Thread: Eyes wide shut

It's hurting me to write this thread, with the one blurryy bloodshot eye open.

Anyway... on Wednesday after being dragged around the 3 communal pools downstairs by the nipper, I came home and the Missus remarked my eye was a little red.It's no new thing, me waking up to bloodshot eyes , so I ignored it and went on my merry way


I woke up the next day and it was full of yellow and glued shut, then progressively got worse over the day, the pressure was like someone had inserted a golf ball behind my eyeball. woke up this morning and its in both eyes now..

Here's a good idea what I see in the mirror now.....apart from the Barry Gibb smile



Anyhow, the questions I need answering are ....,

Is it Allergic conjunctivitis, although I have no allergies, apart from exercise

There's been no grit in my eyes, could it be the worst form of conjunctivitis, that can lead to losing an eye, due to over chlorination...... Chemical Conjunctivitis?

There's been a lot of rain, would that just be Bacterial Conjunctivitis, due to all of the chlorine and sweaty people or those dirty mussie fukkers who like to bathe fully clothed, washing the chlorine away ?


Could it be Viral conjunctivitis? where someone waited whilst I broke the seal then dipped their cock in my pint?


How much is a guide dog ?

Originally Posted by Dillinger

How much is a guide dog ?

Got one here that finds drugs too. Fifty quid and she's yours.

Fucking most annoying ailment ever. Even gives toothache a run for its money.

Don't touch it or it'll eventually spread to both eyes - then the real fun begins.

Feels like you got sand in your eyeball, does it not?

^

Originally Posted by Dillinger

woke up this morning and its in both eyes now..

Too late...

^ Thats the weird thing, it doesnt feel like there's any sand in them and its spread to both eyes now. It's a burning sensation/ My guess is those pools have had all the chlorine wasged out due to it pissing down non stop, or worse, some fukker pissed in the pool.

Originally Posted by Tarquin Chucklefucc

Got one here that finds drugs too. Fifty quid and she's yours.

I'm in, could I trust you to go in my pocket and pull out a 50 ?

^Is the cat typing your posts, Dill?...Get some good medical care, mate...Hope you feel better soon...

Bad news. I've got it too. There's a mini epidemic going around. Contagious as fuck Good news is it typically only lasts a few days. Go to the chemist and get an eyewash. Relieves the symptoms for around an hour.

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

^Is the cat typing your posts, Dill?.

If i did have a prime suspect,,I would have gone to a certain poster on this page and saught advice on the most humane way to get him down from the 18th floor

Originally Posted by klong toey

Oh and i stuck a pin in the fluid sack cos it was pissing me off.

You remind me of an old mate who sliced a wrist on a circular saw. Rather than go to hospital he pushed the ligaments back in and stiched it up himself.

Stupid fvcker

Originally Posted by klong toey

I was going out of an evening with me sun glasses on

I had mine in my pocket, i couldnt care in the end, although I did get a couple of remarks from waitresses, one even asked why I was crying......the great thing is it doesnt stop you drinking

Originally Posted by klong toey

Gert threw a wobbly and made me go to the doctors worst thing was she got infected about a week later.

Mine's here flat out beside me now, she's my nurse, although a bit dead to the world at the mo, that'll teach her to try and keep up, although I think its time for the eye wash and antibiotic eyewash, guess I will be doing that myself.

She did mention before passing out that her eyes were itching, how was Gert after you passed it on?
should I jump a taxi ?

Here's a lovely bit of muff

^ is that a shoecam ?

^No, it's a muff-cam.

You've obviously got some kateoy jisim in your eyeball son.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

how was Gert after you passed it on?

The bitch borrowed me E Wires.
I got them back after a couple of weeks.

You haven't been doing a bit of arc welding, lately, without eye protection.

It's God's punishment..




..drop lul

It can spread pretty fast. Wash all towels etc. that you might share.

urine

get earl over to piss in your eyes

Originally Posted by wasabi

You haven't been doing a bit of arc welding, lately, without eye protection.

Had "Arc Eyes" Once, and I do not want them again ,every time you blink its bloody agony .

Ya can't stuff around with your eyes, man. Kill that bug, and kill it quick !

The best remedy I have found is boil clean water, allow it to cool a little, mix a teaspoon of table salt into the water and use cotton wool buds to bathe your eyes.

Use 1 bud on 1 eye, wash your hands, and use a fresh bud on the other eye.

Good luck mate!

I got bit in BOTH eyes when I had to do a visa run to Vientiane I could barely, see and had to keep sunnies on all weekend. stuff that so will keep some drops handy in case of another out break.