World cup fever grips Scotland.

[withnallstoke]

With Scotland failing to qualify for the worlds premier football showcase for the first time since they failed to qualify for 2006, the tuppence ha'penny nation has once again been pulling its ginger hair out over who to support. Football shirt suppliers initially reported a huge demand in England shirts, which was closely followed by a huge demand for fire services, not seen on such a scale since the English national team was eliminated from the world cribbage (doubles) finals in 1997, when the ensuing impromptu street parties led to several of the locals wooden dwellings burning down due to unattended peat fires. So, who exactly are the cheeky buttock bearing losers backing this time 'round? We decided to send our roving reporters to find out..............somewhere in Bonnies Cotland.


Reporter.. ...."Excuse me sir. Who do you think will win the world cup this year?

Angus McGobshite......."See you, ya fuckin great puff of a raving reporter that y'are, de dare de dare do de dare de dare do. An ya Inglish? A ferkin Inglishmon? Wi a passpert te Scotland? Do ya no ken we havnaee a clue what tae do? Seein as ye asked, mines a pint of heavy, wi' a wee bitty slippy sneaky scotchy whiskey as a chaser or two. Ya [at][at][at][at] ".

Reporter (already 37 scottish republican pounds and a promised third degree burn to the knackers lighter)..........."Ahh sir. May i ask your name?"

Hermann Malvinas......"Hermann Malvinas."

Reporter........"And your occupation?"

Hermann Malvinas......."Part time temporary occupier of.....mmm....mmmm...."

Reporter........"Who do you think will win the world cup this year, Hermann?"

Hermann Malvinas.."Everybody".

Reporter........"Everybody? What do yo mean? Everybody?"

Hermann Malvinas........."Everybody will win. But not the English. The English people and their netball team are scum, and the scotland team are the best the world has ever seen. And they have faces of red cross colour and fall down a lot. I am proud to be a scottish man and not to represent my great county. My great great grandpappy told me he went to Derbyshire one time about 250 years ago. He had a great holiday walking and drinking to the England, but he said it was not so much fun running all the way back home and everyone was chopped into little pieces."

[helge]

With Scotland failing to qualify for the worlds premier football showcase for the first time since they failed to qualify for 2006,

.....

[withnallstoke]

.....

Sympathiser?

[helge]

Sympathiser?

Empathiser.

Atleast they wont again experience the 'return home after just 1 round ' routine

[withnallstoke]

" Och eye the noo" was just one example of the hatred shown toward everybody who cast their eyes pittyingly and downwardly upon the lonely scotchman thrusting his penny less cast iron beaker toward his beloved frenchmen. "Just yous wait an see iff'n weeze dusnt invent hours ine languiges", said the bloke who purchased the ticket to the draw for a cut price German or Argentinian shirt.
They can dance as long as they like in the shitholes of Inverfuckinnoteam, or the high end of the low grey replica geordie prefab housing. But why do you want the fuckin frogs or the argies or the yellermans to do owt?

[withnallstoke]

Gordon Strachan a (scotchman) was recently pictured wiping a tear from his eye after his sides recent loss to noteam in particular.

[Moonraker]

With Scotland failing to qualify for the worlds premier football showcase for the first time since they failed to qualify for 2006,

I might get around to reading the rest once I stop laughing at this bit.

Outstanding start, green on the way.

[withnallstoke]

Scotlands finest hour.

[chassamui]

Gordon Strachan a (scotchman) was recently pictured wiping a tear from his eye after his sides recent loss to noteam in particular.

I actually thought this was yon ginja cvunt from the merkin tv series CSI Fort William.

[melvbot]

This Scotlandishman decided it would be easier to superglue his hand to his head to save the energy needed to hold his head in his hands so long.

In Scottishland holding your head in your hands is the most popular sporting activity.

[helge]

Oops;

Faroe Islands Vs Scotland 2-2 - ShrimperZone.Com

Faroes v Scotland
A real conversation from a phone-in on Talk Sport radio after Scotland's draw with the Faroe Islands.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Presenter: We have Jim on the line who wants to discuss Faroes vs Scotland.

Jim: Thanks... eh yeah. Just want to say it's an absolute disgrace. I mean we were playing the weakest side in world football and we can't do better then a draw.

