usually add and subtract, provided the correct data are entered...Heh...

Your mileage may vary...

(Piss off, pompous)...

Moral: Make it clear what you want to do...Give them the "instructions," and get what you want...

That was in a shop. It's more fun to see if they work out what's happening rather than explaining to them, as you may need to do to a semi-retarded child.

Sometimes they can work it out, sometime it's just too much for them, unfortunately.

told him to give me two 100-baht notes.

When he gave me the two bills, I gave him one back with thanks and bid him a good day...

Good for you.

You good man. Good heart. Not bad like Thai man.

Originally Posted by Luigi

It's more fun to see if they work out what's happening rather than explaining to them

True...

Originally Posted by Luigi

You good man. Good heart. Not bad like Thai man.

That's exactly what he said before he pulled out his machete...(Brian Williams was with me)...

Were you in that fooking cab, too?...Heh...

Mind, if you've ever played cards for money with a group of Thais, the opposite is true...

Fooking hell, they'll have one hand finished and the money still wafting in the air with calculations flying in the breeze while the next hand is being dealt...

No way I could keep up...And I'm a Rhodes scholar, too...

Actually, it's even more amusing to verbally foil with them.

Use [and twist] the flowery metaphors and idiomatic language to your advantage.

I think we have all been here: you hold the door open for the Thai coming up behind and they simply walk past with nary a look in your direction to acknowledge the courtesy. Or, more likely, you are the one trailing behind a Thai and they let the door close in your face.

In either event, I loudly express a huge "thank you" and give them my bestest smile. The look of confusion and fretful uncertainty is quite entertaining as they go through that modest, little rolodex of a brain desperately trying to compute what it is they have, or should have, done.

A very rude and stupid people.

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Mind, if you've ever played cards for money with a group of Thais, the opposite is true...

Fooking hell, they'll have one hand finished and the money still wafting in the air with calculations flying in the breeze while the next hand is being dealt...

No way I could keep up...And I'm a Rhodes scholar, too...

Like some guys with dart's scores in a pub?

^Not a bad analogy, actually...And I'm very good with figures, as well...(Small tits are okay)...

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Mind, if you've ever played cards for money with a group of Thais, the opposite is true...

Fooking hell, they'll have one hand finished and the money still wafting in the air with calculations flying in the breeze while the next hand is being dealt...

No way I could keep up...And I'm a Rhodes scholar, too...

Like some guys with dart's scores in a pub?

Billy Connolly does a great skit on that.

Home works looking at 12 bathrrom mirrors, 'assistant' looking on. After some discussion about which is best we pick one out- no have is the immediate response, (why not tell us then?) We will have this one then, our 2nd choice- no have. OK which ones out of the 12 have you got then- er have that one. Well guess what we will have that one then, takes the twat 10 minutes to find even that. Home pro is a bit better, there you get two twats 'helping' you. Of course when you get anything to the till it's often a higher price than on the shelf anyway.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly94

Home works looking at 12 bathrrom mirrors, 'assistant' looking on. After some discussion about which is best we pick one out- no have is the immediate response, (why not tell us then?) We will have this one then, our 2nd choice- no have. OK which ones out of the 12 have you got then- er have that one. Well guess what we will have that one then, takes the twat 10 minutes to find even that. Home pro is a bit better, there you get two twats 'helping' you. Of course when you get anything to the till it's often a higher price than on the shelf anyway.

Just a tip.

The staff at places like that, and especially Tesco and Big C, aren't actually employed by the store.

They are employed by the companies with products there, but wear the store uniform. Sneaky, eh.

Which is why when you are interested in a product, they will often tell you it out of stock or 'No good, this one better' even if it's cheaper. All while wearing the store uniform.

Store doesn't have to pay wages and makes sales, companies sell their products, lying little shit gets commission. You leave thinking that they're all stupid without knowing that you've just been outwitted and had.


When it comes to sneaky lying and deceiving, they're World Class. It's what all their braincells are tuned into. That and trying to reach them with their index finger nail.

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

^Heh...You're a bad man, Luigi...

Yes he is.

Math & Geography are in dire straights within the Thai mind.

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

^Heh...You're a bad man, Luigi...

Yes he is.

Math & Geography are in dire straights within the Thai mind.

Yet, there is a disconcerting connective tissue that they secure in a manner that we cannot figure out nor place value on.

Originally Posted by Luigi

Originally Posted by Dragonfly94

Home works looking at 12 bathrrom mirrors, 'assistant' looking on. After some discussion about which is best we pick one out- no have is the immediate response, (why not tell us then?) We will have this one then, our 2nd choice- no have. OK which ones out of the 12 have you got then- er have that one. Well guess what we will have that one then, takes the twat 10 minutes to find even that. Home pro is a bit better, there you get two twats 'helping' you. Of course when you get anything to the till it's often a higher price than on the shelf anyway.

Just a tip.

The staff at places like that, and especially Tesco and Big C, aren't actually employed by the store.

They are employed by the companies with products there, but wear the store uniform. Sneaky, eh.

Which is why when you are interested in a product, they will often tell you it out of stock or 'No good, this one better' even if it's cheaper. All while wearing the store uniform.

Store doesn't have to pay wages and makes sales, companies sell their products, lying little shit gets commission. You leave thinking that they're all stupid without knowing that you've just been outwitted and had.


When it comes to sneaky lying and deceiving, they're World Class. It's what all their braincells are tuned into. That and trying to reach them with their index finger nail.

So the girls working on the Tills are really working for CASIO then

^They are all spies for the NCPO......

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

...

I wanted some smaller bills, so I held out 15 baht in coins and a 500 baht note and simply told him to give me two 100-baht notes...He didn't really see the amount in my hand, but simply listened to the "instructions" from an obviously clever and trustworthy man like myself...And he was a tough hombre, too...

When he gave me the two bills, I gave him one back with thanks and bid him a good day...

You would have gotten some smaller bills if you'd simply done the obvious thing and handed over a 500.

But being a farang you had to make it difficult for yourself...