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Thread: Gran Canaria

  1. #1
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    Gran Canaria

    Has anyone been to this Island?

    I've randomly booked a flight tomorrow, come back Friday. Got 4 days off work

    My plan is to snake around Scandinavian girls on holiday at the hotel pool and in the nightclubs.
    If my plans fail i hope to find hookers to bring back to my hotel room.




    Another thing.. coming back to Manchester will be my maiden voyage with RYAN AIR!!

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    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    Yeah, plenty of Scandi girls at hotel pools and nightclubs. Hookers in GC, too. Look for the signs (Spanish). Enjoy.

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    Puerto Rico is full of Brits.

    If you wan't the Skandis head to playa de las ingles and Masplomas.

    Mate was there last week and the temp was 28oC.

    Check out the sand dunes in Masplomas, it looks like the sahara desert.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Puerto Rico is full of Brits.

    If you wan't the Skandis head to playa de las ingles and Masplomas.

    Mate was there last week and the temp was 28oC.

    Check out the sand dunes in Masplomas, it looks like the sahara desert.

    I booked apartment bungalow room in playa de las ingles close to the nightlife


    Will the Swedish girls go crazy for an English gentleman like myself with my accent?

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    Thailand Expat Boon Mee's Avatar
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    Two good golf courses down at Maspalomas last time I was there.

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    We bunkered there back in the day. Don't remember much so it must have been a good time!

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    Thailand Expat KEVIN2008's Avatar
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    Playa De Ingles, full of drunken Brits and Paddies....Maspalomas or Meloneras quieter and more upmarket....

  8. #8
    How Dare You!!
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    I went there 25 years ago.

    Bought my first ever fake watch.

    Hired a mountain bike to explore the island for a week while my fellow 18+ holidaymakers went about their shagging business.

    Went for a walk round the town on my second last night.

    Met a female 18+ from Nottingham also walking alone through the town and on her very last night and we went drinking together for an evening.

    The only girl I have ever shagged in my life without ever finding out her name.

    She had a Brazilian landing strip which was quite a novelty in those days.

    She woke early and was quietly leaving my room but stopped at the door and I opened my eyes and we looked at each other for a few seconds and then she stepped out and closed the door without a word.

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    you cruelly ruined her sneaky exit of shame, forcing her into a life of alcoholism, promiscuity, abuse and guilt.

    she has probably also been suffering from some kind of sexual dysfunction ever since, shame induced lubrication deficiency syndrome or something.

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    She matched me pint for pint for a whole evening pub crawl.

    Special offer in every bar was buy one get one free - ah young romance!

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    She must have made quite an impression for you to remember pubic hair seen while shitfaced a quarter of a century later lol

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    This was a major novelty in that day and age. I didn't even know it was called a Brazilian until years later.

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    [QUOTE=ShrewedPunter;2974408]
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Puerto Rico is full of Brits.

    If you wan't the Skandis head to playa de las ingles and Masplomas.

    Mate was there last week and the temp was 28oC.

    Check out the sand dunes in Masplomas, it looks like the sahara desert.

    I booked apartment bungalow room in playa de las ingles close to the nightlife


    Will the Swedish girls go crazy for an English gentleman like myself with my accent?
    Not really...but you can always find a "British Butty served here" kinda place...I shouldn't take the piss. It wouldn't be my cup of tea but each to his own. There's somebody on this board who raves about Madeira as a cool place to live (or vacation). It's on the "Cheapest place to live" thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KEVIN2008 View Post
    Playa De Ingles, full of drunken Brits and Paddies....Maspalomas or Meloneras quieter and more upmarket....
    Mas cervesa surely???

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    I'm flying there with Thomas Cook.. I'm nervous about sitting next to chavvy people

    I my plan is to leave it to the very last minute and check in at the desk, i'll enquire about the busyness of the plane, if it's not too bad I'll offer to pay the 15 if she can move me where i don't have to sit next to anyone

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter
    I'm flying there with Thomas Cook
    Fooking old bloke, innit?...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    I'm flying there with Thomas Cook.. I'm nervous about sitting next to chavvy people
    How wonderfully ironic. Just as you wrote that, loads of chavs were on another forum talking about their upcoming trip to Gran Canaria, and saying how they desperately hoped they didn't end up sitting next to a whore monger.

    Good luck. I genuinely hope all the mongers and chavs out their get the seating arrangement they desire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueBlood View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    I'm flying there with Thomas Cook.. I'm nervous about sitting next to chavvy people
    How wonderfully ironic. Just as you wrote that, loads of chavs were on another forum talking about their upcoming trip to Gran Canaria, and saying how they desperately hoped they didn't end up sitting next to a whore monger.

    Good luck. I genuinely hope all the mongers and chavs out their get the seating arrangement they desire.
    Somebody has maintained a web page devoted to the many quotations of the illustrious chairman of Ryanair. The best one was something to the effect that "Germans will crawl bollock naked over broken glass to get a cheap air fare"...No mention of sitting next to an English whoremonger...

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat KEVIN2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy Whackery View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BlueBlood View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    I'm flying there with Thomas Cook.. I'm nervous about sitting next to chavvy people
    How wonderfully ironic. Just as you wrote that, loads of chavs were on another forum talking about their upcoming trip to Gran Canaria, and saying how they desperately hoped they didn't end up sitting next to a whore monger.

    Good luck. I genuinely hope all the mongers and chavs out their get the seating arrangement they desire.
    Somebody has maintained a web page devoted to the many quotations of the illustrious chairman of Ryanair. The best one was something to the effect that "Germans will crawl bollock naked over broken glass to get a cheap air fare"...No mention of sitting next to an English whoremonger...


    "Children are a bit like farts, you can just about tolerate your own!" ...Michael 0 Leary.
    Last edited by KEVIN2008; 10-03-2015 at 05:34 AM.

  20. #20
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    Ryan Scare just about the worlds most expensive airline " via hidden charges "

    On your first trip ,, don't worry if the plane is making a very rapid approach to Manc airport and thumps down on the runway.

    This is normal behaviour if the plane is running a tad late as they play a bugle chorus when it lands on time .


    Playa de Ingles , you won't be disappointed at night if your looking for a bit of alternative ,, there is more poofs hanging around there than on TV .

    Gran Canaria just about the dullest of the Canaries I have been to .

    Don't get fooled by those dune pics in Maspalomas , your not allowed to wander all over them , they are roped off for the camel train paying clientele
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

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    ^Fooking hell...They rope off a desert?...

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    Quote Originally Posted by BaitongBoy
    ^Fooking hell...They rope off a desert?...
    Well the road that runs along side it where you could access it from is roped off

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Puerto Rico is full of Brits.

    If you wan't the Skandis head to playa de las ingles and Masplomas.

    Mate was there last week and the temp was 28oC.

    Check out the sand dunes in Masplomas, it looks like the sahara desert.

    I booked apartment bungalow room in playa de las ingles close to the nightlife


    Will the Swedish girls go crazy for an English gentleman like myself with my accent?
    Get yourself down to the Yumbo centre in Playa del ingles, loads of skandis there.
    You can not fail to pull

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post

    Get yourself down to the Yumbo centre in Playa del ingles, loads of skandis there.
    You can not fail to pull
    Your wire.

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