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  1. #1
    I am in Jail
    Camel Toe's Avatar
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    How tuff was growing up for you?

    Where I grew up I never knew a boy who ever met his dad. Most of the crew would call their mom by her first name. As if she were a nanny or a neighbor.

    I only knew Christmas lights from magazines. They didn't sell diapers at the super market, nor milk. Never saw a toy store either. We'd make our toys by hand out of lead pipes and match heads and shit like that.

    Walking to school we had to step over dead bodies. Not all of them were dead tho. Some were just drunks. I'd often kick them in the nuts and they'd moan a little. I developed a passion for that.

    We murdered a teacher once because he had a queer name .. Pierce LeFlair.

    We used to steal large chunks of liver from the school cafeteria. We'd roll it up and stuff it into one of those small milk cartons and shag it in the girl's restroom, or in the janitor's closet with the door open. No one would dream of reporting us. Shit, we'd douse snitches with gasoline, light 'em up, tie them to the bumper of my car and drive off with them ablaze.

    Nobody fucked with me. With a name like Camel Toe you have to defend your honor 24/7. It wasn't easy being a bad ass neighborhood legend with a funny name.

    How tuff was it for you?

  2. #2
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camel Toe
    How tuff was it for you?
    learning to spell was a frightening experience - I can see that you did not have to experience the soul destroying , mind warping , ballbag embiggening , sanity threatening hiccup in your educational progress as a young'un

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat

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    You must be black then?

  4. #4
    I am in Jail
    Camel Toe's Avatar
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    learning to spell was a frightening experience
    Were you lyxdexic?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
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    I'd say in comparison I had an uneventful childhood, and lived in a dandy neighbourhood.

  6. #6
    Tax Consultant
    Thormaturge's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    aging one's Avatar
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    Rough growing up in the middle of the desert. But at least we had little league.


  8. #8
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camel Toe
    Where I grew up I never knew a boy who ever met his dad.
    I never met a another boy, I only knew my family and tutors.
    It was really tough getting anything done properly.
    The cook was lazy and the butler was too slow.
    All the gamekeepers were incompetent at catching poachers and at controlling beaters during a shoot.
    The hound master was reasonable but had to be watched or he would start drinking again.
    Both chauffeurs were to old and often got lost but they did keep the Bentleys spotless.

  9. #9
    Knows fok all
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    I remember one day when the driver didn't turn up and I had to get a taxi to school.

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
    Camel Toe's Avatar
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    I developed a taste for shitty food, and that's no joke.

  11. #11
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    ^ ^
    That must have been horrifying.
    Taxis always smell of working class vomit
    Absolutely disgusting.

  12. #12
    En route
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    I remember one day when the driver didn't turn up and I had to get a taxi to school.
    Shocking state of affairs.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
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    When I was growing up, if I didn't have a hard on, on Christmas morning, I had fook all to play with!

  14. #14
    Pedantic bastard
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    Thinking back, I can remember at least a dozen times when my breakfast toast was slightly burned. Like wtf eh??

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
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    We were so poor, we grew our own potatoes and made chips from them.

  16. #16
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    because we were so poor and had no land to grow potatoes , we had to grow them in our belly button lint

  17. #17
    R.I.P
    Mr Lick's Avatar
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    We had frost on the inside of our windows when i were a lad, couldn't afford to buy a can of de-icer till i turned 45.

    Supermarket? Supermarket? You bought food from a Supermarket? I could only dream of mixing with aristocrats.
    Last edited by Mr Lick; 03-12-2013 at 09:47 PM.

  18. #18
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    we had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
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    we were so poor, we used to feed our cat on mice.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    my mom wouldn't buy another Sky box so I could change the channel in my bedroom. I had to watch whatever premium movie they were watching downstairs.

  21. #21
    Banned

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    I was never considered a foreigner....

  22. #22
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    I learned how to be tough at a young age because I grew up in the middle of two brothers. The younger one was a psycho who chased me around the house with knives, and the older one was a party animal who I blame got me involved with 'partying' at a young age.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat
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    We were so poor that in the winters we had to sit around a candle for warmth. If it were really cold we used to light it.

    We couldn't afford holidays to Blackpool and had to stand on corner watching traffic lights.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    We were that poor that when I ever stood on a penny, I could tell you whether it was heads or tails!

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gazza
    We were so poor that in the winters we had to sit around a candle for warmth
    Rich barstewards you were.
    My mum made candles from my earwax and knotted hairs from my head!

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