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Thread: French pants.

  1. #1
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    French pants.

    Being a hip and trendy person, and having run out of clean underwear, i decided to purchase some froggy designer underpants from their capital city.
    Underpant purchasing is a pastime i reckon only faggitz can enjoy - i felt very uncomfortable leering at plastic moulded cock and balls tucked away inside of highly priced cotton fabric.

    Anyroad up, after wandering around for ten minutes or so, i felt a decision needed to be made regarding pants before some sex starved hermer sexrual made lurid advances toward my buttocks, and so settled on three pairs of figure hugging pants and parted with 66 of their European notes.

    Later that same day i adorned my freshly showered and fragrant body with my new pants, covered them with ex army combat fatigues, slipped on a t shirt and headed for the nearest bar, confident that some lucky wench would have the privilege of unloading all my tackle from the new pants.


    Turns out they didn't need to.
    After about twenty minutes my bell end was protruding from the bottom of the left pant leg, causing me to continually try and tuck the fucker back inside the pant, which gave the appearance i was fiddling with myself, which in turn turned all the gagging for it wenches in the direction of less fiddlesome amours.

    French pants - like my arse.

  2. #2
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    66 Euros for three pairs of undies? That's over 50 quid! You could have bought 30 pairs of Marks & Spencer's finest gold leaf ball huggers for that.

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    This thread is nothing without pictures...

  4. #4
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    That's over 50 quid!
    I was inebriated on fermented apple juice, otherwise i would never have entertained the notion.



    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    This thread is nothing without pictures..
    That's just down right fucking rude, i mean, who would want to see pictures of my glistening glans penis, swollen with pumped blood and throbbing in time to my racey heartbeat, hanging out of the bottom of some foreign pant leg?

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    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post
    This thread is nothing without pictures...

  6. #6
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    Go commando ya poof!

  7. #7
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurgen
    Go commando ya poof!
    I normally do, but the testicles were reacting to the temperature by trying to reside in my abdomen. I did consider knitting a jewel jumper.


  8. #8
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    Trois paires de slips, svp. They call undies slips in French.

    Try to say that in Britain.

  9. #9
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    They call undies slips in French.
    Pats, in your experience, do Frenchmen have little willies?

  10. #10
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    You are indeed correct Mr Stoker. The French are pants.

  11. #11
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat View Post
    Trois paires de slips, svp. They call undies slips in French.

    Try to say that in Britain.
    Marks and Spencer sell men's slips.



    http://www.marksandspencer.com/l/men/underwear/slips

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    They call undies slips in French.
    Pats, in your experience, do Frenchmen have little willies?
    No, but they are rather less seal on penguin in the way they fuck.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Withers,

    You are supposed to put the potato in the front!

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    No, but they are rather less seal on penguin in the way they fuck.
    Way too much info Pats, but thanks anyway.

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    After considerable research and effort on my part, I am able to inform the op of the correct ingredients, preparation procedure and cooking temperature for the manufacture of Yorkshire puddings.
    This would appear to be of no use whatsoever in your present conundrum, but may come in handy tomorrow which is Sunday.
    Heart of Gold and a Knob of butter.

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    The important question has to be asked, Did they have a hole for the trumpet?

  17. #17
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    The sans culottes are revolting,how could you be shopping in a land of unshaven pussy ,cheesy aromas (thats not just the local) garlic flavoured cheroots and almost free wine.

    As for tackle control I belive the cure for ballroom dancing is un celice.

    to regret giving my dd a gay packed lunch? | Mumsnet Discussion
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  18. #18
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    After about twenty minutes my bell end was protruding from the bottom of the left pant leg,
    Next time try shopping in the adults section. Alternatively make sure the number in the label where it says, Pour enfants partir de X ans is greater than your shoe size.

    Glad I could help.

  19. #19
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    No, but they are rather less seal on penguin in the way they fuck.
    Way too much info Pats, but thanks anyway.
    On the contrary - I'm just getting warmed up. Please continue, Patricia.

  20. #20
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    They call undies slips in French.
    in malagasy they use the word slip also - many words of french in the language

    in oona look uny slip now - what colour are your panties

  21. #21
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    Why would you gag your tackle in the first place Wal? Diminishing returns for sure.
    Do they make "throw away's?" Improved diapers no doubt...

  22. #22
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    what colour are your panties
    Dirty bastard.
























    Black.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    what colour are your panties
    Dirty bastard.
























    Black.
    I think the poser wanted the pre-worn state rather than their present 'hue'

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
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    Hey withnall.

    Forget pants for a minute.

    I just ate Gertrude in curried form.


  25. #25
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    ^ Very similar to the contents of my pants.

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