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  1. #1
    Member Baas Babelaas's Avatar
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    Would you bother with a long-distance relationship?

    As I've recorded here I've been seeing a Thai girl for about three months - we've travelled a bit (Rayong, Samet, Amphuwa), I've slept at hers for a few nights. We've had some fun in the sack.

    She's educated, has her own place, has a non-BG job (a vet, actually). Earns a decent salary. Drives her own car (I still pay for hotels and meals 90% of the time though).

    Anyway I'm out of Thailand till mid-Jan on a work contract. Plans are to go back to Bangkok, and continue the relationship IRL.

    I've never been a fan of long distance relationships. What's the point of dating someone on the other side of a PC/phone?

    She's a nice enough girl - reasonably pretty, good health, smart. Downside - watches shitty Thai soap operas, plays Hay Day every fooking day, is a mummy's girl (mummy say "in bed by 9pm", she's in bed by 9pm. Although she only visits her mum once/twice a week in Nakhon Pathom.

    On an attraction level nothing about her makes me think 'WOW!' Just 'not bad'.

    She seems to like me enough, and we trust each other reasonably well.

    Me, I'm getting older. Tired of playing the field. Or getting played. This relationship seems stable, albeit a bit lacklustre in certain departments.

    Stay or go?

  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
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    If it's there when you get back, fine.
    I wouldn't pine over it though.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    3 months away isnt exactly a long term long distance relationship.

  4. #4
    I am in Jail
    Mr Earl's Avatar
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    She sure sounds like a keeper. The most important question: can she cook?

  5. #5
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    Work on it, she does sound like a keeper. But then again, doesn't sound like your're in love.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Earl View Post
    She sure sounds like a keeper. The most important question: can she cook?
    Or even more important, does the OP cares for the type of food that she cooks?


  7. #7
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    Then meme you need to hook up with a chef, such downright male chauvinistic shit. Do you cook? What can you cook? Makes my piss boil this stuff.

    She sounds like a good girl so what's the problem here?

  8. #8
    Member Baas Babelaas's Avatar
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    She can cook. I can cook.

    Giving it a second thought, a night or three apart/week can be a good thing (when she goes to her mum).

    Maybe I'm used to dating mildy crazy girls. Things seem to be going (too) well in this one.

    Thanks for the advice/words.
    Last edited by Baas Babelaas; 04-11-2014 at 06:43 PM.

  9. #9
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    Ok my two cents worth. She's a keeper and you need to act on that. Controlled by her mum/family but the bottom line is she is a good girl. Jumped into bed with you after a three month relationship. You need to train her some and you need to see to her needs too.

    Probably tells her mum all there is to tell. If you want a long term relationship then keep up the talk.

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
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    Yes definitely a keeper. The cooking question applies to consciousness and paying attention to details. Go with the flow.

  11. #11
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    It can be fun to get to know each other too. Get into her psyche some, what she likes. That is if you are serious. What's the age difference?

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
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    Financial stability is the only thing that matters for her.

    That's her love.

  13. #13
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    You've been burnt before?

  14. #14
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    Should I stay or should I go ? It's your life - take it slow.

    Why the heck would YOU care what this lot thinks ? (smile , it's a joke...maybe not).

    Just listen to your heart and your gut feeling. If you like her go with the flow.
    If you have doubts take it slower.

    She's a veterinarian...does she like animals ? ...do you ?
    Have you spent a couple of hours with her in her workplace setting ?
    ('Dear, I'm really interested in what you do. I like you. Could I spend some time seeing what your routine is so I know what to expect after you've had a hard day at work ? You are planning on continuing your work, aren't you ?')
    Usually six days a week and 10 -12 hours a day.
    Is the excitement going to be there a year or three from now ?

    Have you asked her specifically what her expectations of a relationship are ?
    What does she expect from you in six months , in a year ?
    Are you ready for children at your age or in the future ?
    You haven't made any real financial commitments, have you ?

