Thread: Tis My Christmas story

So My Daughter informs Me that Her new male friend is visiting today. No worries he has got to be better than those thai Twats She dated in the U.K .
Thai pricks that gave their money to their Mums rather than spend it on Her. So She is cleaning the Family home,housework,a dirty word to Her to impress it. Now He apparently speaks English,so what I recall when a teen I hated talking to Dads, the Mothers where just a little less painful.
So why would I want to converse with a Chinese suitor from Bangkok who is so piss poor he needs to catch the train to Aranyparathet. Surely I expect a Mercedes to pull up outside The family home,being Hi So Bangkok Chinky.
What is he after,Her British passport?

Rather you than me, mate... You know Socal is in Thailand at the moment...

He ain't a Chinky is he?

no...

No Chance then.

Can he cook ? ,

Don't know yet Me wee wife has chased Me upstairs, to avoid losing face. Got to impress the Chinky by hiding Me. That says a lot,.

Can you take a picture of him please.

Also, I suggest walking down the stairs wearing a UDD T-shirt then see his reaction.

Does his dad own a beer company?

Still awaiting his arrival, Jesus I never knew I was that scarey,last time The Family hid Me upstairs was when the chief of police turned up.For a bribe of course.

Have you decided how much the sin sot will be?

Still not allowed down stairs,He is here but sin sot,all depends if He is as stupid as a Farang on his first holiday in Pattaya. Loads of Money,for a Daughter with British passport,having lived with other boy in Hammersmith London long time before,and the other one before. Pull a stupid Farang We try and coach Her,but no She wants Asian. Oh we'll. I am going downstairs to now wearing My Pattaya T shirt to meet him.

^report and pics? Anything like this:



Or more like this:



Or did she bring home an Asian meterosexual?

Just Met the Lad,he is from South Korea. I was very polite. Fuckn he'll he is already spending the night in Her ROOM. Bloody backpackers.

What does 'Her room' mean? We might have to take action here!!!

Originally Posted by wasabi

Just Met the Lad,he is from South Korea.

That's a relief. Miles better than having a chinky son in law.

Yes they all look the same, [at][at][at][at] didn't Waie Me,had to show him how to Waie,ignorant South Koreans.
I new He was a loser,not turning up in a Mercedes,but not to worry,some dumb Brit will pay the Sin Sot one day.
I know you guys are thinking this is another one of My Tarloks (jokes) but its pay back time by God for My naughty past. This is the real shit I have to live with.

Drug the little bastard, tie him up, I'll be around in the morning with the toolset - we'll teach the little fuker not to show respect!!!



Play the tune, let him know what's coming; tell him to call you Mr Blonde...

His night is already disturbed,Our Son started coughing loudly,awoke everyone to get his U.K fix Cowpole,the shite U.k? Doctors prescribe to kids. Now wait for it I am going to listen to your release Bettyboo on full volume at 1am . Welcome N. Korea backpacker,listen to Bettys Xmas message.

Originally Posted by wasabi

Our Son started coughing loudly,awoke everyone to get his U.K fix Cowpole,the shite U.k? Doctors prescribe to kids.

Sara make something similar here for kids.

Poison him!

He is staying in your daughters room.

Is she in there?

Is it just common practice if coming to stay to be roomed with your daughter?

That is a liberal approach to take. I presume you have hidden cameras in there to make sure he keeps his hands to himself.

Calpol.....

Too bad he's not Thai, sin sot would be a tiny farang revenge for some!!

Originally Posted by wasabi

U.K fix Cowpole,the shite U.k? Doctors prescribe to kids.

Think you mean Kalpol. Pink coloured stuff.

Maybe pink condoms should be prescribed for the prosprective suitor and your daughter?

In the evening I was relaxing in My very own sofa chair UPSTAIRS in A Teak house listening through head phones to music . My chair started to shake violently ,my glass was shaking and the liquid was caught up in a heavy storm. The house was set to be rocked off of its foundations.
Within seconds ones brain has to decide what to do.
Here are my thoughts rushing through My mind. Which one would you choose?
First and foremost,was this a BOXING day earthquake. Get out of house fast.
Second, SPIRIT all My mocking their belief in Spirits,this was proof that a spirit ( suicide killer spirit ) was going to throttle Me.
Third, a wild elephant was using the side of the house to scratch his back.
Fourth,that Xanax I had tried for the first time ever in My life was playing tricks with My senses.

Which one did you choose?

Answer : The epicentre measuring 5.5 on the Riechter scale was right at the CENTRE of our Daughters room.