Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 32

Thread: Hi

  1. #1
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23

    Hi

    Hi guys and gals,
    just wanted to introduce myself to this forum that I have followed for a number of years.
    I am Tommy Steele, a famous British comedian (and tap dancer-with flat feet) who sadly was unable to carry out National service or any other patriotic duties as it seems I have flat feet!

    Yes I could sing a song like a cheery chirpy cockney, and tap dance til the dogs cam home, but I managed to wriggle out of national service on account of my flat feet!

    What a shame!

    Glad to be on board!

  2. #2
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    04-08-2012 @ 01:09 AM
    Posts
    2,589
    Welcome Tommy

  3. #3
    Member peaches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Last Online
    23-04-2019 @ 08:50 AM
    Location
    issan
    Posts
    927
    G'Day Tommy,
    Is it true you showed Elvis around London
    when he was 23 years old ???

    Turning Peaches into wine.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    Ratchaburi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:39 AM
    Location
    Ratchaburi
    Posts
    5,215
    Welcome TSFF


  5. #5
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Nahkon Sawon
    Posts
    13,025
    Not freinds with Paul Gadd are you?

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Last Online
    21-11-2019 @ 08:54 AM
    Posts
    36,453
    Welcome to the Buffalo Board...You're up early...

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    Not so famous that I've heard of ya.

  8. #8
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    14,974
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson View Post
    Not so famous that I've heard of ya.

    Gosh.




  9. #9
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Mousehole
    Posts
    20,902
    Tommy Steele was the star from "Half a Sixpence"

  10. #10
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    04-08-2012 @ 01:09 AM
    Posts
    2,589
    No flies on you TYIM

  11. #11
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    04-12-2019 @ 04:56 PM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,277
    Was Tommy Jewish?

  12. #12
    On a walkabout
    Loy Toy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    Today @ 05:08 AM
    Posts
    28,682
    Were you that gay bloke in Monty Phython?

    Welcome anyway.

  13. #13
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Were you that gay bloke in Monty Phython?

    Welcome anyway.
    Thanks, I wasn't really that gay, just in a small sort of way - I didn't do anal or anything, I preferred to tap dance and sing chirpy cockney songs when all the other men of my age were out fighting the Germans.

    Whilst australians were being used as cannon fodder on the beaches of Gallipoli, I was singing some of my greatest hits on the London empire - Funny I was able to dance and sign so well, but my feet were too flat to fight, never mind though!

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
    alwarner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Last Online
    21-09-2018 @ 03:15 PM
    Location
    Location: Location.
    Posts
    5,126
    ^Its only gay if you make eye contact.....er....so I've heard.

    Welcome.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
    good2bhappy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Last Online
    11-11-2018 @ 05:44 PM
    Location
    Klong Samwa
    Posts
    15,309
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Whilst australians were being used as cannon fodder on the beaches of Gallipoli
    mmmmm not the smartest thing to say
    however no flamming so welcome

  16. #16
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    04-12-2019 @ 04:56 PM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,277
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    I preferred to tap dance and sing chirpy cockney songs when all the other men of my age were out fighting the Germans.
    A tough job, but indeed somebody had to do it.
    Nothing like a good old chirpy cockerny song to keep up the spirits of an otherwise pale and downtrodden populace during times of war.

  17. #17
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Was Tommy Jewish?
    I don't think I was a jew - I still have a little bit skin, but it may have grown back on its own!, but there really isn't that much about me on Google, guess I wasn't that famous!

    I know a good old Jew wrote a few songs form me back in the good old days - Lionel Bart - (I don't think he was in Auschwitz, Dachau, or any of those other death camps - I mean - which Jew ever was? I think he knew Elie Weisel - when he was in that series Down By The Riverbank - with Mr. Toad and Mr. Badger - but apart from that, he was never gassed or exposed to Zyklon B - he had a near escape one time with Brer Rabbit when he was nearly eaten by ravenous Niggers from Louisianna)

    Lionel Bart is not to be confused with that faggot Lionel Blair, or Tony blair both of whom are cunts and faggots but not Jewish)

    I found myself here in Thailand as many of you people will understand, running away from terrible invented charges of being a paedophile!

    This is not the case, just like my good friend Gary told me, the Brits hate it if you become succesful and the press will try to shoot you down in your prime especially if you get caught with your hands down 5 year olds underpants! Don't know what all the fuss is about, I was just trying to see which side he dressed -

    But, me, being a Cheerful Chirpy Cockney will get over all of that and spend my last years in old man cock heaven Pattaya, where the girls are cheaper than me and the little boys frolick in the sun!

