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  1. #26
    Whopping Member
    benbaaa's Avatar
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    LOL



    Don't know which one I got wrong, but I reckon I'll be able to keep me passport.
    The sleep of reason brings forth monsters.

  2. #27
    On a walkabout
    Loy Toy's Avatar
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    I took the test and am quite happy with my score.

    5/10: Sorry Old Bean
    You just didn't cut the mustard.

  3. #28
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    Kurgen's Avatar
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    8/10 but as I haven't been back for 12 years that's pretty good.
    I would post pictures but life's too short.

  4. #29
    I am in Jail

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    These were the correct answers

    It's nice to see you, to see you______?
    Nice

    What is the correct response when someone drops a tray in the middle of a canteen?
    Applause

    Which one is Ant, and which is Dec?
    Ant (left), Dec (right)

    Do you want salt and vinegar?
    Yes

    When does the DFS sale come to an end?
    When hell freezes over

    Please complete the following question: Who do you think you are kidding Mr. ______?
    Hitler

    The UK is experiencing very hot weather. The headline in The Sun reads "phew what a ______"
    Scorcher

    You have met a girl from Greece. What might she have a thirst for?
    Knowledge

    You are at a football match. How might supporters of the opposing team be going home?
    In a f****** ambulance

    Which Second World War relic is housed in the Albert Hall?
    One of Hitler's testicles

  5. #30
    Whopping Member
    benbaaa's Avatar
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    I don't get the Greek girl question. (I answered Retsina). And I thought I answered something like Who cares? to the Ant and Dec question. But I scored 9/10.
    The sleep of reason brings forth monsters.

  6. #31
    I am in Jail

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    Pulp, Common People

    She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
    she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
    that's where I,
    caught her eye.
    She told me that her Dad was loaded,
    I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
    She said "Fine."
    and in thirty seconds time she said,

    "I want to live like common people,
    I want to do whatever common people do,
    I want to sleep with common people,
    I want to sleep with common people,
    like you."

  7. #32
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    nd I thought I answered something like Who cares? to the Ant and Dec question
    All 3 answers to that are probably correct

  8. #33
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    excellent,


    8/10.

    cant stand vinegar and cant tell ant from dec.
    +1

    Ant and who?

    What the hell is DFS
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  9. #34
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    Didn't take the test. Who wants to be from the UK? You guys need to take this test to measure your UK-ism? Kind of like Pubs. Only men and no women. Like a penal colony.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltnt
    Kind of like Pubs. Only men and no women. Like a penal colony.
    Or Jomtiem.
    I would post pictures but life's too short.

  11. #36
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal
    What the hell is DFS
    DFS sell sofas, and they continually have SALE posted at their stores




  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltnt View Post
    Didn't take the test. Who wants to be from the UK? You guys need to take this test to measure your UK-ism? Kind of like Pubs. Only men and no women. Like a penal colony.

    You should try pubs other than the Coleherne next time you visit the UK.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    The only time you lot are British is when the Lions tour and then when you lose (which is more often then not) you blame each other.

    From one that sits on the outside the rest of the time you lot hate each other with a passion.
    Yep you can tell that to the Yarpies in 74.
    Do you know what nemesis means?

  14. #39
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    4/10 but I grew up in the U.S.

  15. #40
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    Troy's Avatar
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    Didn't cut the Mustard with 7/10...

    Just as long as it wasn't my Colman's mustard I don't give a monkeys....

    No questions about pork pies or bangers and mash...or yorky puds....or real ale...or .....

    Couldn't have been compiled by a true Brit....

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    The only time you lot are British is when the Lions tour and then when you lose (which is more often then not) you blame each other.

    From one that sits on the outside the rest of the time you lot hate each other with a passion.
    Yep you can tell that to the Yarpies in 74.

    And the kiwis in 71.

  17. #42
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    Scored a fairly desultory 6/10. Thank Christ I will be reacquainting myself with the sceptered isle next month. I think.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kwang View Post
    Pulp, Common People

    She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
    she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
    that's where I,
    caught her eye.
    She told me that her Dad was loaded,
    I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
    She said "Fine."
    and in thirty seconds time she said,

    "I want to live like common people,
    I want to do whatever common people do,
    I want to sleep with common people,
    I want to sleep with common people,
    like you."
    Fuck, how could I have forgotten that? Got the CD still, saw 'em live loads of times. Must be getting old.
    The sleep of reason brings forth monsters.

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lostandfound View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    The only time you lot are British is when the Lions tour and then when you lose (which is more often then not) you blame each other.

    From one that sits on the outside the rest of the time you lot hate each other with a passion.
    Yeah. But not as much as we hate Ozzies


    Missed the boat did ya, been bitter ever since?

  20. #45
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    Troy's Avatar
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    Never tasted a decent bitter in Oz myself....:-)

  21. #46
    Whopping Member
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    I've just failed the Real practice test miserably. Fokking impossible.

    Question 11

    The number of children and young people up to the age of 19 in the UK is

    13 million
    14 million
    15 million
    16 million

    What on earth does this test, apart from your ability to remember an answer you've read somewhere? How does it help to determine if you can settle in the UK successfully?

    Life in the United Kingdom - The Official Practice Citizenship Test
    The sleep of reason brings forth monsters.

  22. #47
    Dislocated Member
    Neo's Avatar
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    Well done. Tea and scones at 3.30pm. Thanks, Liz x.
    Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lostandfound View Post
    Take the citizenship test:

    The Real UK Citizenship Test

    I scored 9/10. Obviously need to spend more time with Greek girls.



    This is worth a look!


  24. #49
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    6/10 .... Greaks i thought wanted a hand out and a gas mask in RAH.
    Dont know what the other wrong answers where.
    And i have just remembered the song Hitler has only one ball .

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    What on earth does this test, apart from your ability to remember an answer you've read somewhere? How does it help to determine if you can settle in the UK successfully?
    I think it is just a little satirical scam

    the real test asks questions like "what is the function of parliament" rather than all the nonsense people have been quoting
    I have reported your post

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