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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    Sumocakewalk's Avatar
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    Why I are confusing

    Here's an example of how what should be a simple topic of conversation gets twisted into something altogether different in our home.

    On Saturday my wife informs me "I have to go Bangkok tomorrow".

    I respond "OK, thanks for letting me know. But why just the day before?" in a slightly annoyed tone. She works during the week and is only home on weekends, and when she has plans for a weekend activity, I typically find out at the last moment. I then ask "what are you planning on doing?".

    She responds "have to go to hospital for laser skin treatment. Have to get up early 4AM."

    I say "but why do you only tell me the day before you go?"

    She responds "I tell you long time ago."

    After a little more probing, I am reminded that she made an appointment about 6 months ago, and the hospital is so busy that June was the earliest they could take her.

    Skip to 6AM Sunday, and I wake up to find that she is still snoozing next to me. I nudge her awake and ask "what are you doing, I thought you are supposed to go to the hospital in Bangkok at 4AM?"

    She responds "no, I go tomorrow" and rolls over to sleep some more. So now I am thinking she must have meant she is going on Monday, not Sunday.

    Skip to 9AM, she has prepared breakfast for us as usual and afterwards appears to be getting ready to go somewhere. I ask what's up and she says "I getting ready for van to Bangkok".

    So now I am getting a little more annoyed and wondering where this is all leading to. More probing ensues, from which I find out the actual plan. Today she is going on the van to Bangkok and will stay overnight at her sister's house. Then on Monday, she will get up at 4AM to go to the hospital. Sheeeesh!

    Anyone have similar experiences in trying to get a straight answer from your significant other here?

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sumocakewalk
    Anyone have similar experiences in trying to get a straight answer from your significant other here?
    I thought it was just mine so I never mentioned it.

  3. #3
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sumocakewalk View Post

    Anyone have similar experiences in trying to get a straight answer from your significant other here?


    Only when she is cheating on me.....

  4. #4
    Philippine Expat Davis Knowlton's Avatar
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    Yes. Plans constantly change at the last minute. Drives me nuts, but I've learned to ignore it. Not much choice - not worth making an issue of it. I'm big into harmony.

  5. #5
    POTUS HOCUS
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    It comes free in LOS

    Quote Originally Posted by Sumocakewalk View Post
    Here's an example of how what should be a simple topic of conversation gets twisted into something altogether different in our home.

    On Saturday my wife informs me "I have to go Bangkok tomorrow".

    I respond "OK, thanks for letting me know. But why just the day before?" in a slightly annoyed tone. She works during the week and is only home on weekends, and when she has plans for a weekend activity, I typically find out at the last moment. I then ask "what are you planning on doing?".

    She responds "have to go to hospital for laser skin treatment. Have to get up early 4AM."

    I say "but why do you only tell me the day before you go?"

    She responds "I tell you long time ago."

    After a little more probing, I am reminded that she made an appointment about 6 months ago, and the hospital is so busy that June was the earliest they could take her.

    Skip to 6AM Sunday, and I wake up to find that she is still snoozing next to me. I nudge her awake and ask "what are you doing, I thought you are supposed to go to the hospital in Bangkok at 4AM?"

    She responds "no, I go tomorrow" and rolls over to sleep some more. So now I am thinking she must have meant she is going on Monday, not Sunday.

    Skip to 9AM, she has prepared breakfast for us as usual and afterwards appears to be getting ready to go somewhere. I ask what's up and she says "I getting ready for van to Bangkok".

    So now I am getting a little more annoyed and wondering where this is all leading to. More probing ensues, from which I find out the actual plan. Today she is going on the van to Bangkok and will stay overnight at her sister's house. Then on Monday, she will get up at 4AM to go to the hospital. Sheeeesh!

    Anyone have similar experiences in trying to get a straight answer from your significant other here?
    Yes forward planning and sharing dates is not their strong point.
    I was given some excellent advice in last century during the "hot and bothered early days seting up work home etc"

    An old hand wise American told me you see odd things counter intuitive counting change 10 times,driving wrong way in unlit tricks people walking backwards many strange and counter intuitive actions.

    If you think about why locals behave as they do you will waste time and get a headache have a beer johnny and relax,I've never looked back.

    The females I have encountered on 3 continents while delighful all a mystery,I belive like Islam,the tides and insanity it is the Thelemic pulse of the moon that has a bearing again I am no expert but however mindless dumb or different to myself or my culture I can usually understand what blokes do.

    If I was brave enough to attempt to do a thsesi on feminin psychology I'd put Thai women in the advanced section perhaps not for those with learning difficulties,of course their own psyche has been formed in symbiosis with the honest hard working virtuous Buddhist males all around them
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  6. #6
    Banned

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    Never fails, "I told you already..." Yea sure you did. I simply have resolved never to listen to women, they have their own sense of truth.

    Usually when pressed they get all puffed up and start the argument over a simple question. Now when that happens I just get in the truck and leave for the day. ends that discussion quick!

  7. #7
    Suspended from News & Speakers Corner

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    My missus has a penchant for tying the simplest things into a completely untie-able knot in an instant, it boggles the mind..

  8. #8
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    Yes, mine is similar. Sometimes when I ask her a direct question, I simply cannot pin her down to the answer.
    And other times she tells me something (or asks a question) and there is simply not enough information....and this is taking into account the language barrier.

  9. #9
    Member Drainpipe's Avatar
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    My wife suddenly asks me a question about something she has been thinking about

    No intro, no preamble, no clues

    very amusing

  10. #10
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltnt View Post
    Never fails, "I told you already..." Yea sure you did. I simply have resolved never to listen to women, they have their own sense of truth.

