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Thread: A Rant......

  1. #1
    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    A Rant......

    All I want to do is adopt our niece! She is 9, the father left them almost 2 years ago and went back to Burma. Our sister in law struggles to work and take care of her child and parents (We send money to help them of course). She is willing to let us adopt her, she knows that her chances of success would be so much greater here in Hawaii!

    Between the Thai & US governments this is all but impossible. I spoke with a Thai/American lawyer in Bangkok and he said private adoptions are not allowed in Thailand unless both parents are Thai citizens. My wife and I are both US citizens. He said we could still adopt but we would not be allowed to choose the child (as in a private adoption). Furthermore the US government will only allow us to adopt someone who meets the "orphan rule". Since her mother is alive she will not qualify.

    I am heartbroken... All I want to do is adopt my wonderful little niece! I mean I am a law abiding US citizen in good standing with my community and cannot understand why this should be impossible. The Declaration of Independence says I have the right to "Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness". Why should any government tell me who I can and cannot adopt? I make plenty of money, have a spotless criminal record and can provide more than enough for this child!

    She lives on the Burmese border in Mae Sae and every day I read about the yaba smugglers shooting it out with police and killing locals they come across! I want her out of there!

    sorry for the rant... but I am absolutely heartbroken....

  2. #2
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    Do you have to adopt her?

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    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    I don't have to adopt her... but we want to adopt her...

    it bugs me because international adoption agencies are like "we can try". all they want is my money win lose or draw.... I could spend 20 grand only to be told "sorry"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound
    I don't have to adopt her... but we want to adopt her...
    What I'm trying to get at, is maybe you dont need to adopt her to help her. Perhaps you are spending your efforts in the wrong direction.

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    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    we will absolutely help no matter where she lives. She will have her college tuition paid for... a car on her 16th birthday... anything she could ever need...

    it would be nice to raise her here in Honolulu.

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    What about bringing her and her mother to Hawai?

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    The cold, wet one
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    You can adopt her, sweetie. The fact that you are US citizens doesn't matter. Have you been to the woman & children's welfare bureau in BKK?

    Please do not give up, whatever you do. They (bureaucracy) will feed you shit and expect you to act like a mushroom. They did it to me & I lost my "son". I now know better. Have you had her as your "daughter"r for more than 6 months? Feel free to pm me if you need advice. I assume her mother is in agreement? If not, forget it. Morally, ethically and through familial values

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound
    it would be nice to raise her here in Honolulu.


    yes, but I dont think adoption is the only option in which to do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    What about bringing her and her mother to Hawai?
    one possibility.

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    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    there is 12-13 year wait for family visas. we are considering that but it will be 13 years and Pongtip will be over 18... then her mother can petition for her and another 4-6 year wait..

    Thanks NR... I agree the bureaucracy will kill ya...

    laws are laws... Neither my wife or I are thai citizens which means no private adoption. My sister in law is still alive so no "orphan" status...

    I told my wife we should get a divorce and I will go marry her sister and adopt Pongtip and then after 3 years I get another divorce and marry her again... that seems to be my only option!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post

    I told my wife we should get a divorce and I will go marry her sister and adopt Pongtip and then after 3 years I get another divorce and marry her again... that seems to be my only option!
    This scenario sounds very Thai....

    Nonetheles, hope everything works out in a positive manner for you two and extended family.

    Good luck, Hound.

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    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    line the sis in law up with a mate

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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    line the sis in law up with a mate
    I have been trying, but at 42 most of my friends are married and the ones who are not... are certainly not looking for a wife and 9 year old from half way around the world!

    one friend I told him I would pay for his flights, hotels, visa fees, lawyer prenuptial agreement & divorce and they would never have to even live with him, they will live with me and I will take care of everything...

    I even told him I would give him a full day pass at the Eden Club when we arrive in BK!

    he was still not all that interested...

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    Correct me if I am wrong but isn't there ahem "other" ways to get around lame ass adoption laws? It is Thailand after all land of corruption. Instead of buying her a car when she turns 16 just use that money to pay off the right assholes in Thailand. Could probably have it all taken care of in a couple of weeks. Just another possibility to think about.
    I'm not saying it was Aliens, but it was Aliens!

