Why is British food so boring and crap?

**ShrewedPunter** · 03-02-2015, 01:05 PM

I went the pub at lunch time and had "Shepard's Pie"...

As i was eating it i was pondering in my head - why i had spent £15 to eat mince meat topped with mashed potatoes with a side of petit pois

If I had some nice beef mince.. I can think of a million and one things I’d to make with it..
Spaghetti bolognaise
Mexican Tacos
Burgers
Chili con carne
Lasagne!! (my fav)

What do us Brits do.. We stick it in a baking dish and top it mountain of mashed fucking potato.
Use lamb mince instead and call it cottage pie.
Use slices of potatoes instead and you have Lancashire hotpot
Corned beef hash – HAHHAHAHAHAHA Jesus wept.. I’ll leave you to google that one if you don’t already know what it is

Stick some sausages in a massive “Yorkshire pudding” and you got “toad in the hole”.. ROFL

I do enjoy a roast dinner and a fried breakfast. But that’s more do to with enjoying the taste of the individual ingredients. There’s no art of craft there.

Amazing to think people in much poorer parts of the world sit down every day at the family table and eat dinners that we might consider amazing & exotic, spending lots for at the local Asian restaurant.

If you don't agree with me..here's a pic of toad in the hole with the beans and mash to spice things up
Should get you all salivating

**Luigi** · 03-02-2015, 01:07 PM

Why is British food so boring and crap?

It reflects the people and society.

**pseudolus** · 03-02-2015, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

I went the pub at lunch time and had "Shepard's Pie"...

As i was eating it i was pondering in my head - why i had spend £15 to eat mince meat topped with mashed potatoes with a side of petit pois

because you chose it thats why. You chose the venue and the meal.

British food is very good indeed however in the same as most italian food in the world is shite made by fools who can not cook or do not care, so is the same with British food. Like every other cuisine, made by a proper chef it takes some beating.

**withnallstoke** · 03-02-2015, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

mince meat topped with mashed potatoes with a side of petit pois

You should have had sloppy peas instead of those Froggy petit pois.

**Bettyboo** · 03-02-2015, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

"Shepard's Pie"

Fuk me, I'd kill for a Shepard's Pie

Beautiful, that is... yum.

**Necron99** · 03-02-2015, 01:32 PM

It's not.
Roasts and pot stews can be and are (skill depending) wonderful meals.
As they say necessity is the mother of invention however.
European food is a product of it's environment, protein is easy to raise so meals tend to be protein (meat) heavy. The climate is conducive to have a large fire going for warmth, so spit roasts and slow stews are natural
The climate only allows one crop of a particular type per year, but is conducive to storing food (grain goes to flour or brewing, root veg into the cellar).
Because the food is easily stored veg and grain along with fresh protein the need to over spice food to combat bacteria and viruses was never encountered. Many herbs and spices have strong anti bacterial/fungal/viral properties, but in cold Europe they just weren't needed in abundance. A touch of thyme or sage and honey in your pork sausages would help them keep through the winter.

Asian tropics however have a climate where food spoils almost in front of your eyes, storing food other than by pickling or drying was problematic. But the climate allows for multiple crops per year and plenty of perennial plants that can be eaten.
Protein however is much harder to produce and meat in particular very hard to store. Without ice, a freshly killed pig is going rotten by the end of the market day. Insets too are much more active in the tropics. How do you eat contaminated pork safely? The climate is not conducive to large permanent fires so much of the food is flash cooked or quickly fried.
Cook it with shitloads of aromatic and spicy herbs that will kill off any germs. Lots of onions, garlic, cloves, chilli, pepper, lemon grass, ginger, all of which your climate gives you daily fresh access to.
Then there is India, same contamination problems, but why is their food so mega spiced, even compared to other Asian countries? Simple, the whole country smells like shit, there is shit everywhere waiting for an untouchable to come and pick up, hard to work up an appetite when you live in an open cesspit, so spice up the food to cover the smell.

**withnallstoke** · 03-02-2015, 01:36 PM

^ Explains why the krauts do sausages.

**ENT** · 03-02-2015, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

I went the pub at lunch time and had "Shepard's Pie"...

