Thread: How does your missus cock block you?

This poor bloke kept a spreadsheet of excuses as to why is missus wouldn't put out.

Do any of them ring any bells?

She sounds like a right barrel of laughs.

Sounds as if this is a personal problem, Har..

Not my business.

Best of luck to ya.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

How does your missus cock block you?

Learn to fuck them well and make them squirt harry - you won't have this problem

Looks like the chap could do with finding a bit of spare

'I'm watching the show'

???

That did not used to stop a holiday GF of mine in Bangers years ago.

She used to park herself doggy style facing towards the TV with the remote in one hand and her mobile in the other while I was busy on the job cranking away from behind.

Yes ^ we have seen the webcam action

Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

How does your missus cock block you?

Learn to fuck them well and make them squirt harry - you won't have this problem

Really Albert. And what do you do when they go "Baaaaaa Baaaaaaa"?

She's saying she wants a shower, not a grower ........... not a shower, ya limp dick bastard

The male human when erect is one of two sizes. Long or rather short. Most males grow to an extended length after a rush of blood enters the penis. This person is a GROWER.

Some males will not grow in length when peaking an erection. These males are as long as they are gonna get, either stiff, or soft like a bunny. They are known as SHOWERS, as they show their goods in the beginning.
Johnny is a shower. Susan was disappointed when Johnny didn't extend his man muscle more. Freddie is a grower. Linda is in great pain in her lower abdomen after Freddie extended an extra foot in her vagina. Are you a shower or grower?

Originally Posted by The balding Coot

Given the success ratio of this poor sod, he would probably have more chance of action trying his luck on the singles scene.

If she is more interested in the TV than him, then he needs to do one of the following;

a) boot her well and truly into touch
b) do a morning flit to Asia/S.America
c) find himself a bit on the side

Well did a prince give you the kiss of life ?

No disrespect but I never knew you existed

Have you been in hibernation or did emu have a prolonged sore throat ?

Extremely funny this T.D one never knows if one is fcking coming or going

From your multiple choice selection Rod I would pick C ,but this is obvious which is why I have already stated that.

" 3,000 baht please" usually cock blocks me.

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

" 3,000 baht please" usually cock blocks me.

Depends where you are Stoker


1,000 baht is the going rate for a good all nighter

Bit like quality street but you don't take them out of the tin you bid on what you want first.

Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

" 3,000 baht please" usually cock blocks me.

Depends where you are Stoker


1,000 baht is the going rate for a good all nighter

Bit like quality street but you don't take them out of the tin you bid on what you want first.

Jaysus. Married, aint you?

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

" 3,000 baht please" usually cock blocks me.

Depends where you are Stoker


1,000 baht is the going rate for a good all nighter

Bit like quality street but you don't take them out of the tin you bid on what you want first.

Jaysus. Married, aint you?

Yes I am

What you put on a dog collar and think you're a fcuking Vicar!

My life is not for you to judge,I like fanny and that is that.

How come the painters were never in?

Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave

,I like fanny, ass and cock and that is that.

Okay, now I understand.

My mate married a nun, nun in the morning and nun at night.

cock block

I thought this was about guys married to ladyboys 555!

averages one a week , what's the problem ?

"I feel sweaty and gross....(didn't shower till next morning)"
"I just came back from gym ... (didn't shower till next morning)"
"I'm sweaty and gross and I'm tired"
"I need a shower I feel gross"

doesn't sound like he's missing much

Sweaty is the best time to jump on board, saves you from having to spit on the cunty thing to get it ready.

Never screw your wife in the morning, in case something better comes along during the day.

Originally Posted by Fondles

Sweaty is the best time to jump on board, saves you from having to spit on the cunty thing to get it ready.

And who said romance is dead, eh?

Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave

My life is not for you to judge,I like fanny and that is that.

Yes it is. The second you posted it on a public forum people can judge you however they see fit. How do you plan on stopping them exactly?

A married taxi driver fucking his customers behind his wife's back. Classy guy.