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  1. #6276
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    A case for TDCSI me thinks.
    You have let yourself down
    Pillow bitten and blankets are brown

    Too much chilli in Dilli ?
    Or a one night with Willy ?

    Oh Reggie; don't take your love to town

  2. #6277
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    Reg Dingle's Avatar
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    ^ I want a pint of what you 2 are on

  3. #6278
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    Meths

  4. #6279
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Tbf it happens to the best of us
    Well then I am thankful I am not in the "Best of us" crowd because I have never pissed or shat the bed as an adult, even when absolutely lit up staggering drunk.

  5. #6280
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    ^ you just aren't doing it the right way

  6. #6281
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    Pepsi Max Lime is my new addiction. An excellent sugar-free drink.

  7. #6282
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jools View Post
    Pepsi Max Lime is my new addiction. An excellent sugar-free drink.
    How does it mix with SangSom?

  8. #6283
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    Well then I am thankful I am not in the "Best of us" crowd because I have never pissed or shat the bed as an adult, even when absolutely lit up staggering drunk.
    You need a night on the piss with a few of the members on here, they'll show you how it's done.

  9. #6284
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    You need a night on the piss with a few of the members on here, they'll show you how it's done.


    Ya know Chitty, there are things we all aspire to achieve, waking up to a bed mess is not one of them.

    We haven't heard from Dil. Maybe he is out shopping for a new mattress and a plastic safety liner.

  10. #6285
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    Ya know Chitty, there are things we all aspire to achieve, waking up to a bed mess is not one of them.
    in the UK its not referred to as an aspiration, its a bi-product.

  11. #6286
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Tbf it happens to the best of us and for some on here it's nightly occurrence
    Can always tell the lads you pulled Amber Heard at the taxi rank.

  12. #6287
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    Ya know Chitty, there are things we all aspire to achieve, waking up to a bed mess is not one of them.
    It's not about the mess it's about the journey

    I had this bird buying.me pints all.night a couple of weeks back, I reckon she was trying to get me drunk so she could rape me.

    Anyhow, her plan backfired.

    As I was going down for the scratch and sniff test I felt this overwhelming urge to vomit.
    Whether it was the 5 pints of larger, 5 pints of bitter and the two viagra I had popped or the smell of her tucked in minge I couldn't say.

    I made my excuse and rushed to her toilet but wasn't quick enough and sprayed out the technicolor yawn through.my fingers, luckily I caught most of it in my hand as I reached the porcelain heaven.
    The remaining belly full of beer followed swiftly after.
    I was suddenly faced with a dilemma, no not nurse Gladys stretched at 10 to 2 in her bed, it was the irresistible urge to shit.
    Puke or shit, tough call.
    Fortunately the sink was next to the porcelain heaven and I was able to unleash hell at my pleasure.

    "Better out than in" is the old saying that springs to mind.

    Not in nurse Gladys case naturally.
    Shalom

  13. #6288
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    It's not about the mess it's about the journey

    I had this bird buying.me pints all.night a couple of weeks back, I reckon she was trying to get me drunk so she could rape me.

    Anyhow, her plan backfired.

    As I was going down for the scratch and sniff test I felt this overwhelming urge to vomit.
    Whether it was the 5 pints of larger, 5 pints of bitter and the two viagra I had popped or the smell of her tucked in minge I couldn't say.

    I made my excuse and rushed to her toilet but wasn't quick enough and sprayed out the technicolor yawn through.my fingers, luckily I caught most of it in my hand as I reached the porcelain heaven.
    The remaining belly full of beer followed swiftly after.
    I was suddenly faced with a dilemma, no not nurse Gladys stretched at 10 to 2 in her bed, it was the irresistible urge to shit.
    Puke or shit, tough call.
    Fortunately the sink was next to the porcelain heaven and I was able to unleash hell at my pleasure.

    "Better out than in" is the old saying that springs to mind.

    Not in nurse Gladys case naturally.

    Charming. Did she stay after witnessing all that?

  14. #6289
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrWilly View Post
    Charming. Did she stay after witnessing all that?
    Who said she witnessed it? Still as keen as mustard.
    However she may well have found some lumpy bits on her tooth brush in the morning.

  15. #6290
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    Did you fish out the blue jumpstarters?

  16. #6291
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    Did you fish out the blue jumpstarters?
    Naturally, it was like the toilet scene from Trainspotting

  17. #6292
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    Only you're probably not supposed to shove them up yer arse...

    ...or your date might find them!

  18. #6293
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    dirk diggler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    the two viagra I had popped
    2??? WTF is wrong with you?

  19. #6294
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    2??? WTF is wrong with you?
    He is full of it

  20. #6295
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    2??? WTF is wrong with you?
    Wasn't taking any chances.
    I reckon it was the pills that made me sick, a minor overdose.
    The booze is normally no problem.

  21. #6296
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    Only you're probably not supposed to shove them up yer arse...

    ...or your date might find them!


    For all the good they did I might as well shoved them up my arse

  22. #6297
    Thailand Expat
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    Overdose on two blue pills…? Okaaaaaay.

  23. #6298
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Wasn't taking any chances.
    I reckon it was the pills that made me sick, a minor overdose.
    The booze is normally no problem.
    So, assvomiting all over the bog, chundering all over the sink, and pissing out the velux?

  24. #6299
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    So, assvomiting all over the bog, chundering all over the sink, and pissing out the velux?
    Yeah, and she's still keen as mustard

  25. #6300
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Yeah, and she's still keen as mustard
    I hope this is the lass sporting the primo airbags in the Chitty Chitty rag-top. She looked like a reet keen yin.


    On a double shot of V caffeine tonight to recompose myself from yesterday's Queens Birthday 1 day only royal reprieve from Sober October

    What are you drinking today?-img_20221004_192524-jpg

    The kevlar bulletproof Salomon Wings Pro 2 are built for trail bashing. Not soft and forgiving like my New Balance numbers, but firm and purposeful

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