  15. #15
    Member Baas Babelaas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fohk View Post
    It can be fun to get to know each other too. Get into her psyche some, what she likes. That is if you are serious. What's the age difference?
    Two years - she's 34. I'm 36.

    1. She's a veterinarian...does she like animals ? ...do you ?
    2. Have you spent a couple of hours with her in her workplace setting ?
    ('Dear, I'm really interested in what you do. I like you. Could I spend some time seeing what your routine is so I know what to expect after you've had a hard day at work ? You are planning on continuing your work, aren't you ?')
    Usually six days a week and 10 -12 hours a day.
    3. Is the excitement going to be there a year or three from now ?

    4. Have you asked her specifically what her expectations of a relationship are ?
    5. What does she expect from you in six months , in a year ?
    6. Are you ready for children at your age or in the future ?
    7. You haven't made any real financial commitments, have you ?
    1. We both do.
    2. She works in the swine industry, specifically slaughterhouses - don't think I'll be visiting. But my sister is a vet, and my other sister works in the wildlife (game park) industry. She works reasonable hours - some office hours, some slaughterhouse work, some seminars and training. LOTS of driving.
    3. Relationships are dynamic and ever changing - I'm keen on stability, as is she.
    4. Not specifically. My guess - to be a faithful, sober, loving, healthy boyfriend.
    5. The gradual movement towards marriage.
    6. Kids - good question. She does (but her clocking is ticking fast). Me - hmm, undecided.
    7. No.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat
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    More importantly, what's she like on the skin flute?

  17. #17
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    Your head is saying yes and your heart tells you clearly no.

    She is too boring for you.

    However, if you can comfortably remain faithful for 3 months without her, only then could she be a keeper. (But that would make you a pair of bores)

    She loves animals and works in a slaughterhouse? Beats me that one.

  18. #18
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    If you are of a mindset to try a stable relationship, then stick with it for a while. The way you describe your feelings, seems like you have been together for a very long time already. Comfortable like old slippers and just drifting into the next stage.
    The key seems to be what you both want. Happy to drift, or is she already picking out soft furnishings and nursery colour schemes?
    Kids can be a deal breaker. You either both commit fully, or withdraw now and give her body clock a chance with someone who does want kids.
    At 36 you will know if you are ready and willing to adapt. If you are not sure, use the break to determine how you do feel about the future with her and kids.
    Heart of Gold and a Knob of butter.

  19. #19
    Member DaveS's Avatar
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    Would you intent to stay in Thailand all the time, or would you want to return home to the land of braaivleis etc? She might not want to relocate. Could be worth a discussion.

  20. #20
    Member Baas Babelaas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveS View Post
    Would you intent to stay in Thailand all the time, or would you want to return home to the land of braaivleis etc? She might not want to relocate. Could be worth a discussion.
    SA's fooked. Not going back, bar family tragedy and/or any banking or legal paperwork that has to be done in person.

    She might want to visit though. But bugger living in a once-beautiful country now run by crims for crims.

    Asia's more or less where it's at for me, for the mid to long term.

  21. #21
    The Fool on the Hill bowie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baas Babelaas
    Stay or go?
    Stay.

  22. #22
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    Depends whats available in your home Country .

    You are a young man , with what sounds like a good paying job so you should have no problem in your home Country without all the travel .

    I on the other hand am a fat old bastard unable to pull anything other than a fat tattooed lardy , denture wearing , wilder beast of a thing in my own Country , so I came to Thailand and spent all that was left of my divorce money buying a much younger wife .

    ( Sorry forgot to add ) ^ overheard my ex at a bus stop .


    They do get a tad sour don't they ? the ex,s
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baas Babelaas
    albeit a bit lacklustre in certain departments.
    Heh...This reads like Dear Abby, or whatever...From the responses of our "women-wise" members, I mean...

    Your answer is in your own words above...

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelandjan
    overheard my ex at a bus stop .
    Was she stalking you or waiting for a bus Nigel?
    Either way it sounds like you got the better deal.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker
    More importantly, what's she like on the skin flute?
    Heh...Musical talents are appreciated...

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