Thread: Can you 'take someone down'?

Have you ever been in a fight and what was the outcome?

Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fights Than They Imagine | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


NEWS WITH VIDEO Jun 19, 2014



WASHINGTON—Contradicting the long-held belief that they would just go off and destroy anyone who tried to mess with them, a Department of Health and Human Services report published Thursday revealed that U.S. males would be on average 4,000 percent less effective in a fight than they imagine.

“Despite the typical American male’s conviction that he would viciously beat down anyone who came at him and end the whole thing with one punch, we found that in the event of an actual violent altercation, most adult men would almost certainly injure themselves far worse than any assailant,” read the 80-page report, which went on to confirm that nearly all American males would be unable to execute a single maneuver they envision themselves capable of performing, be it an uppercut, a roundhouse, or grabbing an opponent by the back of the neck and smashing his face down into the bar.

“Predictions of being amped up on massive adrenaline rushes or having multiple friends jump in to back them up are similarly unfounded, with over 75 percent of confrontations instead projected to end with panicked apologies or pleas to be let out of a headlock.” The report stated, however, that the majority of men correctly estimate that such fights would last a total of six seconds.

the onion, enough said.

I'd like to know what members on here have been in an actual fight and recount the details.

Nice to see my tax dollars at work producing such an informative HHS study.

Nope - not had a fight. Never felt the need. Been hit a few times, and twotted a couple of people as well, but I would not call them fights.

Most fights you see, especially with drunk people, are laughable. I did witness one nasty one though where the two guys both clearly knew what they were doing.

Was in one real brawl back in the day. Four of them - one of me. I got sucker-slapped by one, and then they were all on me. Bloody mess I was. Fourth Grade had some monster-big girls back then. Probably even more dangerous now.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Nice to see my tax dollars at work producing such an informative HHS study.

It's from The Onion, a satirical news site.

My favorite one from The Onion during the Iraq war.

Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit To Wife's Vagina | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

I'm an Onion fan through and through. Yes satirical. Thanks pickel.

Originally Posted by pickel

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Nice to see my tax dollars at work producing such an informative HHS study.

It's from The Onion, a satirical news site.

Oh. Must have missed that one. Never heard of it.

^^
Judging by your av, I'd have thought you prefer carrots.

where's flashbang? sure he got some tales about 1 inch punches and awesome roundhouses

Damn it! UN BAN RickThai, and release JamieJambos.

We need those twos long tails for this type of thread

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Originally Posted by pickel

It's from The Onion, a satirical news site.

Oh. Must have missed that one. Never heard of it.

You don't know what you've missed. My favourite article of theirs:


Sherpa Who Led Neil Armstrong To Moon Dead At 71 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Closest I have come to a brawl was in BKK when I won the pool table. There was betting involved, 2000. Last game I got and the money was on the table. Bloke was a sore loser, intoxicated prick, wanted to do a runner.

Came at me with a pool cue, swung and hit the lamps. Security sorted him out.

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist from repeatedly punching the guy. It required surgery and I vowed to avoid them unless absolutely necessary from then on. Never really was a fighter though and could probably count all the ones I've had on one hand. I have a good sense of people looking for them and just avoid them.

Brings back fond memories of the 2nd grade.

Originally Posted by pickel

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots of heavy bag in the gym, this is the likely outcome.
Better off using your elbow.

Originally Posted by Necron99

Originally Posted by pickel

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots of heavy bag in the gym, this is the likely outcome.
Better off using your elbow.

Or your head. If you end up in fights, you're probably not using it for anything else.

Originally Posted by Necron99

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots in the gym, this is the likely outcome.

It was the scaphoid, so I probably glanced my thumb in the process. Didn't feel a thing until the next morning.

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