Thread: Welcome to my colonoscopy 2

Originally Posted by taxexile

Spill da beans.

OK, there's not many people I've shared this with.

A good few years back, I had this crazy Thai girlfriend who took umbridge to me throwing all of her clothes outside my condo and telling her to get out.

So she picked up a steak knife from the side and started going nuts in the middle of the room,circling her upperbody with knife in hand, but not lunging.

Anyhow I locked myself in the bathroom, as you do and waited for her to calm down. I ventured out twice and ran back in twice, then something in my head said to me whilst in the bathroom
" are you a man or a mouse, go and take the knife off her"

So I went out put my arms out to grab her arms and felt this sharp pain on my left side. Then she chucks the knife off the balcony and is screaming sorry.

Anyway, I just left it that night and woke in the morning to claret everywhere, it had stopped bleeding though, but a friend said it looked infected so I went down to Samitivej i think it was. They wanted a small fortune to even look at it there.

So I went with the recommendation of the nutter to the Police Hospital, where I had students poking there fingers in the wound,I'm quite ticklish there too, although I was crying in pain after the 20th student checking for internal bleeding and finally the finger up the ass, even though I'd told them I'd had a shit and there was no blood.

Maybe I shuld have gone Bumrungrad

Well done lad. You may sit down now...

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Originally Posted by taxexile

Spill da beans.

Maybe I shuld have gone Bumrungrad

They would have both shafted and reamed you there......

I recall Tax Exile's piece a couple of years ago about skin cancer, and I feel that reports like that are a real wake-up call.

It's difficult though to write about these medical issues while they are still ongoing.

What a shock Dirty Dog's cancer death was to all of us. We won't know what hospital experiences he went through and the treatments and palliative care he received.

^Yep. Some of them just show up...and it's already too late. I've had two very close friends die in the past year from pancreatic cancer. Both were Navy SEALS, both in their early 50's. Full medical check-ups all the time they were on active status, both in fantastic shape - I mean like run ten miles, then swim open ocean ten miles shape. And boom - one day just started puking uncontrollably and there it was - full fucking blown - zero chance of survival. One does well to get the check-ups and catch the ones early that can be controlled. Both were given less than six months - one made it a year - the other - one of the longest surviving pancreatic cancer patients in California - made 37 months. RIPx2.

Originally Posted by taxexile

added 3500 to the bill.

that also is not a bad price, did it include the nursing services and food?

a room at bumrungrad is about 5K all in.

Yes it did. The actual room cost 2200 and was half way up the choice of room types available. It's listed as standard but they said it was standard deluxe.

Here is the bill breakdown :




They did charge me 135 baht for food. The only thing I was given was hot rice water ( not even gruel ) with some flavouring sachets. No solids. Plus I got through about ten bottles of water.

At other hospitals I've tried the ' home medicine ' often includes paracetamol at an inflated price so you have to waste time getting that item removed. At least they don't try that at the Mayo.

The room also had a private balcony and a bit of a view.

Being an American all I can say is what a deal...

Originally Posted by aging one

Being an American all I can say is what a deal...

Medical tourism is big in this part of the world. Many of the docs are internationally board certified, and know their shit, and the package (doc, surgery, support) is a fraction of the cost elsewhere.

Do your homework properly, and you can get a jem of a deal.

Downside is, and this is a big downside, if the doc DOES fuck up, your chances of getting settlement (and this is particularly specific for Thailand) are zero to none.

You pays your money, and you take yoyr choice.

Originally Posted by The Ghost Of The Moog

And I feel that in Asia, these things slip between the cracks

An appropriate turn of phrase for a colonoscopy

Originally Posted by xanax

Drinking the vile laxative

Thats what put me off .

No problem about taking the camera up my spout.

Got as far as holding the laxative packet the night before to open it , but didn't fancy the shits all night, and then another dose the following morning.

Still havn't had the colonoscopy, my anal bleeding was down to piles, which were banded, but never really heal proper.

Knowing the American propensity for litigation, I'm surprised the Mayo Clinic has not sued the ass (sorry Bangyai) off of this Mayo Hospital.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Bumgunrad

Thats where you would go for a colonoscopy.

