Why Nigella Lawson & others only have themselves to blame

**taxexile** · 24-06-2013, 12:41 PM

**Sailing into trouble** · 24-06-2013, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Originally Posted by khmen

So, a lot of abused women "deserve" it? What a horridly warped perspective that only utter cowardly cvnts would subscribe to.

That's my opinion. Yes.

Don't understand who the cowards are in your statement. The ones who despise & hate the cowards, or the cowards themselves?

NA Dj this is not the dark ages. Sorry, you are saying that anyone at any time has the right to beat the living shit out of someone "cause they asked for it".

Cops could use that line
School teachers
Social Workers.

Bullies use that line all the time.

Stealing a meal from a restaurant, kids prank! Agreeing to physical violence against another human being? maybe your opinion, but what a crap one.

**billy the kid** · 24-06-2013, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by patsycat

the mental abuse is almost worse than the physical.

the ole sayin ' sticks and stones may break my bones'
seems to be as dead as the dodo now.
part of the ole stiff upper lip.

**khmen** · 24-06-2013, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

That's my opinion. Yes. Don't understand who the cowards are in your statement. The ones who despise & hate the cowards, or the cowards themselves?

Well, your opinion is fucked up and you obviously have very little understanding of abusive relationships. Things ain't so simple as "Oh, now go, walk out the door...".

The cowards in my statement are people who justify violence against women, and blame them for it.

AFAIC, if that's your opinion you're as much a coward as a wife beater is, and if you voiced that opinion in front of me I'd be inclined to give you a taste of what it feels like.

Originally Posted by Koojo

He's judging them BECAUSE they put up with it on a daily basis. He's saying they're stupid twats for putting up with it on a daily basis. If some bully at the pub slapped pattycake around he may or may not have deserved it. If he continues going to the same pub and getting slapped around by the same bully, what would you say then? __________________

Yeah, well he has no right to judge them BECAUSE of that. You too obviously have no clue as to the complex reasons why someone stays with an abuser, the way the abuser psychologically manipulates these women, the way they isolate them and make them feel totally helpless, worthless and reliant on them.

Re your second part: It's not exactly a direct comparison as they ain't in a relationship. It was an off the cuff comparison saying that if Pat found himself in a situation where he was being bullied and abused, he'd be as helpless and defenceless as an abused wife.

Maybe then he'd realise why it ain't so easy to just leave...poor comparison maybe, but you get the point.

**blue** · 24-06-2013, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Socal will be along soon

you would have thought so ,
perhaps the thread title wasnt that clear , nigella who ?

Originally Posted by khmen

a lot of abused women "deserve" it?

I dont think they deserve it , but you usually can only help someone who wants to be helped ,so after a while you just stop caring , especialy when the woman has a job , money of her own etc . .

I've seen people intervene in the street to protect women , and take on the abusive boyfriend , and every time the women takes the side of her abuser against the helper .

**terry57** · 24-06-2013, 04:49 PM

I lay the blame fairly and squarely at the feet of the male in mostly all circumstances.

Only because in the vast majority of cases the male has superior strength and the female cannot compete with that physical threat so for the male to bash the female is simply a cowardly act.

Fair enough, in some cases the Female might of done something that has caused a melt down in the male but fuck me its a very piss poor act to bash a weaker target that ones knows cannot retaliate.

If she is a Back belt in karate fair enough bring it on but if she's just a normal female fuk off EH.

Its like a school yard bully of 15 bashing a ten year old. Cont act.

I have never known a person who has bashed there woman and if I did so I'd have fuck all to do with him end off.

Cowardly fucking thing to do. Not the actions of a man but the actions of a Piss Ant.

**khmen** · 24-06-2013, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by blue

I dont think they deserve it , but you usually can only help someone who wants to be helped ,so after a while you just stop caring , especialy when the woman has a job , money of her own etc . . I've seen people intervene in the street to protect women , and take on the abusive boyfriend , and every time the women takes the side of her abuser against the helper .

True, but that's because of the mind-games the abuser plays. A type of Stockholm syndrome if you like, the blame for that can hardly be laid at the womans feet. They've basically been manipulated into a position where they wholly rely on the whims of the abuser, they're bothe their protector and punisher.

Far too complex to just sum up with "Well, it's the slags own stupid fault for putting up with it, she could leave at any time".

**DJ Pat** · 24-06-2013, 05:10 PM

There are obviously different case scenarios, but why say ''poor me, I get beaten by my BF/husband'' and then do nothing about it?

Sad thing about Nigella is that on TV she comes across as nice and flirtatious, and gets the men excited. Then we see she's wasted on some prick that abuses her, with pics in the national press showing her being humiliated in public, yet she still stays with him. To me, that's baffling and sad.

**Cujo** · 24-06-2013, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Sad thing about Nigella is that on TV she comes across as nice and flirtatious, and gets the men excited.

She comes across as a heiffer.
Doubt she gets many excited.

**DJ Pat** · 24-06-2013, 06:41 PM

Never said it got me excited at all. Her age, faux-titilation and lack of cooking skills are f**king annoying.

**Bower** · 24-06-2013, 06:57 PM

I had a neighbour once that got steadily more aggressive to his wife, they had a right set to in the garden, I pulled him off her, he stormed into the house and I Said to the woman, 'you cannot put up with this, one day he's really going to hurt you' she replied, ' thanks for your assistance, my sons are coming to take him to a care home tomorrow, he has altzimers. She clearly adored her husband.

**November Rain** · 24-06-2013, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Bower

I had a neighbour once that got steadily more aggressive to his wife, they had a right set to in the garden, I pulled him off her, he stormed into the house and I Said to the woman, 'you cannot put up with this, one day he's really going to hurt you' she replied, ' thanks for your assistance, my sons are coming to take him to a care home tomorrow, he has altzimers. She clearly adored her husband.

