A brewers tale.

[withnallstoke]

Bung lots of stuff into a big tub, add yeast, wait a bit, bottle, drink.
Easy.
But.


Be wary of floaters.
Floaters is the term used for bits that should more accurately be called suspenders. Either road up, these strings of bacteria all hold hands and form a chain that attack the brain. Having positioned themselves cunningly inside the glass they queue up to be imbibed into the body, and once inside make a bee line to some cortex or other and scramble all the bits.

What the .....?
Those of a poofy disposition should check that their prodden arse is nailed firmly to a bench because once imbibed, Barry bacteria makes the mind flip into time travel mode. Once or twice around the mental universe and the reassurance that the arse never left the seat is much needed, a veritable anchor in the sea of sanity.
For those made of sturdier stuff, another quaff and it's time for off.
The experiment continues.
It makes Absinthe look like a healthy fruit juice.


Withnalls Wankjuice is a violently alcoholic hallucinogen, and not for poofs.

[Fuzzy Bob]

Mmmmmm.... Absinthe

[Kwang]

I think you need a bit of ice in that wwj mate:-)

[withnallstoke]

Scientifically proven
A bloke sporting a beard and a white over coat recently tested a bottle and had this to say, after retrieving his eyeballs from a wall cavity created by an accident involving a cigarette lighter.*
"When i woke up, it was as though something had happened. Something that left me both intrigued and in need of an explanation. Why wasn't Jesus there to soften the blow? Why did he make me do this in the first place?



*Father Further has since resigned from his post as Monssegniuer and denied everything. He has new spectacles.

[Kwang]

Soda water too

[withnallstoke]

Eyewitness account.
Ivor Witness was there when it happened.
"These two eyeballs just fucking flew across the room" he said, in a Slovakian accent.
"It happened in a flash. I think they hit the wall at the same time, sort of simmer taneously, with maybe one impacting just before the other".

[withnallstoke]

Don't believe the rumours.
There has been (no, that's not pointing at you) a plethora of lies circulated as to the benefits of drinking Withnallswankjuice.
As living testament, i can state categorically that supping the juice does not make your hair grow back, does not make your penis massive, does not remove belly folds from atop the belt, does not make you coherent, does not fill your pockets with banknotes in a denomination of your choice, and neither does it make you invisible nor indestructable.

Indeed not.
The benefits are few and of a dinosauric longevity - fucked in the end.
To soften the blow of apples landing on the head, an unfortunate side effect of drinking the fruit of ones labour, this should make things sweeter.

[withnallstoke]

I think you need a bit of ice in that wwj mate

It's people like you removing ice from the polar regions to plop into glasses of ale that are turning polar bears into amphibious catastrophes.
Wwj should be heated in a crucible and drunk through the warm gusset of a nuns discarded undergarments, decorated with a trimming of pubic hair and one of those little wooden umbrellas at half mast, with a fine cheese and a jacksie full of girly finger.

[withnallstoke]

Marketing failure.
After the well publicised takeover bid of Wwj by Monsanto and save the whale and all the little fishes too, the market value plummeted. That should teach the bastards.
Wwj's move into the Chinese baby food market was not the soaring success predicted by Nostradamus, and the infant population of China has halved in one stroke of a little mishap.

[somtamslap]

Possible Long Term Side Effects

Consumers will almost always, with very few exceptions, become overwhelmingly attracted to the pert buttocks of goats and other such livestock.

[withnallstoke]

WWJ sets the user free, lets the balls swing loose , and is very similar to other incapacitating mindbending substances of ill repute but without the need for a prescription.



One should of course beware of introspection, genuflection, circumsision and penile erection.
Particularly penile erection, because that would make you have a mister big.

[Rural Surin]

All aside, have to admire those who succeed [or valiant attempt] at creating stimulating beverages. It is quite the refined art. Beers, ales, wines, spirits, liqueurs, etc....

Akin to self-sufficiency!!!

It's always an ever-changing and learned process.

Cheers to ya!

[OhOh]

A summer's visit to the isle of Wight in the 70's could leave you with flashbacks for the rest of your life.