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  1. #1
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Tooths and that.

    Is it a sign of good health if you can grip a wobbly tooth with the fingers, rotate, push and pull it, hear a squishing sound, sniff the fingers and they smell like a horrible stenchy smell?

    And the cat stops giving you the kiss in the morning.

    And the ravens gather on the telephone wire outside the bedroom window?

    And bleach doesn't get the stench off the fingers.

    And monitor lizards leg it in the opposite direction.

    And you use the hand that didn't touch the touth to wank with.

    And people text instead of smelling your breath over the phone.

    And you have to change the keyboard in the morning.

    And the mouse.

  2. #2
    Philippine Expat Davis Knowlton's Avatar
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    scurvy

  3. #3
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton
    scurvy
    I may be English but i'm not a ferking pirate.

    Can we shake hands on that?

  4. #4
    I am in Jail

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    Anyone called you Pee Bop yet?

    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Is it a sign of good health if you can grip a wobbly tooth with the fingers, rotate, push and pull it, hear a squishing sound, sniff the fingers and they smell like a horrible stenchy smell?

    And the cat stops giving you the kiss in the morning.

    And the ravens gather on the telephone wire outside the bedroom window?

    And bleach doesn't get the stench off the fingers.

    And monitor lizards leg it in the opposite direction.

    And you use the hand that didn't touch the touth to wank with.

    And people text instead of smelling your breath over the phone.

    And you have to change the keyboard in the morning.

    And the mouse.

  5. #5
    Banned

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    The Tooth Fairy still leaves surprises under your pillow....
    Even if the exchange is rotting and fetid.

  6. #6
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Oh youse lot can take the piss

    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    The Tooth Fairy still leaves surprises under your pillow.... Even if the exchange is rotting and fetid.
    A bit like an eye for an eye?


    (Davis - any chance of borrowing your tooth maid and/or surgeon?)

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton
    scurvy
    I may be English but i'm not a ferking pirate.

    Can we shake hands on that?


    Have you washed your hands?

  8. #8
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    ^ I washed the diseased one on its own.

    The clean one pointed the water, sprayed the soap, held up the "unclean" placard, and generally sort of pointed in the opposite direction.

  9. #9
    Lord of Swine
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    It sounds poof.
    I think you got the aids.

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    It sounds poof.
    Nowt poof about having a gob that smells like somebodys arse.



    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    I think you got the aids.
    I have a virgin bottom.


























    Available for a monetary sum that would cover a dentists extraction fee, a Catholic priests excorcism fee, and a fishing net menders fee to get the ringhole back to normal.

  11. #11
    I am in Jail

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    you may have a virgin botty but did the condom snap on your last visit to the bar

  12. #12
    POTUS HOCUS
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    so stokearse what the frogs call dentures?

  13. #13
    R.I.P.
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    One day i woke up and a little cat head with body attached was lying in the open palm of my hand, fast asleep and purring.

    That day made me feel happy. He was just so relaxed. I stayed awake and not moving for about 15 minutes.

    Then of course he went back to being the bastard that he was. I think he felt a wee bit embarassed to have been caught being nice.

  14. #14
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    Old age creeps up slowly.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waid
    Old age creeps up slowly.
    Too much of the "land clearing" in you youth can have unexpected consequences in later life.

    Anybody of stronger spine would laugh at any inference to a rotting denture. Spit the offending molar at them and ask for yet another glass of spirit.

  16. #16
    Pedantic bastard
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    Get thee to the dentist withnall - sounds like an abcessed tooth- if untreated the infection has a good chance of spreading....

  17. #17
    R.I.P.
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    And then you go mad.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
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    too late

  19. #19
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.


    Matthew 18:9



    Just after my last post, i decided to do a self extraction. I've pulled one of my own teeth before, so i repeated what i had previously done.


    I wetted a piece of cotton string about 2 feet long and twisted it together to make it stronger.
    Then i wrapped it around the tooth, tying a knot after each wrap around.
    It was a tough tooth to reach - the very back one on the lower jaw.
    I was concerned about the four prongs on the tooth, but the pain was driving me mad.


    1...........
    2...........








    3..........


    Swift jerk upwards, sharp stab of pain, gushing of gum blood, and instant relief.


    A chunk of gum left on one of the tooth prongs caused about 20 minutes of bleeding, so i continually rinsed with salt water until it stopped, then went to bed.


    I saved the tooth with the string wrapped around it - might take a photo later and post it up.


    Bear Grylls is a poof.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    So..........

    how much did the tooth fairy bring ye?

  21. #21
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by palexxxx
    how much did the tooth fairy bring ye?
    She left a note suggesting i use the contents of the bathroom sink to make a black pudding.

  22. #22
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    my last wisdom tooth cost 600 baht to be removed in febuary at a good dental clinic

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat
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    In Australia to remove wisdom teeth, you get a general anaesthetic in a hospital.

    They must be poof.

  24. #24
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    my last wisdom tooth cost 600 baht to be removed in febuary at a good dental clinic
    At 10 o'clock last night i would willingly have paid ten grand to have it removed.
    I was going to go today, but i was at my wits end last night.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    You musn't have many teeth left at this rate.



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