Presenter: It was a poor result...

Jim: Poor result?? It's absolutely scandalous! The manager has lost the plot completely, he has to go. I know we have never set the world alight over the years on the international stage but I can't remember things being this bad. It's the end for us. The absolute end. We are the laughing stock of world football.

Presenter: Look Jim, I know it looks bad but there is still a long way to go, admittedly there does not seem much chance of you qualifying for 2004 but things will improve.

Jim: I never expected to qualify and don't mind that so much as we are not good enough... but to fail to beat a team like Scotland is a different matter and a real massive blow to everyone on the island.

[withnallstoke]

^

[Begbie]

Thanks, great video. My brother came back with a piece of turf which ended up in a flower pot. The goal posts were last seen being carried onto the tube.

[melvbot]

Here we have an excerpt from the current FIFA world rankings




FIFA.com - The FIFA/Coca-Cola World Ranking

[slackula]

A real conversation from a phone-in on Talk Sport radio after Scotland's draw with the Faroe Islands.

The presenter was Alan Brazil

A few more from him:

'Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s.'


'One moment I'm playing football and the next - whack - I wake up in hospital unconscious.'


'He held his head in his hands as it flashed past the post.'


'The tackles are coming in thick and thin'.


'Roy Keane, his face punches the air...'


Alan Brazil: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV's John Shaw."

Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan."

Alan Brazil: "Do you know, I've been doing that all morning. John, if you're listening, sorry mate."


"The man is United - cut him and he bleeds red". His evaluation on Alex Ferguson.


"Villa have had a complete reservation of fortunes."


Discussing Bob Monkhouse Tribute Dinner with Garry Bushell on TalkSport: "So Garry, how is old Bob these days?".

Garry Bushell replies: "Alan - he's dead, that's why the Tribute dinner is being held"

Desperately trying to talk his way out of a hole but just making it deeper: "Ah... I heard two versions."

[patsycat]

They almost beat the English at rugby yesterday...

[CB79]

Thanks, great video. My brother came back with a piece of turf which ended up in a flower pot. The goal posts were last seen being carried onto the tube.

We got our own back off the pitch in 1989 and 1996.

[josepy wallace]

I wont be supporting the English, beecause they aint good enough to win

[withnallstoke]

Live feed from George square in Glasgow. Note the subtle lack of a huge screen to watch the footie on.
Glasgow Webcams

[Bettyboo]

Presenter: We have Jim on the line who wants to discuss Faroes vs Scotland. Jim: Thanks... eh yeah. Just want to say it's an absolute disgrace. I mean we were playing the weakest side in world football and we can't do better then a draw. Presenter: It was a poor result... Jim: Poor result?? It's absolutely scandalous! The manager has lost the plot completely, he has to go. I know we have never set the world alight over the years on the international stage but I can't remember things being this bad. It's the end for us. The absolute end. We are the laughing stock of world football. Presenter: Look Jim, I know it looks bad but there is still a long way to go, admittedly there does not seem much chance of you qualifying for 2004 but things will improve. Jim: I never expected to qualify and don't mind that so much as we are not good enough... but to fail to beat a team like Scotland is a different matter and a real massive blow to everyone on the island.

Laugh out lloud funny.

[Bower]

I wont be supporting the English, beecause they aint good enough to win

With that sirname, what a surprise.

[billy the kid]

Gordon Strachan a (scotchman) was recently pictured wiping a tear from his eye after his sides recent loss to noteam in particular.

G S (a scotsman ) scotch a whiskey.

[Carnwadrick]

Funny stuff on here but not as funny as that English goalie Green letting an easy ball roll off his fingers and giving the Merikins a goal today. Poor bloke but lucky he was not playing for Columbia

[Scottish Gary]

At least we take defeat and despair on the chin. We dont resort to throwing plastic chairs and beer in the air and screaming abuse at the local population after yet another tournament disappointment that you had convinced yourselves you were going to win.

[withnallstoke]

At least we take defeat and despair on the chin. We dont resort to throwing plastic chairs and beer in the air and screaming abuse at the local population after yet another tournament disappointment that you had convinced yourselves you were going to win.

Fair points made. I watch the England games in isolation to prevent myself from indulging in that sort of behaviour. I also don't passionately support any team playing against Scotland.