^ you just aren't doing it the right way
Pepsi Max Lime is my new addiction. An excellent sugar-free drink.
It's not about the mess it's about the journey
I had this bird buying.me pints all.night a couple of weeks back, I reckon she was trying to get me drunk so she could rape me.
Anyhow, her plan backfired.
As I was going down for the scratch and sniff test I felt this overwhelming urge to vomit.
Whether it was the 5 pints of larger, 5 pints of bitter and the two viagra I had popped or the smell of her tucked in minge I couldn't say.
I made my excuse and rushed to her toilet but wasn't quick enough and sprayed out the technicolor yawn through.my fingers, luckily I caught most of it in my hand as I reached the porcelain heaven.
The remaining belly full of beer followed swiftly after.
I was suddenly faced with a dilemma, no not nurse Gladys stretched at 10 to 2 in her bed, it was the irresistible urge to shit.
Puke or shit, tough call.
Fortunately the sink was next to the porcelain heaven and I was able to unleash hell at my pleasure.
"Better out than in" is the old saying that springs to mind.
Not in nurse Gladys case naturally.
Shalom
Did you fish out the blue jumpstarters?
Only you're probably not supposed to shove them up yer arse...
...or your date might find them!
Overdose on two blue pills…? Okaaaaaay.
I hope this is the lass sporting the primo airbags in the Chitty Chitty rag-top. She looked like a reet keen yin.
On a double shot of V caffeine tonight to recompose myself from yesterday's Queens Birthday 1 day only royal reprieve from Sober October
The kevlar bulletproof Salomon Wings Pro 2 are built for trail bashing. Not soft and forgiving like my New Balance numbers, but firm and purposeful
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