You deffo got done there, pro'lly Bulgarian cooks,...didn't know the difference between a shepherd's pie and a "shepard's" pie......

Did Shepard yelp when ya stuck the fork in?

Or did he complain when his pie was nicked?

I hear he was a pleasant chap, though.

**Lostandfound** · 03-02-2015, 01:50 PM

If you had Shepherds pie it was made with lamb, not beef. The clue is in the name.

**withnallstoke** · 03-02-2015, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by Lostandfound

If you had Shepherds pie it was made with lamb, not beef.

The beef pie is a cowherds pie - popular in France probably.

**somtamslap** · 03-02-2015, 01:58 PM

15 quid for a Shepherds Pie?

Last time I paid 15 pounds for something to eat it came with a side order of tits.

**withnallstoke** · 03-02-2015, 01:59 PM

^ Fish and tits?

**somtamslap** · 03-02-2015, 02:08 PM

^Botty and baps

**misskit** · 03-02-2015, 02:42 PM

Those horrible tinned beans. Still can't believe adults pour that mess on their food.

**VocalNeal** · 03-02-2015, 02:51 PM

Foods not only reflect the culture but also the weather. Mostly though it is the fuel available to cook. Why Chinese food is fast fried and the Irish make slow cooked stews.

Also mince meat is a mixture of dried fruits etc. Minced meat is what it says!

**pseudolus** · 03-02-2015, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Originally Posted by Lostandfound

If you had Shepherds pie it was made with lamb, not beef.

The beef pie is a cowherds pie - popular in France probably.

Its a cottage pie. Surely a cottager like you would know that!

**pseudolus** · 03-02-2015, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

mince meat

... dried fruits and beef suet and beef or game. Only in the modern era has the meat been taken out of mincemeat.

**November Rain** · 03-02-2015, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

If I had some nice beef mince.. I can think of a million and one things I’d to make with it.. Spaghetti bolognaise Mexican Tacos Burgers Chili con carne Lasagne!! (my fav)

How would you make your ragu sauce for the Bolognese? Authentic Italian recipe or jar of sauce from the supermarket? Tacos? Old El Paso spice mix from a packet? Those foods have become as British as Chicken Tikka Masala ie originally from elsewhere but bastardised and modified to British tastes

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

Corned beef hash – HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Originally from USA I believe

**cyrille** · 03-02-2015, 04:29 PM

Maybe not going to a place that serves boring, crap food and ordering a boring, crap dish might help with this one?

Just a thought, like...

**bsnub** · 03-02-2015, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by November Rain

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter
Corned beef hash – HAHHAHAHAHAHA
Originally from USA I believe

Nope but your beloved beans are an import from the US. I used to love pointing this fact out to Marmers. It always got his panties in a bunch.

He just could not accept the fact that such an essential component in his English breakfast originated in the US.

**Simon43** · 03-02-2015, 04:33 PM

15 quid?

Jeez, that's about .. er ... 750 baht.

For 750 baht I can have:

- Large plate of homemade pork gway dio = 50 baht
- 1 hour Thai massage= 300 baht
- 1 Happy Ending = 400 baht (they are cheap lasses at my massage shop, I get a discount for regular, short visits)

And still have enough energy for a free wank at home.

15 quid? - You were had.

**ltnt** · 03-02-2015, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by cyrille

Maybe not going to a place that serves Expensive, boring, crap food and ordering a equally expensive, boring, crap dish might help with this one?

Fixed that for you.

Originally Posted by Simon43

And still have enough energy for a free wank at home.

The previous massage and wank stays in room #4 of your hotel no doubt?

**Hans Mann** · 03-02-2015, 05:08 PM

Why is British food so boring and crap?

So everyone can complain about something other than the weather, yes.

**ltnt** · 03-02-2015, 05:16 PM

What's the pie you boys eat covered in lard? would you pay equally, 15 quid for blood pudding?

**Simon43** · 03-02-2015, 07:23 PM

[quyote]
The previous massage and wank stays in room #4 of your hotel no doubt?
[/quote]

I had to check that room but no - it's the local massage shop 'Chuckwow nuwat'

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