Thread: Can you 'take someone down'?

^ Gee, you must have been really unlucky to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, all those many times.

^ Thats what i thought. I had more holes in me than a teabag at one point.
Fck that, its all peace and love nowadays.

My best one was when I was 25 years old.

I was in this pub watching a band when this ugly big mother fuker decided that I needed to be bashed.

Anyway my mate had just gone to the pisser and this dude made his move over to me to talk up his shit that he wanted to send me into outer space.

Sensing that I was in for some damage I decided to take my chances and go in first.

Smacked this fuker down into the corner with a flurry of blows, next thing the tosser is getting back up

Fuk, that's my best shot.

Bouncers came in and saved my skinny arse.

Was at a Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight gig long ago. Teens. Sitting in the back row ( not bad for necking) this dude started throwing popcorn over the seats and acting like a dick. A few people started shouting at him to calm down.

I had enough of this shit so I poured my Fanta over his head next thing he jumped the seats and wanted a go at me. He got tangled up in someone's handbag as he made the *plunge* and ended up in the curtains. What a great night. And I was all dressed up too, could have finished him with my shoe.

I think I told you guys before about the time I walked into a Mafia stronghold, battered them all and walked out with their dirty money.

Do go on.....................

When I give the Killer my best shot I snapped a few fingers.

Crawled into work next day and booked it up as " Workers Comp".

5 Weeks off work.

Those days are gone.

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

I had my Scaphoid Bone removed from my left wrist. Fcuk knows when I hurt it but it was a painful procedure to have done.

What did they replace it with?

Scaphoids are the hardest bones to heal because they get the least circulation. After wearing a cast for a month it still didn't heal so I required surgery. They had to take a sliver of bone from my forearm and insert it into the fracture. The nerves must have been damaged in the operation because now whenever I bump that knobby bone where the thumb meets the wrist (not the scaphoid) it's instant fire like when you bump your funny bone in the elbow.

Been in more fights than I can remember, boys school, stand up and punch on. Later gangs, then blue uniforms. Did a few rounds in the ring [amateur] not too good, brothers were better. Been stabbed, shot, and beaten, ribs broken, retina detached.

Have rolled around the ground with west Indians [black Jamaican] UK, drug dealers and fought for my life against a lifer with a shiv [knife] max security prison OZ.

Not a hard man, soft really, all in all, should have gone into banking. Jim

Originally Posted by jamescollister

should have gone into banking. Jim

You'd be in for an even bigger kicking if you did that now Jim.

Never actually had a fight in my adult life (16+)..
Thrown a few drunken punches in the nightclub and received a few too

Had a few fights at school though

Originally Posted by FlyFree

Originally Posted by Necron99

Originally Posted by pickel

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots of heavy bag in the gym, this is the likely outcome.
Better off using your elbow.

Or your head. If you end up in fights, you're probably not using it for anything else.

Last fight 8 months ago fractured both hands and couldn't ride or wank for awhile, some people need to be punched in the head repeatedly.

Back in my home town, a pub landlord was ex para (really) - hard as fucking nails. He had 2 vertebrae removed and after the 2nd day refused all pain relief because in his words he wanted to know he was getting better as the pain eased. We used to pop upstairs to visit him lying on his bed, face so white with pain that you didn't know where the bed sheet ended and his face started. Anyway, being a garrison town, there would always be the odd squaddie getting a bit further out and coming to disrupt our pleasant local pub (for local people), and after a few sherberts they usually kick off. One time a fucking big unit of a bloke started acting up, so George went over to tell him to pipe down, and went back to his bar stool to sup his lager. The big unit wasn't happy though, started mouthing off, walking over getting in his face, and George ignored it all, but the lad kept going. I can not quite remember what the big unit said exactly to take George to breaking point (something about his daughters, 2 out of 3 were roasting hot blondes in their 20's so usually this) but George glanced in the direction of the lad and said "You're not hard enough to talk to me like that, son". There was something in the way he said it that was so menacing, so backed up with the level of destruction that was about to unfold, that this lad visibly deflated, sumped his drink, and left the bar.

