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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
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    Free pussy from my ex..

    There I was minding my own business tonight, wandered down to ex #2's hotel to see what was kickin.

    Ex leaned across to me in a sort of romantic fashion and whispered 'I got free pussy for you tonight'.

    It is not unknown for my ex to .. er .. supply me with young lasses for the night, in case I get cold in bed.

    So her offer sounded OK.

    It got better.

    'You want 2 pussies?'

    Fcuk me, is it my birthday or wot?

    'I got 4 for you'

    Shit, I was going to go to heaven tonight, that's for sure.

    And then..... oh shit!




    It transpires that her resident moggie had given birth to 4 kittens, (as cats do). Although the kits were maybe about 1 month old, and with eyes fully open etc, the mum was doing a shite job of looking after them recently. She abandoned then for several days and then carted them off from their cosy hideaway in the store-room and deposited them on top of an ants' nest...

    So ex decided to rescue them. But for tonight, there was no secure place to put them, except in one of my yet-to-open rooms at my little hotel.

    So here they are, 4 little bundles of fur, mewing and wondering what's going on.

    The vomit on the plate is kitten food, which they seem to eat OK.

    Anyone have some suggestions as to how to look after them until they are old enough to fight the local cobra snakes? Or should I just drown them?
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  2. #2
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    ....ain't they cute.






    Tied sack.
    Khlong.

  3. #3
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    They will go a good solid 3 minutes in the microwave before they explode.... pull em at 2.45 minutes and they will be tasty.

  4. #4
    Member Tarquin Chucklefucc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    Free pussy from my ex
    Nothing like it.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    I just spent the last half hour with a tit, I mean teat stuck in their hungry mouths. They are about 3 weeks old, and just about eating solid food, (well the 2 fat ones are and the 2 runts are not).

    It is a tough life here - they all better start eating pronto or they are out with the bin bags.

    I'm going to bed. If any of them die in the night then that's one less mouth to feed.

    Heartless bastard ain't I - definitely not my idea of free pussy.

  6. #6
    POTUS HOCUS
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    The merit made will surely transmoggyfy 4 underage pussies into wife number.....

    Be careful n to reincarnate as St Francid of a Sissy

  7. #7
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    always best to wrap sellotape round them otherwise they will split, so I've heard

  8. #8
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    there was no secure place to put them, except in one of my yet-to-open rooms at my little hotel
    You really couldn't swing a cat in there either




  9. #9
    R.I.P.
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    Where have you put them? is that a tiled hole? Let them explore for a bit and then they will sleep. Introduce them to your female guests, the cat women ones will be all goo goo ga gaa over them and may give you a good write up.

  10. #10
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    Redheaded pussies, too...Game on...

  11. #11
    I am in Jail

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    I'm surprised you haven't sunk your life savings in to one of these yet.


  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
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    Those pussies are not free, no pet is.

  13. #13
    R.I.P.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaitongBoy View Post
    Redheaded pussies, too...Game on...
    Ginger cats are usually male....

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BaitongBoy View Post
    Redheaded pussies, too...Game on...
    Ginger cats are usually male....
    That's what they'd like you to believe.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    Ginger cats are usually male....
    I was hinting at the other type of cat...

  16. #16
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    Bloody Thai pussy. They are 3 weeks old and haven't got a clue about drinking milk or eating kitten food. I had to buy a syringe and squirt milk down their throats.

    During the night, the most adventurous of them made a break for the border and managed all of 10 metres, but was a bugger to find amongst the old building materials.

    Fortunately, their screams as I tortured them with warm milk has attracted their mum back, so I've put the kittens in a large box that they can't climb out of.

    If their mum has some sense and stays with her kids, instead of running off every time one of us quietly places some cat food nearby, then life would be a lot easier.

    I've left them in the store room - if mum decides to cart them elsewhere today, then at least I'll get some sleep tonight.

  17. #17
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    I had to buy a syringe and squirt milk down their throats.
    1 You can choke them doing that

    2 Hope it's not cows milk. That'll make them ill

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
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    1 You can choke them doing that

    2 Hope it's not cows milk. That'll make them ill
    1 - Yes I know
    2 - It is and I know

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    one of my yet-to-open rooms at my little hotel.


    Have to agree with the others, that is a very small room, even by your mediocre standards... Where is the door?

  20. #20
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarquin Chucklefucc View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    Free pussy from my ex
    Nothing like it.
    I could think of nothing worse

  21. #21
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    Stop beating around the bush and just do what thaimeme said.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
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    I may not have to choke them to death with too much milk, or even poison them with cows' milk. The mum nipped into the store room and took one of the kittens away - she secreted it under some old roof tiles behind a guest room.

    So hopefully she will come back tonight and take the other 3 kittens.

    In any case, I told ex to syringe-feed them tonight, because I have to look after a guest-room of jinglies, (which means locking the drinks fridge and hiding the complimentary coffee/tea, cos they will steal it all to take back to India to sell in their shop).

    Goodness gracious me

    Introduce them to your female guests, the cat women ones will be all goo goo ga gaa over them and may give you a good write up.
    You would think so. This morning, I was carrying them in a box down to ex's hotel and 2 of her female, British guests were just leaving to go to their 5-star, holiday hotel (Twin Palms) at Surin Beach.

    'Would you like to take these with you?' I jokingly asked.

    One of the young ladies stuck her head in the box and recoiled in horror.

    'Oh my God, I hate cats!!'

    Anyway, the bad hotel review should be for my ex's hotel, not mine....

  23. #23
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Has anyone else noticed Thai cats don't go 'Meoww' they just do 'Moww' ?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Has anyone else noticed Thai cats don't go 'Meoww' they just do 'Moww' ?
    Asian accents.....

  25. #25
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    No Cats learn to communicate with humans, a Meow sound is for food, cats never use Meow sound on other cats, that Meow accent you hear in Thailand is a hookers name, strong and fit, unlike a Thai cat that lives on rice and the gehcos it can catch, but even they run out eventually becoming extinct through over hunting.

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