Best Troll Ever?

[Gerbil]

Taken from ThaiVisa.....

Ok guys I need some real help!!! Really, I need to know what to do. I met my Thai wife 6 years ago on line, she was a virgin with a good education. We talked for about one year before I went to meet her in Thailand. Her dad started with 100k for the dowry but I went to Thailand to get engaged, the promise was she would be following me to the USA. After I blew about 65 or 85K I can’t remember it was crazy, travelling everywhere, taking everyone she could find a reason to bring with us, three mega parties from hell, lots of bullshit. I should have left then but I was in too deep to stop. She was coming to join me, right well I spent my 30 days there and more 1000’s.

Then I headed back to the USA to get ready for my new Thai wife. Paid Siam legal for her visa but she would not fill it out. She “Not understand English” OK I need to send more money to pay for someone to help her in Thailand. OK, more time, more time, more excuses, getting pissed ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!! Her dad says she has to be married in Thailand, because she has friends and family there, and it is the last her family will see of her for a while. OK, sounded OK. I was thinking of her and what would make her happy and I knew in the USA she would not have any one. I do not have any one in Thailand. I hear this damn dowry again and again, I thought we had worked that out a long time ago, this 100k dowry. I am like hell no, it’s every damn day thing on this and it’s not dropping much. I just blew, I am thinking 85k, 6 months ago there, so it’s down to 35k but I have to buy a lot of gold and diamonds and pay for all these damn parties and people’s travel expenses, rooms, you name it. I got over it so I spent over 65k this time and its 45 days in Thailand this time.

After that back to USA, now I have to do a different visa, a marriage visa, more money, more excuses and damn more money for a Thai to help again, well more time. Ohhhhhhhh she’s pregnant now she can’t leave now. She must have the baby there. But now the first trip I was talked into buying a used truck to help her dads business with a loan for 17500k, which I never got back and they in return gave us a piece of land close to them and a house her Dad started to build, I was milked for this but we need house then I am promised if I sell my home at the beach in SC, we could live in the house she owns while we build her new one. But I can’t live with Grandma and Grandpa so it’s go get another house. All the American bathrooms in every house, hot water heaters in every house American toilets in every house and I had to buy a real nice four door Isuzu truck for her and baby and everything is supposed to be in our names. I am trusting my new wife and father in law to do me right I just took their family from poor to very well off by USA standards to mega rich by Thai standards But no one is respecting me or treating me good or even nice. Lots of bullshit excuses, I am getting really, really pissed. Still don't have the wedding money back yet just excuses, “ Your name is in company, it bought land, it bought more houses, it go to new Mercedes and a BMW SUV and a new Nissan” Now I won’t give her dad any more money, the baby is coming. I have not been paid back for the first loan yet, I have not got the wedding money back yet and she never went to USA and ohhh damn.

I could list a hell of a lot on her. I am trying to keep it short, so now this sweet virgin girl. I being a real ass I am forced to sign off on the house and land if I am not going to give her dad any more money for the new company he has to borrow money on the house and land that they gave us in the wedding. So much bull shit its driving me nuts. I feel like leaving but I have a new baby boy coming any day now.

So she wants to go out to enjoy some music for the last time before the baby comes. OK sounds good like some tunes and a show. So of course I am pissed, I need to talk to my family let them know what the hell is going on. They have done everything now to keep me from talking to my family back in the states. So I use an excuse to go outside the club and smoke and yes I do smoke. So I am outside the club talking to my parents, Daddy is like there is just you son so I’m like yes but what do I do, I have a baby and new wife and they have taken over 175k at this point.

Walking back inside the club, as soon as I walked inside a bunch of guys inside the club started fighting, blocking me from my pregnant wife who was inside. Well I am a biker /racer guy been turning wrenches 35 plus years and a old martial arts guy, any how I try to break it up being as nice as I can. So I get to my wife inside and then they are trying to kick my ass and I am throwing these guys through the air, getting kicked in the back of my head being beat at from all corners and a big dude my size fighting me, grabbing my hands so I just got feet left, any how he’s got my hands in some lock so I have to snatch my hands, break it to get him away and get back my grounds. Somehow I get back to my wife. After a while all hell breaks loose, cops show up by the car and truck loads and every one nice because I was being nice. I wasn’t hitting them I just pushed hard and blocked hard and did what I had to. Anyhow back to her Dad, she tells him everything. He’s like, “Why you not call lame shit” Well I did OK myself but he’s mad and talking shit because I am fighting with Thai people but I was trying to get to my pregnant wife that is about to drop my son any day.

So yes three days later little man comes to the world and standing in the hospital with her family when they bring the baby out her dad says, FIRST WORDS OUT HIS MOUTH NOW EXACT WORDS was “Ohhhhhhhhh that not going to work, he’s way to white, look at your son, he looks just like you !!!!! “ Well, yah what you think he going to look like, he acts mad and hurt and takes his wife and I thought at that time her sister and they leave, go home. So I am there got a mega cute little guy, my world looking lots, lots better after fighting over the house, the land, the money and the big damn fight.

