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  1. #1
    Excitable Boy
    FailSafe's Avatar
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    Your Own Personal Hell

    If you're an old-school type who's read Dante, a proper hellish eternity might be confinement in a lake of boiling blood- that actually sounds pretty good compared to what's crossed my mind today.

    I think a good-and-proper satanic torture (for me personally, at least) would be having to spend the rest of eternity on the phone talking to my mother while trying to explain how to do something simple on her computer- logging onto my Photobucket account with my username and password, perhaps, or maybe assisting her in trying to find my YouTube account so she can watch a video I've uploaded (where we start running into problems with Google, and then things go downhill from there)- I realize a program like LogMeIn would help, but I'll have to wait until the next time I'm in NY to install it (wow- explaining how to set up LogMeIn to my mom over the phone- shoot me now...)

    A computer screen turns this reasonably intelligent woman into a blithering idiot, and it takes every ounce of will to keep my composure (which, admittedly, I sometimes lose). If I have to hear, 'Everything on the screen disappeared and I didn't touch anything' one more time...

    Yes, that would be a good-and-proper punishment worthy of making me walk the straight-and-narrow in this life- the thought of it fills me with dread.

    What's your personal hell?
    There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
    HST

  2. #2
    Fuck it
    Satonic's Avatar
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    Loss of vision / not being able to ride again would be hell for me.




    (Or having to spend eternity listening to Socal)

  3. #3
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe
    What's your personal hell?
    Gr*****nd?

  4. #4
    The cold, wet one
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    In Sartre's Huis Clos (did it for French A level), hell is a stuffy, hot, uncomfortable room with 3 people in it who are incompatible, yet each of them fancies one of the others, who in turn despises them.

    My hell? Trying to get the shopping done in a British supermarket, with the Jeremy Kyle generation standing in my way every few metres, their kids screaming and trying to kick them, their trollies, stuffed with convenience food, blocking every aisle, while they nonchalantly text their mates. Being forced to see acres of cellulite, bulging out of too tight clothes, badly drawn and spelt tattoos and unwashed hair, and get too close to sweat and bad breath, whilst trying politely to manoeuvre past them. God, I love Ilkeston Tesco!

    Alternatively, it would be eternity doing some of the night shifts I've done recently...

  5. #5
    Banned

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    Coming back next life as a reincarnated TD mod.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    Hell is as pleasurable as you want it to be. Why would Satan punish sinners who he supposedly adores to please a God that he despises?

    Why isn't there an 'sex orgy' smiley on here?

  7. #7
    Neo
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    Being in Tesco superstore when it's crowded, eternally searching for the mango chutney.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
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    Having to action emails sent by women. They really don't have a fucking clue how to write down comprehensible instructions.

  9. #9
    Knows fok all
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    Waking up Australian.

  10. #10
    Suspended from News & Speakers Corner
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    Hell is other people...didn't Dante write that?

  11. #11
    The cold, wet one
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    Quote Originally Posted by Primo
    Hell is other people...didn't Dante write that?
    No, Sartre. It's part of Huis Clos

  12. #12
    Suspended from News & Speakers Corner

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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
    If you're an old-school type who's read Dante, a proper hellish eternity might be confinement in a lake of boiling blood- that actually sounds pretty good compared to what's crossed my mind today.

    I think a good-and-proper satanic torture (for me personally, at least) would be having to spend the rest of eternity on the phone talking to my mother while trying to explain how to do something simple on her computer- logging onto my Photobucket account with my username and password, perhaps, or maybe assisting her in trying to find my YouTube account so she can watch a video I've uploaded (where we start running into problems with Google, and then things go downhill from there)- I realize a program like LogMeIn would help, but I'll have to wait until the next time I'm in NY to install it (wow- explaining how to set up LogMeIn to my mom over the phone- shoot me now...)

    A computer screen turns this reasonably intelligent woman into a blithering idiot, and it takes every ounce of will to keep my composure (which, admittedly, I sometimes lose). If I have to hear, 'Everything on the screen disappeared and I didn't touch anything' one more time...

    Yes, that would be a good-and-proper punishment worthy of making me walk the straight-and-narrow in this life- the thought of it fills me with dread.

    What's your personal hell?
    Holy F!! We share the same hell, well, at least that one, I thought it was just me!! I had to give up.. So frustrating and demoralizing

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
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    To be sitting in a bar full of Australians.

  14. #14
    R.I.P
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    Quote Originally Posted by can123 View Post
    To be sitting in a bar full of Australians.
    Funny, that's exactly what i was doing when England won the World Rugby Cup Final, against Australia no less. Great place to be.

  15. #15
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neo
    Being in Tesco superstore when it's crowded, eternally searching for the mango chutney.
    Online shopping mate its the way to go .

    My personal hell would be a round the world cruise ,, or come to that a cruise anywhere ,,, I would be jumping off the bloody thing before it left port .

    Bored shitless ,,, and today we can see the sea ,, and later today we can see the sea , and if were lucky before we go to bed we can see it again ! So glad we paid the extra for a sea view cabin .

    Oh I forget ,, you can play bingo on there ,, go shopping ,, go watch a film ,, oh and theres that captains table thing FFS ! give me a break !
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Boon Mee's Avatar
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    Big C on a Sunday afternoon.

    True Visions dropping ESN again with the NFL Football season coming up.

  17. #17
    Cacoethes scribendi
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    Having to live my life all over again, making all those mistakes again and being powerless to prevent them from happening!

  18. #18
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    A woman who can drink more than I can.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
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    Being a good person your whole life to get into heaven then dying going to heaven and finding out there is only like 10 other people there and they are the most boring people you have ever met and you can never leave. I forgot to mention you can see all of the interesting people in hell having a good time all the time.
    I'm not saying it was Aliens, but it was Aliens!

  20. #20
    I am in Jail
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    Being strapped up like Alex in Clockwork Orange and forced to read the looped rantings of Rainfall, Primo, Quim, Mao, and other TD superheroes.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by beazalbob69 View Post
    Being a good person your whole life to get into heaven then dying going to heaven and finding out there is only like 10 other people there and they are the most boring people you have ever met and you can never leave. I forgot to mention you can see all of the interesting people in hell having a good time all the time.
    But wouldn't that be hell?

  22. #22
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe
    I think a good-and-proper satanic torture (for me personally, at least) would be having to spend the rest of eternity on the phone talking to my mother while trying to explain how to do something simple on her computer
    I know what you mean there. Get her an iPad

  23. #23
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leemo
    Being strapped up like Alex in Clockwork Orange and forced to read the looped rantings of Rainfall, Primo, Quim, Mao, and other TD superheroes.
    Poor widdle leemo, can't take dissenting opinions! While you are on the couch why don't you show us on the doll where the "TD superheroes" touched you.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat

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    being in a prison cell with Tony

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    I had a dream / nightmare a while ago about bar-fining an ugly tranny and having to do what seemed like a slow-motion 10km "walk of shame" to the nearest sordid short-time hotel..
    En route, everybody I've ever known lined the road to point at me and shake their heads in utter disgust and disappointment. Even my best-ever dog "Rusty" whined, and looked away at one point.
    I imagine this is what Hell really looks like.

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