They want me to build another sodding hotel.....

**Simon43** · 14-05-2013, 09:04 PM

I've returned from working in Burma, trying to relax for a few weeks before I venture out again into the world of teaching.

I'm staying at my ex's hotel for free. My dear wife told me that there was no room at her inn and by the way, could I kindly give her some more money....

Anyway, I get a phone call from my ex's older sister who is married to a nice Norwegian guy and lives in Oslo. She provides Thai massage to elderly Norwegian guys with bad backs. (Honest - I don't think she does happy massage..). She gets paid a fortune in cash for sorting out their backs and is able to 'spirit' this money back to Thailand tax-free.

Now she has enough cash to buy a plot of land just near to my ex's hotel. She wants me to build a small hotel for her and then look after it for a nice monthly salary while she lives in Norway, plus she will pay to build a little house on her land for me to live in rent-free...

Decisions, decisions. The major downside in my life is the lack of regular nooky. Everyone is happy to ask me to build hotels and give me a wage to manage the hotel, but no-one is willing to include unlimited and free sexual gratification with the deal.

I wonder if I can get a maid to look after my little house.....

Simon

**Norton** · 14-05-2013, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Decisions, decisions.

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

**Aberlour** · 14-05-2013, 09:18 PM

Fool me twelve times and........?

**alwarner** · 14-05-2013, 09:25 PM

ha ha ha.

**Gerbil** · 14-05-2013, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Everyone is happy to ask me to build hotels and give me a wage to manage the hotel, but no-one is willing to include unlimited and free sexual gratification with the deal.

Build me a hotel please Simon. I can offer you the same deal.

**Bettyboo** · 14-05-2013, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by Aberlour

Fool me twelve times and........?

Indeed.

Don't do it, Simon. Kill the fukin lot of 'em for taking the piss...

**slackula** · 14-05-2013, 09:43 PM

You can't get laid on Phuket?

**Aberlour** · 14-05-2013, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by quimbian corholla

You can't get laid on Phuket?

Not without losing the shirt off his back it would seem.

I've always thought of Simon as good people, but fuck me does he make some naive mistakes.

One of those "too nice for his own good" kind of people.

**Looper** · 14-05-2013, 10:00 PM

With a chain of 3 that would make Simon the undisputed Conrad Hilton of Teakdoor

Originally Posted by Norton

Originally Posted by Simon43

Decisions, decisions.

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

Or to put it another way

Fool me once, shame on.....uhhh... shame on you.

Fool me......uhhh.... you can't get fooled again

**withnallstoke** · 14-05-2013, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Everyone is happy to ask me to build hotels and give me a wage to manage the hotel, but no-one is willing to include unlimited and free sexual gratification with the deal.

Lay down your tools and take up your tool.

**Norton** · 14-05-2013, 10:04 PM

For your listening pleasure Simon. Play it for the ex and ex SiL.

**Albert Shagnastier** · 14-05-2013, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

I'm staying at my ex's hotel for free.

Happiness is in the way you look at things

**Simon43** · 14-05-2013, 10:22 PM

I think you're all being rather hard on me

It was fun building the last 3 hotels, hard work of course, but better than an office job. At my time of life I am interested in:

1) an enjoyable and challenging life
2) Unlimited nooky at minimum financial cost

1) is easy to achieve. 2) is proving more difficult...

**Dillinger** · 14-05-2013, 10:39 PM

You say you get no nooky.

Looks to me like you get a regular shafting by the wives.

Looks like some guy called Tord is the latest to bend you over

**patsycat** · 14-05-2013, 11:05 PM

Right, let me get this straight in my pea brain.

Your ex wife's sister who lives in Norway giving massages to Norwegians wants you to use her money to build a hotel. With a liddle house for you to live in....

Come on Simon, you are not really that fucking stupid. Now you've gone from the ex wives who rolled you over to the sister in laws.

How many are there? And Mr Norsk is where?

**blue** · 14-05-2013, 11:30 PM

just build the hotel
add some twist to make it interesting, an unusual design or something

**DrAndy** · 15-05-2013, 02:41 AM

Originally Posted by Simon43

I think you're all being rather hard on me

It was fun building the last 3 hotels, hard work of course, but better than an office job. At my time of life I am interested in:

1) an enjoyable and challenging life
2) Unlimited nooky at minimum financial cost

1) is easy to achieve. 2) is proving more difficult...

of course you can build her a hotel, you have plenty of experience

if you want to do it, work out a proper business plan including your consultancy/management fees and send that to her

and make sure you get a decent amount of cash in the bank to do the work

i.e. the work stops if the money is not enough - you do not use your own for her project

the nooky is a seperate issue and should not cloud your business judgement

get a couple of maids

**wasabi** · 15-05-2013, 03:02 AM

When are You going to build a Hotel for yourself,yes for you.Why do you always have to build for women that leave you.

Study this mans hotel building history,Sol Kerzner.This short little jew has tall models aching to nab him.

**baldrick** · 15-05-2013, 07:00 AM

^ what the fcuk is that thing on the right ?

I think I have seen that head before in the predator movie

**pseudolus** · 15-05-2013, 07:04 AM

I think the OP should leave Thailand and never come back. Try Cambodia or Laos - at least the cost to you of women taking the piss is not going to ruin your retirement.

**Simon43** · 15-05-2013, 07:13 AM

Why do you always have to build for women that leave you

A slightly academic point, but no woman has ever left me. (Why would they?). It's me leaving them because they do sod-all to look after me (figuratively-speaking). I work hard for my wives, but I do expect something in return.

That Sol Kerzner guy seems to be doing ok....

**pseudolus** · 15-05-2013, 07:26 AM

^ simpler to slip them a grand after they have pounded you like a pizza base all night rather then build them a hotel in the hope they will. By giving them everything they want, you have trained them into ignoring you to get rewarded. Besides, is your wife still fucking that bloke who pretends to be her cousin / brother?

**Simon43** · 15-05-2013, 07:47 AM

Besides, is your wife still fucking that bloke who pretends to be her cousin / brother?

He is her younger brother, and I therefore doubt that she is fcking him. She was nowhere to be seen when I dropped by a few days ago, and he was looking after the hotel alone...

**pseudolus** · 15-05-2013, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Besides, is your wife still fucking that bloke who pretends to be her cousin / brother?

He is her younger brother, and I therefore doubt that she is fcking him. She was nowhere to be seen when I dropped by a few days ago, and he was looking after the hotel alone...

She was out with her *cousin* then?

**MeMock** · 15-05-2013, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

I'm staying at my ex's hotel for free.

Gee that's generous of her.

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