That's a sad but true scenario. I work with dementia and EMI patients, and some are really quite violent, often the absolute opposite of how they were in their younger days. Heartbreaking for the family, and for the sufferer themselves

**tonyroma** · 09-07-2013, 08:55 AM

complicated issue ...if u have done nothing wrong ...leave

**Jesus Jones** · 09-07-2013, 09:22 AM

Well I was in an abusive relationship many years ago in the UK, but I was the one being physically attacked by my GF. Kicked, scratched, bitten and had objects smashed over me. Other than defending myself by pushing her away which meant grabbing her, I never hit her yet she said I was the violent one for grabbing her while protecting myself. To this day I don't know why I stayed with her for so long. She was very insecure and hated it when I went out. I guess I felt sorry for her while forgetting my own needs. She had great tits though!

**Morden** · 09-07-2013, 10:55 AM

I'm sorry that the Lawson/Saatchi relationship has gone this way. I remember that he stepped in quickly to support her when her previous husband died and they were married quite a short time later.

There's no excuse for using violence against a woman except in self defence in extreme cases. To put hands around a woman's throat in public indicates an alarming lack of control and makes me wonder what he might be capable of in private. Whatever her feelings at the moment, divorce is almost certainly the best thing for her.

The attempts on this thread to blame the victim show a poor understanding of how victims, especially female ones, may react to domestic violence. Kicking someone when she's down, even on a community forum in Asia that she will probably never read, shows great insensitivity and lack of understanding.

**Cujo** · 09-07-2013, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Morden

I'm sorry that the Lawson/Saatchi relationship has gone this way. I remember that he stepped in quickly to support her when her previous husband died and they were married quite a short time later.

There's no excuse for using violence against a woman except in self defence in extreme cases. To put hands around a woman's throat in public indicates an alarming lack of control and makes me wonder what he might be capable of in private. Whatever her feelings at the moment, divorce is almost certainly the best thing for her.

The attempts on this thread to blame the victim show a poor understanding of how victims, especially female ones, may react to domestic violence. Kicking someone when she's down, even on a community forum in Asia that she will probably never read, shows great insensitivity and lack of understanding.

I wonder what prompted this act of agression.
She obviously said something to provoked him. It wasn't just something he did to pass the time.

**Morden** · 09-07-2013, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by Koojo

Originally Posted by Morden

I'm sorry that the Lawson/Saatchi relationship has gone this way. I remember that he stepped in quickly to support her when her previous husband died and they were married quite a short time later.

There's no excuse for using violence against a woman except in self defence in extreme cases. To put hands around a woman's throat in public indicates an alarming lack of control and makes me wonder what he might be capable of in private. Whatever her feelings at the moment, divorce is almost certainly the best thing for her.

The attempts on this thread to blame the victim show a poor understanding of how victims, especially female ones, may react to domestic violence. Kicking someone when she's down, even on a community forum in Asia that she will probably never read, shows great insensitivity and lack of understanding.

I wonder what prompted this act of agression.
She obviously said something to provoked him. It wasn't just something he did to pass the time.

What, then, would you say justifies a physical attack on a woman in a restaurant?

**harrybarracuda** · 09-07-2013, 01:02 PM

You can put away the fake indignation fellers, she's divorcing him.

**patsycat** · 09-07-2013, 01:38 PM

No, he's divorcing her!!

If he can grab her like that in public, who knows what happens behind closed doors.

**Cujo** · 09-07-2013, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Morden

Originally Posted by Koojo

Originally Posted by Morden

I'm sorry that the Lawson/Saatchi relationship has gone this way. I remember that he stepped in quickly to support her when her previous husband died and they were married quite a short time later.

There's no excuse for using violence against a woman except in self defence in extreme cases. To put hands around a woman's throat in public indicates an alarming lack of control and makes me wonder what he might be capable of in private. Whatever her feelings at the moment, divorce is almost certainly the best thing for her.

The attempts on this thread to blame the victim show a poor understanding of how victims, especially female ones, may react to domestic violence. Kicking someone when she's down, even on a community forum in Asia that she will probably never read, shows great insensitivity and lack of understanding.

I wonder what prompted this act of agression.
She obviously said something to provoked him. It wasn't just something he did to pass the time.

What, then, would you say justifies a physical attack on a woman in a restaurant?

I didn't say it was justified. I wondered what she said to prompt him to lash out like that.

**Cujo** · 09-07-2013, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by patsycat

No, he's divorcing her!!

If he can grab her like that in public, who knows what happens behind closed doors.

I know I'll get lambasted for this, but the fact is there's a time to just shut the fuck up.

**Morden** · 09-07-2013, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Koojo

Originally Posted by patsycat

No, he's divorcing her!!

If he can grab her like that in public, who knows what happens behind closed doors.

I know I'll get lambasted for this, but the fact is there's a time to just shut the fuck up.

Then do it!

**Latindancer** · 09-07-2013, 03:02 PM

If one uses one's imagination, various possible scenarios come to mind. However the fact is that none of us know what actually happened between them.

**Fluke** · 09-07-2013, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

You can put away the fake indignation fellers, she's divorcing him.

No, he is divorcing her .
He says that she failed to defend him in this case , did nt speak out and back him up.

**Cujo** · 09-07-2013, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by Latindancer

If one uses one's imagination, various possible scenarios come to mind. However the fact is that none of us know what actually happened between them.

None us know what happened to provoke him, but we do know SOMETHING she said or did provoked him.
But certain people are acting as though he just attacked her out of the blue with no provocation whatsoever.

Thread: Why Nigella Lawson & others only have themselves to blame

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