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    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    no... it has to do with Thailand being part of the "Hauge convention". maybe I could get her signed over to us... but the US immigration has the final say about giving her a visa to enter the US. I have been reading about people who adopt in Thailand.. they have full custody and US government says sorry.. we will not issue this child a visa. then the parents have to find a way to live in Thailand for 2 years and care for the child. THEN petition the child as a relative.

    pretty fucked up...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post


    She lives on the Burmese border in Mae Sae and every day I read about the yaba smugglers shooting it out with police and killing locals they come across! I want her out of there!

    ..
    Mae Sae iisnt like that at all , theres the ocasional shootings , a few a year , but these are usually in the Mountains away from people , its usually Thai Poilice catching smugglers en route and it turns into a shoot out .
    They are quite rare , in secluded areas and the public dont get involved

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post
    All I want to do is adopt our niece! She is 9, the father left them almost 2 years ago and went back to Burma. Our sister in law struggles to work and take care of her child and parents (We send money to help them of course). She is willing to let us adopt her, she knows that her chances of success would be so much greater here in Hawaii!

    Between the Thai & US governments this is all but impossible. I spoke with a Thai/American lawyer in Bangkok and he said private adoptions are not allowed in Thailand unless both parents are Thai citizens. My wife and I are both US citizens. He said we could still adopt but we would not be allowed to choose the child (as in a private adoption). Furthermore the US government will only allow us to adopt someone who meets the "orphan rule". Since her mother is alive she will not qualify.

    I am heartbroken... All I want to do is adopt my wonderful little niece! I mean I am a law abiding US citizen in good standing with my community and cannot understand why this should be impossible. The Declaration of Independence says I have the right to "Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness". Why should any government tell me who I can and cannot adopt? I make plenty of money, have a spotless criminal record and can provide more than enough for this child!

    She lives on the Burmese border in Mae Sae and every day I read about the yaba smugglers shooting it out with police and killing locals they come across! I want her out of there!

    sorry for the rant... but I am absolutely heartbroken....
    You have given no thought as to what your Niece wants .
    You want to take her away from her Mother, her friends, her Country, her Friends to a distant Foreign land where She may not speak the language .
    She is probably happy and content living here she is with her mother and friends, you are just being selfish wanting to take her away from that

  17. #17
    Member youneverknow's Avatar
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    Pound Hound, You might look into how she could enroll in a private school near you. Lots of Thai kids study abroad each year. She could be there with you for all of her school years and by the time she graduates she could probably stay anyways or you would have figured something out by then.

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    ^This may be the way to go...Good luck to you

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    I cannot offer useful advice but wish you well.
    I have an adopted son(at 6),he is 42 now and my best mate.

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    Move/resettle back into Thailand [with the Missus]...

    Then, you can easily take her in....in a social/familial manner.

    Without all this preconceived legal BS.

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    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound
    it has to do with Thailand being part of the "Hauge convention"
    Thailand isn't a signatory to the Hague Convension.

    Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent’s authorization.”
    http://www.thailawforum.com/blog/gir...land-abduction
    Last edited by Pragmatic; 01-08-2013 at 07:39 PM.

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    Whatever you do, don't buy her a car when she's 16.....

    good luck

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    Thailand isn't a signatory to the Hague Convension.
    yes they are....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke
    You have given no thought as to what your Niece wants . You want to take her away from her Mother, her friends, her Country, her Friends to a distant Foreign land where She may not speak the language . She is probably happy and content living here she is with her mother and friends, you are just being selfish wanting to take her away from that
    yes we have put it to her... She wants to live here in Hawaii with us. She is no fool... She is the top of her class at school and feels she is not challenged. She wants to have a the best education she can get.

    and she knows she would come home every summer to see everybody.

    and the last adjective I would ever use to describe myself.. or my wife... is selfish!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by youneverknow
    Pound Hound, You might look into how she could enroll in a private school near you. Lots of Thai kids study abroad each year. She could be there with you for all of her school years and by the time she graduates she could probably stay anyways or you would have figured something out by then.
    absolutely.... that is what I am looking into now....

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