We are back home and I got to go buy all this off the wall baby shit right now! I mean stuff he won’t need before he’s a year or two, so I’m like why and her favourite words are, “It’s the Thai way” and those are her favourite words, when I don’t want to do something or I don’t understand. I am being screwed badly.

Her dad sets up this big moped show for me to go to. He wants me to get up on the stage in front of a lot of drunken Thai guys who have been there drinking all day, that I don't even know. I build Harleys not mopeds but he’s pushing so hard bought tickets for me to be on stage with the guy that’s at our big office in Nakhon Sawan. I keep telling them I not going, I am going to hang around the house to take care of wife and baby.

So it is night time early she’s gone to bed and I mean she went to bed real early for her, big time! And we need drinks, milk; diapers so off to the 7 must go. But wait, wait her dad took the first truck, I bought, gave it to some Thai guy who works for him and wife says she can’t find the keys to our new truck I bought for her. So she says, “Take motorcycle my dad bring for you to ride” I wanted to buy a real bike but they said, “Didn’t want me spend my money, use my money for company.” “Use this moped he bring.” We all ready to fight over it, it is too small I’m a big guy andme and the wife had all ready been fighting for a solid week over a helmet, she kept telling me, “No need in Thailand” I tell. “Yes I need” She tries to give me a used chuck of crap to use, then we go to buy one, she wants me to get the cheapest thing there is. I am like no, so it’s a fight we go home, no helmet. I sneak off, get a good one though before riding, now back to the night, that night, I have the helmet she’s says, “Go to store.” So I do, I am only 1 mile max from the house 5 minute by moped max, maybe 3 in real time, driving slow, I am hit so hard from behind I! I just know because a drunk driver ran me over with a car before, I have been hit before by car. I went 303 meters from where the bike first hit the road and it was another Thai guy that hit me with his bike and he’s laying in the road and then comes another guy aiming right at my head, I duck into a ball and he still hits my head ripping the top off my helmet, I’m hurt bad, robbed while lying in the ditch. Five nice Thai girls drag me out the water where I am drowning, dying, this other guy is lying in the road dying from head injuries. The other guy is over with about 50 other guys talking, every one freaking out. I was to die but not there friend and I have someone call my wife. I did not understand everything there’s only a couple there that talk English and it takes my wife 40 to 45 min to drive the truck to get me! She runs to the cops first not to me I have to drag myself a good 1000 to 1500 feet to where her and the cops are talking. She says, “Wait in truck” I am like, “ I want to know what’s going on” So she drives me to hospital. I am messed up bleeding everywhere, no meat left anywhere on my arms, legs and hands. So they clean me up just a little at the hospital and send me home. I am like, “What I need to get right but wife says they say you can leave, so it’s back to the house but I can’t walk I am messed up and missing skin and meat everywhere.

Then when I can walk, move, we got to go to the police station and it’s a little while to get there but I hear her and her dad outside talking. “If I died they would have got like 3 and a half million dollars because an accident pays off at three and a half times face value” So now I am scared for my life, what’s going on? This is my wife right and the man I just made rich? Well it’s time for the police. I ask, “ I need lawyer” No it has been worked out with her Dads cop friend, “You got to pay him 10k and everything ok” I’m like, “Why I got to pay? I not do anything, they almost kill me”! It the Thai way, so we are all at the police station her, I thought her sister but learn it is her daughter but she still lies about it but she has called her daughter when you catch her off her guard. So they tell me, “ I got to pay kids family because he dead and I need to give them my retirement for all my life” I am like no way this is my wife sitting next to me, bleeding me out of every penny I can get, for something which is not my fault and still wants my retirement! Ohhhh shits getting deep now so I finally get that so called worked out. I want the US embassy I am told “Until I pay off every one I not leave the country.” So me and my family are flipping out, I am scared to death bad. I think my wife is working with her dad to have me killed for life and accident insurance so I say we go to beach I want to go to an area closer to the air port but I am told until I pay off I can’t leave. So I want the American embassy so wife is fighting me again mega bad this time, “Trust her dad he work out everything. You just trust him and me and pay off them people, everything going to be ok “ After that I am like, there is no more money to give. She’s like, “Give you retirement it be ok.” I say, “Hell no, I call embassy” We are in a restaurant in Pattaya with this going on, she throws the phone at me and I call tell them tell them everything I can. She’s standing out there yelling at me, to trust her dad, while I am trying to talk, they say stay there.