I've tried it a couple of times, but can not get the menace right I guess as it usually ended up in a slap for me or the promise of being duffed up when I left which can make flagging a taxi irksome.

Most people I think don't want to fight so ignoring those that do is often then best route in life. I did some boxing training with a mate a few years ago though after one close run simply because I thought if it does ever kick off, I want to know what I am doing - the little I learnt I hope will be better than shitting myself, waiving my arms like a Jerry Springer guest, and being hit a lot.

Sprinting - boxing - judo

Running away fast is the best option. A combo of boxing and judo is the best, imo. Leave all of the fancy stuff like Wing Chun and Ninjutsu to the experts like me.

FYI I am a Ninja. One of the elite.

Originally Posted by Rigger

Originally Posted by FlyFree

Originally Posted by Necron99

Originally Posted by pickel

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots of heavy bag in the gym, this is the likely outcome.
Better off using your elbow.

Or your head. If you end up in fights, you're probably not using it for anything else.

Last fight 8 months ago fractured both hands and couldn't ride or wank for awhile, some people need to be punched in the head repeatedly.

Punching someone repeatedly in the skull is pretty stupid. They are really hard. One rib shot can put a man in bed for a month. One liver shot can end a fight. Added bonus is you don't fracture both of your hands.

Actually, this is an interesting thread. Fighting is rare among decent folk and most, being honest, have no idea of what to do and how to do it beyond some ill formed notion of delivering a punch or kick somewhere in the direction of the opponent.

I suppose that's why it looks from a disinterested viewpoint many bar room scuffles etc descend into a melee of handbag swapping.

The only fight I have ever had was in my first grammar school. A fat, but big, lad teamed up with his smaller friend and did the rounds in the bullying stakes. Fattie never actually got physical but got his point man to do the pushing and intimidating. Through a combination of their team work they were quite successful in achieving a sort of superiority. They eventually got round to me. Shortie concocted his insults and started pushing and fatboy did the jeering. I'd nowhere to go having literally my back to the wall. In a mad moment I screwed up my eyes and started flailing with my fists at short arse hitting him in the face. As soon as it began, it was over. Short arse stood before me looking stunned, with tears in his eyes and a dribble of blood dripping from his nose. Fat boy capitulated and looked embarrassed. I had won it seemed but when I looked at short arse and saw the hurt in his eyes I felt terrible. I knew then I was not a fighter.

Mind you, now I'm older and have my Thai wing woman at my side, I am a force to be reckoned with and have all my moves planned in advance: a quick advance, a two knuckle blow to the Adam's apple, a fast wrist lock forcing the body downwards followed by a thumb gouging of the eye socket. Yep, I'm a mean machine and with attitude I can take on any woman who pushes her luck.

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

I've been in many fights. I thought that was just part of growing up.

Perhaps a life changing moment for me was when I was 13. I was nearing the end of primary school and we went to the academy for 3 days to get an idea of how things go and how our 1st year timetable would be after the Summer
.

You didn't leave primary school until you were 13?

Were you stupid or was this a different system?

Originally Posted by Rigger

Originally Posted by FlyFree

Originally Posted by Necron99

Originally Posted by pickel

My last fight was about 9 years ago and I ended up fracturing my wrist

For the average person, unless you do heavy work with your hands or lots of heavy bag in the gym, this is the likely outcome.
Better off using your elbow.

Or your head. If you end up in fights, you're probably not using it for anything else.

Last fight 8 months ago fractured both hands and couldn't ride or wank for awhile, some people need to be punched in the head repeatedly.

My late brother in law killed a guy with a punch in the '60's. I saw how that haunted him all his life. Taught me a thing or two as a young man.

Originally Posted by FlyFree

Taught me a thing or two as a young man.

not to piss off your BIL??

Originally Posted by thegent

You didn't leave primary school until you were 13?

Were you stupid or was this a different system?

12 then. I turned 13 in first year. No big deal.

Originally Posted by Iceman123

So how many beatings did you take that required so much cosmetic surgery? You must have had a face like a bucket of mashed crabs.