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Thread: 50 pence piece

  1. #1
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    50 pence piece

    is it just me or is it an age thing?
    every time i go the loo to pee now, i have to shake my penis about 20 times , or guaranteed as soon as i place him back in my jockeys there will be leakage. Why is there always one comedian in a public loo who will belt out more than 3 shakes is a wank.

    ive even tried sittin on the loo to pee but it still doesnt help.

    any advice from you oldies?
    yours
    dampdick dill

  2. #2
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Dear dampdick.

    Have you dribbled into the pants that are up for auction on another thread?

    Have you tried these?



    Yours,
    wellhung withnall.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    any advice from you oldies?
    Wear dark skivvies...And dark pants, as well...And chill out...

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Have you tried these?
    Still using the cuppa method?...

  5. #5
    Lord of Swine
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    Sit down to pee




    I went through a phase where it was like that, lasted a few months.

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    every time i go the loo to pee now, i have to shake my penis about 20 times , or guaranteed as soon as i place him back in my jockeys there will be leakage
    Get the same thing. But it leaks onto my jeans. And walking into an office with urine on the groin of the trouser doesn't always garner a great deal of favour with the hierarchy.

  7. #7
    I am in Jail

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    Wrap tissue around your bell end, will soak up the drips.

  8. #8
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    I have that problem too. Looking for a solution. But fuck only the size of a fifty you lucky, lucky bastard

  9. #9
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    Despite the reputation for lack of hygiene, the Arabs have tissue dispensers above the urinals to avoid spraying urine on their shiny white thobes, and bins below.

    And they still wash their hands.

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    the Arabs have tissue dispensers above the urinals to avoid spraying urine on their shiny white thobes, and bins below.
    And they have a wierd shake.


  11. #11
    Can I still change this?
    Bogon's Avatar
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    I've just accepted it as fate nowadays.

    My cunning plan at work is to take a clipboard, large book or some official looking papers with me to the bog. I put them on the side when I do my business and if I have leakage, I use these items to mask the piss stain when walking back to the office by casually carrying them in front of me.

    Not been called out on it yet.

    Actually, I'm gonna call that a Bogon Tip #396
    Black diamonds? I shit 'em.

  12. #12
    How Dare You!!
    Looper's Avatar
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    Friggin annoying that is. No matter how you shake your peg the last wee drop runs down your leg.

    I was thinking of trialling an elastic band round the throat of the bell-end as a temporary solution.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat KEVIN2008's Avatar
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    Question

    The problem that I am experiencing is a very embarrassing one and that is why I have not been to see my GP.
    When I urinate I do not seem to empty my bladder in full. I pass urine, keep shaking and even though I think that I have finished, still more comes out and when I do up my flies.
    I can feel that some is still dribbling out of my penis.
    This is extremely embarrassing as my trousers often start to fade around the flies area, and become greyer than the rest of my trousers once I have been to the toilet a few times during the day.
    And if I wear thin trousers, you can actually see a small wet patch near my flies after I have been to the toilet.
    This is really getting me down as I am a young man (30-years-old) and this has been going on for about two years now.
    I do not have any other health problems and do not experience any pain when urinating or anything.
    I have tried exercising the muscle that you use to start and stop urinating by tightening and relaxing about 50 times a day for a while but this doesn't seem to help.

    Answer
    Sorry to hear about this. A youngish chap like you shouldn't be 'leaking' like that.
    You definitely need to see a urologist (a urological surgeon) as they are the experts in this kind of thing.
    The urologist will check out your prostate and probably arrange for you to have what are called 'urinary flow studies', in order to find out more about the way you pass water.
    I hope the specialist will be able to help you. If you live in the UK, you'll need a GP's referral letter in order to see him/her.
    So please do see your GP soon so you can get the help you need. Good luck.
    Yours sincerely
    The NetDoctor Medical Team

    Dribbling after urination

  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Just done it again.

    Half of the entire fucking piss ended up in my pants.

  15. #15
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    after you pee whack a Moet cork up your japs eye (from a Magnum for a brother), sorted.

    NEXT!

  16. #16
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurgen
    after you pee whack a Moet cork up your vag (from a Magnum for a brother), sorted.
    Edited ^

  17. #17
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Withnall, i can throw in a pair of chinos with the firetraps

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    Sit down to pee




    I went through a phase where it was like that, lasted a few months.
    Actually, squatting is much more relaxing.

    And you old fuckers, has nothing whatsoever to do with position when [trying] urinating....there are herbal remedies for these "enlarged" areas.

  19. #19
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    Sitting down is the best solution, or if standing, shake it, drop it to dangle a bit and then repeat the shake. The piss is taking the piss so you have to trick it into thinking it is in the clear to sluice the afters into your pants.

  20. #20
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    shake it, drop it to dangle a bit
    How long`s a bit? And whadda do during this dangling, try not to eyeball stage?

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    shake it, drop it to dangle a bit
    How long`s a bit? And whadda do during this dangling, try not to eyeball stage?
    I tend to admire it and if anyone is near, say "look at this monster - it'sfucking great isn't it? I bet your missus would love a go on this bad boy. Make a change from trying to feel your button mushroom on cress, heh pal?" - That should be long enough.
    Originally Posted by bsnub "No wonder I drive a tesla"

  22. #22
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Think I`ll give the sitting down another go

  23. #23
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Think I`ll give the sitting down another go
    And the Moet cork whacked up the vag for afters?

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    And they have a wierd shake.

    Shouldn't that be 'weird Sheik'?

  25. #25
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    Simple solutions
    1. Piss as usual. When you think you have finished, make a conscious effort to relax the whole body (preferably without falling over). The stuff that normally ends up in your pant will run into the bog after a few seconds relaxation. Try not to look angrily at your cock. In fact ignore it during this relax process.
    2. Piss as usual. When you think you have finished, relax and scratch very gently at the base of your coccyx. After just a few moments the remaining pee will evacuate. Again try not to stare at your cock during this phase.

    Number 2 is not advised in public toilets unless you can get a secure cubicle and get your strides down properly.
    Heart of Gold and a Knob of butter.

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