    Cheers me old maties!

  18. #18
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    06-12-2019 @ 05:23 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,627
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Funny I was able to dance and sign so well, but my feet were too flat to fight, never mind though!
    A robust pair of plimsolls would have seen you fair in finer fettle.

    Tell me, were your underpants sown to a urine stained vest?

  19. #19
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    I preferred to tap dance and sing chirpy cockney songs when all the other men of my age were out fighting the Germans.
    A tough job, but indeed somebody had to do it.
    Nothing like a good old chirpy cockerny song to keep up the spirits of an otherwise pale and downtrodden populace during times of war.
    Indeed!
    I was a secret weapon for the British government! My feet - for tap dancing were insured for twice the price of Germany. If it wasn't for my distraction of the German bombers by the sounds from my feet - coventry might have been bombed!

    All of those people hiding in their Anderson shelters and in the tube stations (and in the tunnels of the Metro in Newcastle ) could have perished if the bombers hadn't been diverted to the Orkney Isles where my tap dancing was picked up on their sonar radar type equipment!

    I saved millions from being roasted alive by German firebombs - shame the Germans found me in the Orkneys before the British Draft Dodger Police - never mind though - I had flat Feet - How can a man be expected to fight for king and country if his feet are a bit flat!

    Millions of good men giving their lives to fight for freedom - how was I supposed to help for Christs sake - I had flat feet!

  20. #20
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Funny I was able to dance and sign so well, but my feet were too flat to fight, never mind though!
    A robust pair of plimsolls would have seen you fair in finer fettle.

    Tell me, were your underpants sown to a urine stained vest?
    No Iam not an Australian, I don't wear dags and the Aussie equivalent of a "hoodie" singlet!!!!! a fucking singlet - who the fuck came up with that - don't tell me you are a New Zealander - You are too close to those Aussie Criminals!

    I spent too many years suffering servitude watching fucking Home and Away, Prisoner Cell Block H (or whatever it was) Skippy, Neighbours - Yes America - English puts a few extra letters in that word - as we do with the word Colour.

    Home and Away was another trial of torture...do Aussies just make programs to haunt their audience?

    But to answer your question / statement why would I want to fight for freedom when I could be a cheerfull chirpy cockney singing shit and dancing like an English faggot on the stage rather than carrying a gun to fight for my freedom?

    Loads of money! Thats why!

    Wot missis? Your son has been shot to bits fighting the Nazis.......oh you ave to larf don't ya! Stiff upper lip!

  21. #21
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    04-12-2019 @ 04:56 PM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,277
    I think the flat footed soldier ban was introduced because of football.
    How could a soldier be expected to beat the Bosch at an impromptu football match hastily arranged between shelling if a man had flat feet?
    Curved arches were needed to get any lift on a 10 tonne leather casey ball caked in mud and oomska.

  22. #22
    On a walkabout
    Loy Toy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    Today @ 05:08 AM
    Posts
    28,682
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Whilst australians were being used as cannon fodder on the beaches of Gallipoli
    That's a nasty comment even for a geriatric Pom.

  23. #23
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Funny I was able to dance and sign so well, but my feet were too flat to fight, never mind though!
    A robust pair of plimsolls would have seen you fair in finer fettle.

    Tell me, were your underpants sown to a urine stained vest?
    I really don't remember if my underpants were stitched to the vest or whether the caked on semen was holding the show together. It didn't smell very nice though, as well you should know!

  24. #24
    Newbie Tommysteeleflatfoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Last Online
    03-04-2012 @ 05:22 AM
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Whilst australians were being used as cannon fodder on the beaches of Gallipoli
    That's a nasty comment even for a geriatric Pom.
    Read it in context idiot!

    The fucking Australians were a damn site braver than the Brits! Don't try your smart arsed quoting out of context ! It is a joke! You will not find better people than Aussies, I would have an aussie as a friend any day over a Brit!

    They were shit on by the Brits at Gallipoli, they were shit on by the Brits, Canadians at Kapyong - in the Korean war - my utmost respects go to Aussies, despite them being fucking thieves and Crims!

    The Australians heve my every respect, they are one of the best people on this earth, they have the best sense of humour, they are one of the most honest people you could meet - and unlike an arrogant [at][at][at][at] like you they can take a fucking joke!

    Idiot!
    Last edited by Tommysteeleflatfoot; 02-04-2012 at 12:09 PM.

  25. #25
    On a walkabout
    Loy Toy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    Today @ 05:08 AM
    Posts
    28,682
    Quote Originally Posted by Tommysteeleflatfoot
    Read it in context idiot!
    What context moron?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •