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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Caught Wanking by the Neighbours

    I was just celebrating the start of a new day by labouriously sexually assaulting myself to a rather pleasing collection of images which I inadvertently bumped into on www.donkeylove.com, when a rogue gust of wind caused my curtain to move and expose my room and its entire carnal contents.

    The young couple next door, whose bedroom is parallel to mine, bore witness to at least half a dozen strokes, as she cleaned down the mosquito nets* and he stood by conjuring plans for how they might spend a savoury weekend at a remote vineyard or the dishevelled ruins of a Sukhothai period temple.

    * The mosquito nets may have actually shielded the frenzy as I have them in my room too, but I think the pragmatic way to tackle this situation would be to march round to their place, bang on the door and accuse them of spying on me, and so much as a whiff of this to the other neighbours will result in a phone call to the cops.

  2. #2
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    I'd probably just move out. If I were you.

  3. #3
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    Living far too close to your neighbors, for my taste.

  4. #4
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwarner
    I'd probably just move out.
    Nooo need. You just turn the scenario around to make them look like the baddies.

    'I KNOW! I KNOW THE SHIT YOU LIKE TO GET UP TO,YOU RUDE, PERVERTED HI-SO GOOKS!'

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    Living far too close to your neighbors, for my taste.
    This is a temporary set up. Back in the sticks I could spend the day wanking on my balcony and the only interest it would pique would be a squawk from granny.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by alwarner
    I'd probably just move out.
    Nooo need. You just turn the scenario around to make them look like the baddies.

    'I KNOW! I KNOW THE SHIT YOU LIKE TO GET UP TO,YOU RUDE, PERVERTED HI-SO GOOKS!'
    ha ha I like your thinking. You might even get a rub off the neighbours bird, now that she has seen your superior European "technology".

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    Living far too close to your neighbors, for my taste.
    This is a temporary set up. Back in the sticks I could spend the day wanking on my balcony and the only interest it would pique would be a squawk from granny.

    So...what's become of Mrs. Slap?

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    Living far too close to your neighbors
    It's a fecking feather's frow away..


  9. #9
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwarner
    You might even get a rub off the neighbours bird, now that she has seen your superior European "technology".
    Doubtful. I'm expecting to come home to some offensive graffiti re my 'inadequate tackle' at some point.


    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    So...what's become of Mrs. Slap?
    Currently not on-hand to administer fellatio on demand. Mind you, that's been the case for half a fucking decade.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Anyway. They deserved to be subjected to the early morning visual feast. The nerve of some people, building a dog sanctuary next to my fucking bedroom window.



    Not normal dogs either. No, these are barng keaws and they snarl at you like you just beat their family.

  11. #11
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    Salp, do time for a return to your home of birth I think. Life in LOS has reduced you to a hand maiden. Way to much time on your HANDS!

  12. #12
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    I can't believe I clicked on that link.

  13. #13
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    I can't believe I clicked on that link.
    Pants down?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    when a rogue gust of wind caused my curtain to move and expose my room and its entire carnal contents.
    and you expect us to believe you, exhibitionist?

    wanker, as they say

  15. #15
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    They must have been deeply shocked. The husband probably said "See love, THAT'S how you're supposed to clean it".

  16. #16
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    when a rogue gust of wind caused my curtain to move and expose my room and its entire carnal contents.
    You could get your wife to go round and apologise ,, explaining to them you were merely trying to free a mossie trapped under your foreskin

  17. #17
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    I was just celebrating the start of a new day by labouriously sexually assaulting myself to a rather pleasing collection of images which I inadvertently bumped into on www.donkeylove.com, when a rogue gust of wind caused my curtain to move and expose my room and its entire carnal contents.

    The young couple next door, whose bedroom is parallel to mine, bore witness to at least half a dozen strokes, as she cleaned down the mosquito nets* and he stood by conjuring plans for how they might spend a savoury weekend at a remote vineyard or the dishevelled ruins of a Sukhothai period temple.

    * The mosquito nets may have actually shielded the frenzy as I have them in my room too, but I think the pragmatic way to tackle this situation would be to march round to their place, bang on the door and accuse them of spying on me, and so much as a whiff of this to the other neighbours will result in a phone call to the cops.
    What the fuck?? She did not even drop her top to give you a nippy peek to speed you on your way??. Selfish cow.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    I can't believe I clicked on that link.
    Pants down?
    Is that a request? You peoples is fuked up; I don't even want to comment on Mr Slaps...


  19. #19
    I am in Jail

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    I like wanking in the Barbers, whilst pretending to clean my glasses

  20. #20
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    damn, I haven't got glasses

    will sunglasses be OK?

  21. #21
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    It could be worse Somtamslap. You could be this guy.


  22. #22
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kwang View Post
    I like wanking in the Barbers, whilst pretending to clean my glasses
    You could imply that you've seen the old lady eating noodles, and give her a cheeky wink.



    ...or invite them to view your brass rubbing collection?

  23. #23
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    I love to wank at work
    It's better than in the shower
    Cos when I wank at work
    I'm on 50 bucks an hour

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
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    The best form of defense is attack. I'm currently seeking a suitable vantage point to catch them at it - he's just come back from the market with a large sack of root vegetables, so I'd say contact is pending.
    Should Mr. and Mrs. Hi-So Twat dare mention my morning soiree, they're gonna meet Youtube before you can say 'Gosh, Sombat! That's a big marrow!'

  25. #25
    Pedantic bastard
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    ^ just so I get this right, you think that adding peeping tom to exhibitionist is the way forward?

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