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  1. #51
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    "A woman is like a box of chocolates".

    "Put your knob into a hot one, it always comes out brown".

  2. #52
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    That will be Abby then
    Happily married for 13 years. Not sure about the phrase "soul mates" but I've definitely never called her a kunt.

  3. #53
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    Anyone wanna elaborate on the shit-stained arsehole ?
    That's because Farang women are more hairy around the arsehole. Just kidding. How many households have you seen in Farang country with this water jet in the bathroom next to the toilet bowl? They use toilet paper only. Not as clean. Same problem for men. If I ever go back to Germany, I make sure to install such a thing in the toilet.

  4. #54
    Never Mind The Bollix
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    Quote Originally Posted by flashbang View Post
    The eyes, the nose, the skin colour and an asshole that hasn't been stained by shit.
    You could have got her an arsehole transplant for Christmas. If you are keen you can hang out at the morgue to check the ones coming in to ensure a good colour match!

    Just don't fall into the trap of getting one that is stretched and worn out from some gay fella who was into being fisted by his BF or the running costs could be high (nappies, laundry, bed sheets etc.)


  5. #55
    Southern Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainfall
    How many households have you seen in Farang country with this water jet in the bathroom next to the toilet bowl? They use toilet paper only
    This is not for washing your hands mate


  6. #56
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
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    My ex had tits, a functioning brain, independence and money.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    Fock it, I reckon Terry has the right idea. i'm off to buy a camper van
    Cheaper wine will do the job. Terry looks better after a case or two.

  8. #58
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    The main difference for me is Gerts belief in Buddhism i have never been a churchgoer.
    But i have always gone to temples with her given alms in the morning.
    My last girlfriend was Jamaican she liked a drink Gert will drink 1 G&T a year and i have to drink 1/2 of it.

  9. #59
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    What if [any of] your ex-wife is Thai...?

  10. #60
    Thailand Expat
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    I'm not married right now (might be tomorrow - who knows). I'll compare my 3 ex's (first is Irish, last 2 were Thai). Of course, my opinion is totally biased.

    Wife #1 was a good wife and mother, loved the good life that my hard work paid for. When the money ran out, so did she.

    Wife #2 was initially a good wife, but yaba changed all that. Never a good mother (too busy on planet Mars...). Now calmed down and a good friend, so long as I don't lend her any money (which I'll never see again)

    Wife #3 was never a good wife nor lover. A complete mistake to marry her. She was great at loving, (if you're an expensive car, dress or mobile phone, which I was not). Her priority at using money that I provided to her for building our business was:
    1 - Make-up
    2 - Nice clothes
    3 - Any nice consumer goods that she can show off with
    ...
    999999999999 - her husband and our business

    In all 3 cases, I can honestly say that the only thing that motivated them all was the $$$ that I earned, and that trait is not unique to any nationality of course.

    Now I'm disguised as a poor begger, bereft of all funds. I don't seem to find women queuing up to meet me

    Simon
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  11. #61
    Thailand Expat
    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    Wife #1 was a good wife and mother, loved the good life that my hard work paid for. When the money ran out, so did she. Wife #2 was initially a good wife, but yaba changed all that. Never a good mother (too busy on planet Mars...). Now calmed down and a good friend, so long as I don't lend her any money (which I'll never see again) Wife #3 was never a good wife nor lover. A complete mistake to marry her. She was great at loving, (if you're an expensive car, dress or mobile phone, which I was not). Her priority at using money that I provided to her for building our business was: 1 - Make-up 2 - Nice clothes 3 - Any nice consumer goods that she can show off with ...
    101. You have to fuck them well mate. Do that and your strike rate will be higher.

  12. #62
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rainfall
    How many households have you seen in Farang country with this water jet in the bathroom next to the toilet bowl? They use toilet paper only
    This is not for washing your hands mate

    Bidet. First apprenticeship I did was as a plumber. Never seen one of them during those 2 years, knew them only from the books.

  13. #63
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rainfall
    How many households have you seen in Farang country with this water jet in the bathroom next to the toilet bowl? They use toilet paper only
    This is not for washing your hands mate


    It aint for laying a cable in either you dirty git !

    Another one of your faux paux,s ? when under the influence ,, or was it a genuine mistake after you ran in with the skitts the power went off ?
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

  14. #64
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey View Post
    The main difference for me is Gerts belief in Buddhism i have never been a churchgoer.
    But i have always gone to temples with her given alms in the morning.
    My last girlfriend was Jamaican she liked a drink Gert will drink 1 G&T a year and i have to drink 1/2 of it.


    Green sent mate ,, Mr. + Mrs material

  15. #65
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelandjan View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rainfall
    How many households have you seen in Farang country with this water jet in the bathroom next to the toilet bowl? They use toilet paper only
    This is not for washing your hands mate


    It aint for laying a cable in either you dirty git !

    Another one of your faux paux,s ? when under the influence ,, or was it a genuine mistake after you ran in with the skitts the power went off ?
    Its for washing you arsehole and balls and shaft too if you want to, but definitely not your feet, in case you are Muslim, but i suppose you could if the shit has been flushed

    last thing you want is your feet smelling like shit
    Sorry about me horrible speling

  16. #66
    Southern Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Nige's feet wouldnt fit in a bidet

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by poorfalang
    last thing you want is your feet smelling like shit
    Spending way to much time thinking me thinks...Looper has two of these. One when he's male and the other when cross dressing. "Put on your red dress baby,,,"

  18. #68
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Nige's feet wouldnt fit in a bidet
    Certainly wouldnt go in that one with your log still in there mate ,,, should at least peed on it to try to move it ..

    etiquiete man !

  19. #69
    R.I.P.
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    [QUOTE=Gravesend Dave;2526808]
    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Women, they're all the friggin same.
    Can't live with em, cant throw em down the stairs

    They all bleed and moan once a Month, whine about your drinking habits and try and shape you into their mould

    Fock it, I reckon Terry has the right idea. i'm off to buy a camper van

    Dont forget that terry and and i are getting married There is no way that you are staying in the camper van with us.

    You can stay in a tent. That way. Towards over there
    Your dragging that fantasy out Pat!

    Why don,t you just get a real partner ?
    Well, at least I'm laughing about it. Not like you, who shouts and swears everytime the word Pikey is mentioned.

    How do you know I don't have a partner?

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelandjan View Post
    She,s my soul mate
    Damn! Beat me too it....

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    How do you know I don't have a partner?
    Cats don't take partners. Its always a "short time," affair.

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin View Post
    My ex had tits, a functioning brain, independence and money.
    And THAT made her an ex?


    Just sayin like...

  23. #73
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    ^Yea, to much to handle, the full Monte'

  24. #74
    Thailand Expat
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    555..very entertainin>.
    new wife 23y my junior never bickers,never cleans the bathropms,never off the phone, never stops asking if i am hungry,fantastic cook..ofthe iclean plate later variety,never seems to age (43 today),never nags if I DRINK at 8am.
    The ex was a good wife and mother..never sto[pped frickin talking.!
    "My ex is an angel"

    "yr frickin lucky mate , mine is still alive"

  25. #75
    Thailand Expat
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    555..very entertainin>.
    new wife 23y my junior never bickers,never cleans the bathropms,never off the phone, never stops asking if i am hungry,fantastic cook..ofthe iclean plate later variety,never seems to age (43 today),never nags if I DRINK at 8am.
    The ex was a good wife and mother..never sto[pped frickin talking.!
    "My ex is an angel"

    "yr frickin lucky mate , mine is still alive"

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