Originally Posted by sabang

Knowing the American propensity for litigation, I'm surprised the Mayo Clinic has not sued the ass (sorry Bangyai) off of this Mayo Hospital.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Bumgunrad

Thats where you would go for a colonoscopy.

Probably the best hospital in Bangkok aside from Samitivej.

The first full colonosophy was too traumatic by far, especially if you have never been penetrated before. This tube up inside you, looping the loop through your guts.

The second one, I opted for a virtual colonosophy, where carbon dioxide is puffed up your rectum and then you are put through the scan. If all clear, then you do not need the full monty.

Had that twice ( every 6 years) and its bearable.

The worst part of my colonoscopy was afterwards waiting to pay the bill, when I was doubled over in pain from cramps, my bugle sounding off at full volume. Hope I never see those other people who were seated nearby again.

Originally Posted by misskit

The worst part of my colonoscopy was afterwards waiting to pay the bill, when I was doubled over in pain from cramps, my bugle sounding off at full volume. Hope I never see those other people who were seated nearby again.

Was it wet?

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Wasn't too bad other than shittin' by brains out the night before.

This explains much, too bad it didn't grow back!

Hopefully I have another 20 years before I have to do that shit.

Originally Posted by misskit

The worst part of my colonoscopy was afterwards waiting to pay the bill, .

That was the worst part for me. I've had more painful medical procedures so the colonoscopy was no big deal. But the bill.....even though reasonable, still hurt to someone on a low monthly budget like myself.

If by some misfortune you do have a polyps its no big deal to remove it if you get it early.

Oh dear BY excuse my late reply, it's taken a while to dry my eyes after reading your exploits here today.

So glad it's all ok in the end mate.

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Originally Posted by xanax

Had three no real need to get admitted to hospital. Drinking the vile laxative and not eating for a couple of days is the worst.

Had one and the same - not admitted to hospital. Outpatient only. Wasn't too bad other than shittin' by brains out the night before.

Friday ... 21 August 2015 ... A day I'm not looking forward to. Nor the day before drinking the special elixir or whatever it is. Should take 2-3 hours from entry to release.

i had one in bumrungrad in june this year.

there is nothing at all to worry about, the powerful laxatives they give you the night before are just that, powerful laxatives. you empty yourself over a period of 2 hours, there are no embarrassing accidents so long as you stay home or close to a toilet.

when you go to the hospital the next day for the procedure, they will give you more stuff to drink ( a lot more stuff, about 3 litres), this is drunk over a 90 minute period after which you soon start releasing it, it fairly squirts out, and keeps squirting out until it is as clear as a mountain stream, a nurse will follow you into the toilet to check on the colour and when it is clear you will be sent through for the procedure.

the room where they do it looks a bit like an s&m dungeon, lots of long coiled black rubber tubes, chrome nozzles and rubber sheeting adorn the place along with masses of hi tech video recording equipment and massive screens, lights gently flash and machines beep, the docs come in introduce themselves and then give you an iv hit of sedative that within 10 seconds sends you off to sleep in the most pleasant manner imaginable, (one can understand the addictive nature of heroin if it is anything like that) and then you wake up 3 hours later and it is all over.

as others have said, paying the bill is the worst part of the whole thing.

regular stool tests for blood and/or 3 or 5 yearly colonoscopies for all over 50 should be encouraged, then if anything malignant is discovered it should be early stage and curable.

good luck.

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Originally Posted by xanax

Had three no real need to get admitted to hospital. Drinking the vile laxative and not eating for a couple of days is the worst.

Had one and the same - not admitted to hospital. Outpatient only. Wasn't too bad other than shittin' by brains out the night before.

Friday ... 21 August 2015 ... A day I'm not looking forward to. Nor the day before drinking the special elixir or whatever it is. Should take 2-3 hours from entry to release.

Had one in Oz 5 or 6 months ago. Was put under. Felt, and remember nothing, all good.

Best of luck SK.

Went to the hospital after a boil had burst to make sure it was good to go and ended up with a colonoscopy appointment. Had to go in yesterday to have a nurse explain the procedure.

It's being done at the Naval Hospital so there won't be any cost.

Must admit I hate this. Mostly because so many times I've heard stories about retirees going in for what is supposed to be a simple procedure and not coming out alive.