    Usually when pressed they get all puffed up and start the argument over a simple question. Now when that happens I just get in the truck and leave for the day. ends that discussion quick!
    Main problem in my household is the other way round. I travel a fair bit, and give her lots of notice. After a number of "You did not tell me" - "Yes I did tell you, and three times already" "no you did not" - we worked out a solution. A wall calander where trips (by either of us) are marked on it.

    In general we try to find solutions to problem areas. Misunderstandings over expenditure was a big one. The solution was a book where all expenses are recorded (however "small") - now she sees and knows exactly where the money goes - she is both quieter - and a lot more understanding of how regular small amounts quickly amass to a fairly big total.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
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    Building a house about 40k from here,first time there i ask what does that sign say,
    Her respone thats the name of the village,i know that what is the. name of the village.
    Why you need to know that!!!

  12. #12
    I am in Jail
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    Thanks, fellas, thanks a ton, and there I was fretting that only mine got dropped at birth...

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sumocakewalk View Post
    Here's an example of how what should be a simple topic of conversation gets twisted into something altogether different in our home.

    On Saturday my wife informs me "I have to go Bangkok tomorrow".

    I respond "OK, thanks for letting me know. But why just the day before?" in a slightly annoyed tone. She works during the week and is only home on weekends, and when she has plans for a weekend activity, I typically find out at the last moment. I then ask "what are you planning on doing?".

    She responds "have to go to hospital for laser skin treatment. Have to get up early 4AM."

    I say "but why do you only tell me the day before you go?"

    She responds "I tell you long time ago."

    After a little more probing, I am reminded that she made an appointment about 6 months ago, and the hospital is so busy that June was the earliest they could take her.

    Skip to 6AM Sunday, and I wake up to find that she is still snoozing next to me. I nudge her awake and ask "what are you doing, I thought you are supposed to go to the hospital in Bangkok at 4AM?"

    She responds "no, I go tomorrow" and rolls over to sleep some more. So now I am thinking she must have meant she is going on Monday, not Sunday.

    Skip to 9AM, she has prepared breakfast for us as usual and afterwards appears to be getting ready to go somewhere. I ask what's up and she says "I getting ready for van to Bangkok".

    So now I am getting a little more annoyed and wondering where this is all leading to. More probing ensues, from which I find out the actual plan. Today she is going on the van to Bangkok and will stay overnight at her sister's house. Then on Monday, she will get up at 4AM to go to the hospital. Sheeeesh!

    Anyone have similar experiences in trying to get a straight answer from your significant other here?

    Oh yes, many a time !


    Sometime's my brain question's the facts but I override all decent thought processes and carry on regardless !

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
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    I think it's partly due to the fact that they are women, who converse a lot. We are expected to chat back and forth and ask the various details.....only we are men who impart PACKETS of information to each other, with the big picture and various details of the smaller pics thrown in.

    Of course chatting back and forth is what Thai people generally do....ever notice that when you ask her to ask a simple question of someone in Thai, she ends up talking back and forth to them for 10 minutes, while you are wondering what the hell they are going on about ?

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post

    Of course chatting back and forth is what Thai people generally do....ever notice that when you ask her to ask a simple question of someone in Thai, she ends up talking back and forth to them for 10 minutes, while you are wondering what the hell they are going on about ?

    yes ,

    " Darling can you ask the people over there, where the office is to renew my driving licence ?",
    (10 minute wait ) ,

    the truck window goes up (valves) , she looks at me and says " Did you get that because I didn't ?"

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Phone calls. My missus thinks it's ignorant to tell people, when she's busy, that she'll phone them back. She'll finished the conversation even though one of the kids may be in distress. She's oblivious to everything around her once she's on the phone.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    Phone calls. My missus thinks it's ignorant to tell people, when she's busy, that she'll phone them back. She'll finished the conversation even though one of the kids may be in distress. She's oblivious to everything around her once she's on the phone.
    Yes, exactly. Right in the middle of a big family dinner would be a good example. Then tell me I am nuts for saying anything.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drainpipe View Post
    My wife suddenly asks me a question about something she has been thinking about

    No intro, no preamble, no clues

    very amusing
    Mrs BLD is like that, just blurts out the shit going on in her melon appropos to nothing, does my head in every time that.

  19. #19
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    Yeah bld i dont know how many times a day i say wtf are you talking about
    Then i grab another can and wait for the repeat

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    I once heard it described as "Same Planet Different Worlds" .

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobo746 View Post
    Yeah bld i dont know how many times a day i say wtf are you talking about
    Ha ha....yes....there is that too. Then I tell her it would be nice to know the subject she is talking about. Is it animal, vegetable or mineral ??
    "Are you talking about the moon ?" I say. "Just give me some idea first".

    My wife was once a science teacher, too.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post

    A wall calander where trips (by either of us) are marked on it.
    I think I am going to take up your suggestion on that. I usually try to note activities and put them on my Google calendar, but this one got by me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I think it's partly due to the fact that they are women, who converse a lot. We are expected to chat back and forth and ask the various details.....
    In my case with the missus I usually get "why you ask so many questions?" as a response. One day in a rare conversation that went beyond a few syllables, she said something about "Thai people always like to answer questions" and I almost choked on my noodles. Now I frequently bring that quote up when I get chastised for asking too many questions.

  23. #23
    Member Drainpipe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg
    In general we try to find solutions to problem areas. Misunderstandings over expenditure was a big one. The solution was a book where all expenses are recorded (however "small")
    great idea, must try it

  24. #24
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    Mine never go anywhere without asking at least a week before.

    I call this respect and fee pity for anyone who is not able to tame his wife this way !

  25. #25
    Utopian Expat
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    I find after 12 year's of married life the best response when you sense another boggling conversation imminently looming is to smile, nod and grunt.
    I swear her English is getting worse or my patience less as time goes by.
    CCC

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