They get me out of there with a medical emergency flight home, they did. Back in the states messed up so bad and there’s been other guys she has done me wrong with before all this. From day one she was bad, but she was a good girl not a bar girl, a good girl with good education good family, yeah right. Any how I talk to her almost a year ago I am in love or I wouldn’t have been there just got married new baby and they have over 190k at this point. So I got to know in my heart is she helping her dad or is it just her dad. I have been staying away from him at all cost since that night and deal, haven’t been back to their town because don’t trust him or the cops there now. I just landed and she does some more weird stuff, she’s trying to get me to drive this raggy damm peace of shit from her aunts in BKK to Lampang for her dad to fix it up. I am like, “ I no can walk, you think I going to drive a car I not can even get in.” She bugs me all day and pressures me bad, this goes on the whole first 7 days we are in BKK fighting over me drive this damm car and I won’t so finally its back to the house in Lampang not the other two we have in Nakhon Sawan and there’s five other times she’s trying shit that’s not right.

She takes off again for 9 days to go to a party with her dad leaves me no wheels, no money, and no nothing. Just sit and wait while she goes to party with her dad it’s the second time she has done this and note I have never ever got to be alone with this girl any where more than three days maximum, her dad shows up she got too go back to work. I take the last of my money give it to her for her Dad to fix the company in lamping that was about close up. It was failing before we moved to Chang Mai so while I was there we used my American ideas and bam it takes off to the moon and then it’s time to go back to USA. She rides me around all day and doesn’t let me see my kid before I leave, its a messed up deal. I never got to be with my son when he was first born, her dad and mom had him when they tried to kill me she used that for an excuse. Then this time I was there for 11 days he is talking and understanding English she says, “No, he Thai kid,” so she hires a girl to take care of him. From morning to night, I don’t get to see or play with him all day, only see at night for dinner and bed time and same thing the whole 90 days I am there. So I am back here broke living in the street for real and then to a storage building. She’s got four plus million baht in just the one company bank account, won’t give me shit.

And now I complain because I find out about a Austrian guy she fooled around with and she lost a baby and a Texas guy and a few Thai guys and then she kept talking about some guy in Canada, New Zealand and somewhere else. I am pissed and I just find out there’s some guy in Singapore she wants to go travelling with, going to pay for her. I raise hell then there’s some guy in a band that’s a popular band there or used to be so she dumps me and is moving back to her killer dad with my son and is going to leave the baby there and go travel with this other guy, build his business for him. I am sitting here in the USA and I don’t know what to do, any body help me, any one knows a good lawyer? She did write me out a contract saying she will give me back 120k for the bogus marriage I was conned into, but she wants five years to pay me back and has not paid a dime yet. What can I do my life is ruined they are rich, she’s a scammer killer like her Dad.

[pseudolus]

Can you give us the jist of it?

[VocalNeal]

Where's Crepitas we need the quick version.

[bsnub]

Yes the jist. I am not wasting time on that.

[Necron99]

Nah, wayyy to over the top.

[Neverna]

Fiction based on what someone has read on different Thai based forums.

[Gerbil]

^ yeah, has to be.

[Dillinger]

That's longer than Slap's book

[baldrick]

she was a virgin with a daughter - maybe the second coming

[Kurgen]

any pics?

they speak a thousand words so 3 or 4 should cover it.

[withnallstoke]

What a load of bollocks.

Could have been written by one of our roundhouse specialists.

[pseudolus]

Smeg?

[Latindancer]

Fiction based on what someone has read on different Thai based forums.

Quite possibly. There are quite a few places where the story just doesn't add up.

[thaimeme]

Fiction based on what someone has read on different Thai based forums.

Quite possibly. There are quite a few places where the story just doesn't add up.

Seems as these types of fantastic tales/OPs are quite a common occurrence throughout the pages of TV - where you might not find such tomes anywhere else amongst Thai fora.

Has that draw and atmosphere for such personal drama.

[Iceman123]

^
Thanks for clarifying that for us Jeff

[david44]

Twas my autobigraphy in a previous egg sarnie?

[thaimeme]

^
Thanks for clarifying that for us Jeff

It surely isn't clear to Gerbil [OP], as he is finding this to be a novelty.

Therefore, worthy of reposting here.

[kingwilly]

Fuck off, Jeff.

But to eveyone else, It's awesome, I read every word.

I reckon it's Socal, and 100% real!

[Neverna]

Apparently it was written by one of our own members, bsnub. Why else would he respond like this to my innocuous comment in this thread?


Best Troll Ever? 04-08-2014 04:49 PM bsnub turd



When is the sequel, snubby?


.

[wasabi]

Best troll ever.
That geezer who made sure everybody stood up in the Temple at 6 pm

[Chittychangchang]

Chaing Mai connection for sure

[BaitongBoy]

^Not the Temple Ranger, Shirley?...

[wasabi]

Kingwilly at the moment thinks it's that Earl Grey tea that is taking the piss.

[kingwilly]

I surely do. I refuse to believe that even that washed up old moronic alcy would be stoopid enough to drink his own piss.

[neemo]

Is Scumpy still trolling TV?