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Thread: Eyes wide shut

  1. #1
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Eyes wide shut

    It's hurting me to write this thread, with the one blurryy bloodshot eye open.

    Anyway... on Wednesday after being dragged around the 3 communal pools downstairs by the nipper, I came home and the Missus remarked my eye was a little red.It's no new thing, me waking up to bloodshot eyes , so I ignored it and went on my merry way


    I woke up the next day and it was full of yellow and glued shut, then progressively got worse over the day, the pressure was like someone had inserted a golf ball behind my eyeball. woke up this morning and its in both eyes now..

    Here's a good idea what I see in the mirror now.....apart from the Barry Gibb smile



    Anyhow, the questions I need answering are ....,

    Is it Allergic conjunctivitis, although I have no allergies, apart from exercise

    There's been no grit in my eyes, could it be the worst form of conjunctivitis, that can lead to losing an eye, due to over chlorination...... Chemical Conjunctivitis?

    There's been a lot of rain, would that just be Bacterial Conjunctivitis, due to all of the chlorine and sweaty people or those dirty mussie fukkers who like to bathe fully clothed, washing the chlorine away ?


    Could it be Viral conjunctivitis? where someone waited whilst I broke the seal then dipped their cock in my pint?


    How much is a guide dog ?

  2. #2
    Member Tarquin Chucklefucc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    How much is a guide dog ?
    Got one here that finds drugs too. Fifty quid and she's yours.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
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    Fucking most annoying ailment ever. Even gives toothache a run for its money.

    Don't touch it or it'll eventually spread to both eyes - then the real fun begins.

    Feels like you got sand in your eyeball, does it not?

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat

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    ^
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    woke up this morning and its in both eyes now..
    Too late...

  5. #5
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    ^ Thats the weird thing, it doesnt feel like there's any sand in them and its spread to both eyes now. It's a burning sensation/ My guess is those pools have had all the chlorine wasged out due to it pissing down non stop, or worse, some fukker pissed in the pool.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tarquin Chucklefucc
    Got one here that finds drugs too. Fifty quid and she's yours.
    I'm in, could I trust you to go in my pocket and pull out a 50 ?

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat

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    ^Is the cat typing your posts, Dill?...Get some good medical care, mate...Hope you feel better soon...

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    When i got it my eye ball had a big fluid sack swell up had the full Monty grit itch.
    Oh and i stuck a pin in the fluid sack cos it was pissing me off.
    Gert threw a wobbly and made me go to the doctors worst thing was she got infected about a week later.
    I was going out of an evening with me sun glasses on had a few pool matches to play in the league played with them on.
    Red eye not good.
    Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests... more drink!

  8. #8
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Bad news. I've got it too. There's a mini epidemic going around. Contagious as fuck Good news is it typically only lasts a few days. Go to the chemist and get an eyewash. Relieves the symptoms for around an hour.

  9. #9
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaitongBoy
    ^Is the cat typing your posts, Dill?.
    If i did have a prime suspect,,I would have gone to a certain poster on this page and saught advice on the most humane way to get him down from the 18th floor

  10. #10
    Member Tarquin Chucklefucc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    Oh and i stuck a pin in the fluid sack cos it was pissing me off.
    You remind me of an old mate who sliced a wrist on a circular saw. Rather than go to hospital he pushed the ligaments back in and stiched it up himself.

    Stupid fvcker

  11. #11
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    I was going out of an evening with me sun glasses on
    I had mine in my pocket, i couldnt care in the end, although I did get a couple of remarks from waitresses, one even asked why I was crying......the great thing is it doesnt stop you drinking
    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    Gert threw a wobbly and made me go to the doctors worst thing was she got infected about a week later.
    Mine's here flat out beside me now, she's my nurse, although a bit dead to the world at the mo, that'll teach her to try and keep up, although I think its time for the eye wash and antibiotic eyewash, guess I will be doing that myself.

    She did mention before passing out that her eyes were itching, how was Gert after you passed it on?
    should I jump a taxi ?

  12. #12
    Member Tarquin Chucklefucc's Avatar
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    Here's a lovely bit of muff


  13. #13
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    ^ is that a shoecam ?

  14. #14
    Member Tarquin Chucklefucc's Avatar
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    ^No, it's a muff-cam.

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    You've obviously got some kateoy jisim in your eyeball son.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    how was Gert after you passed it on?
    The bitch borrowed me E Wires.
    I got them back after a couple of weeks.

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    You haven't been doing a bit of arc welding, lately, without eye protection.

  18. #18
    Neo
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    It's God's punishment..




    ..drop lul

  19. #19
    R.I.P.
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    It can spread pretty fast. Wash all towels etc. that you might share.

  20. #20
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    urine

    get earl over to piss in your eyes

  21. #21
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    its horrible and a thing I am prone to ,, check under your eyelids mate you might just have a tiny ulcer like I have that won't go away , this will infect the eye every so often.

    Ironic thing I have only just seen this thread and had just posted a thread about my eye experience last week .

    Good luck with it mate
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    You haven't been doing a bit of arc welding, lately, without eye protection.
    Had "Arc Eyes" Once, and I do not want them again ,every time you blink its bloody agony .

  23. #23
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    Ya can't stuff around with your eyes, man. Kill that bug, and kill it quick !

  24. #24
    On a walkabout
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    The best remedy I have found is boil clean water, allow it to cool a little, mix a teaspoon of table salt into the water and use cotton wool buds to bathe your eyes.

    Use 1 bud on 1 eye, wash your hands, and use a fresh bud on the other eye.

    Good luck mate!

  25. #25
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    I got bit in BOTH eyes when I had to do a visa run to Vientiane I could barely, see and had to keep sunnies on all weekend. stuff that so will keep some drops handy in case of another out break.

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