View Poll Results: Do you follow the convulsive hand waving of Thai parking lot security guards?

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  • Yes, I put my full faith in these fine deligent folks.

    1 6.67%
  • Never. They could not park a 7-11 hotdog in their own mouth.

    10 66.67%
  • I dinged my car once because of one of those idiots!

    0 0%
  • I do not own a vehicle in Thailand.

    4 26.67%
Results 1 to 21 of 21
  1. #1
    My kind of town
    chitown's Avatar
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    Parking Lot / Garage Security Guards

    I have been parking my vehicles for years by myself. Lately, I have been observing Thai security guards directing people into spots and lanes in shopping malls. They do not really look and often wave cars on with motorbikes and cars rapidly approaching. I also know several farangs that have dinged up their vehicles by trusting in the guard's instructions. The other day I had 3 of them all trying to direct me into a spot and not one of them was giving me the same direction. One was blowing his whistle and signaling me to stop, the other was waving his hands for nothing, and the third was not really paying attention but motioning for me to back up anyhow.

    Do you follow the convulsive hand waving of Thai security guards when you are backing your car in a parking spot?

    Or as you Brits call it - Car Park

  2. #2
    Excitable Boy
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    My car came equipped with several mirrors which allow me to do the job by myself.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    my truck came with strong bumpers so I can do what I like

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Tell them to go away, especially if blowing the whistle. The problem I have is they are never around when a row of cars has parked in front of you and each has to be physically moved for you to get out.

  5. #5
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    They quite enjoy the miniaturized version of power and control.

    They have no real authority to suggest where you do or don't park...

    Ignore them. Tell 'em to fuck off.


    The whole concept of parking directive attendants [in quasi military attire] amongst an area of self-parking [thousand-plus] slots is quite incredulous.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    One directed me to an empty space the other day. I was very happy with the service and tipped him with a nod of my head.

  7. #7
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    ask him if he would mind blowing on your knob instead of the whistle

  8. #8
    My kind of town
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    I used to say to them - Pood pasa nok weed mai dai - I do not speak whistle!

  9. #9
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    ^ & ^^ is it nice?

  10. #10
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    Ah, the retarded chimp level of Thai, what a spectacle to behold.



    Calling them monkeys would be an insult to monkeys.

  11. #11
    Member arfursixpence's Avatar
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    They seem to give a retard a uniform and a whistle, and if you look what the retard does, he waits until there are no cars coming, then he blows his whistle with great importance. Like the Thai Army!

    Then take a look at the normal situation, the retard has absolutely no power, so if there is a lot of traffic, the retard makes you wait!

    Generally, I ignore them they are a useless bunch of twats, it is only places like Carrefour and Tesco, where in the really hot sun, they take care of your windscreen with a rag from their mothers bed, that is probably pissed stained anyway. (Most of them are just trying to make a living, so I shouldn't be so harsh.) Up where I am, we have a busy junction, and this old fucking witch/crow that has this shack like the worst piece of shit you could ever finf in the world, probably worse than anything in Nigeria -

    She offered parking spots for the motorbikes for about 5 baht a day, but BUT!!!!! When you got back from the city and picked up the bike, you and the bike stunck of cat piss and shit for a month.

    She covered your seats with cat piss rags, then let the cats shit and piss everywhere, even her own bedroom (which you can see from the road must have 100 cats and a thousand cat turds) fucking disgusting! If anyone is looking for a property near Chiang Mai, I can negotiate! Seriously, it is fucking horrific!

    Seriously though, I wouldn't want that job, nobody gives a flying fuck about them and their whistles, they only look for a gap in the traffic to look important, besides, most Thais couldn't reverse if their lives depended on it!

    Try stopping the traffic from my place to let some idiot that barely has reversing skills to reverse out......there is a lot of whistle blowing, but no one gives a fuck!
    Last edited by arfursixpence; 25-02-2012 at 12:09 AM.

  12. #12
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    I like when it's busy on a normal street in Bangkok and a motosai taxi retard takes on the job of traffic policeman. Despite being nothing more than a motosai taxi peasant/monkey. Educated to the age of six and possessing the knowledge of a chocolate wafer biscuit.


    Fucking retards.

    I'm just waiting for the day I see one of them cleaned out by a Hilux, which doesn't even stop to take the orange vest off its tow hitch.

  13. #13
    Member arfursixpence's Avatar
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    You have to laugh though, they stand outside of the Krung Thai Bank where we are, they don't dare to blow their whistles until the road is clear as everyone would just run the fuckers over - Jobsworths!

    They probably would get sued for any dents in the customers cars that they tried to back out into the oncoming traffic that simply treats them with complete contempt -what a fucking terrible job!.

    Do you think they go home and feel they have worked hard or do they do that Thai thing "Kriet Gin Lao"

    I don't mean to do them down, but really, they have as much authority on the road as a Soi Dog, and the sad thing is, they seem to know it! They seem to wait until they have 100 metres of free traffic before they dare blow the whistle!.

    I had to laugh a couple of years back, where my wifes sister was staying in Bangkok, apparently, cunts would park their cars in the lanes to get out of the car parks (Benzes) with their handbrakes on and no one could move them......and the poor Thai people would wait like 2 hours until mister important came back to move his car!!! Can you imagine this?

    The ignorance and superiority that these bastards think they must have over the common people in a pickup!

    I had a twat park his Benz so close to my scratched up Toyota pick up in our Carrefour car park, I could not open the door to put the bags of shopping in, I doubt it will be me weeping when he sees the fucking dents and scratches on the paintwork! I just use my arse to open my door, and if the fuckwit is blocking me well......tough shit! My car is a bit of a mess already, why risk your Benz!
    Last edited by arfursixpence; 25-02-2012 at 12:46 AM.

  14. #14
    The Pikey Hunter
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    No idea. My driver handles these details.

  15. #15
    Member arfursixpence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil View Post
    No idea. My driver handles these details.
    Sadly my wife doesn't drive (except me around the twist) and my kid is only 10.

  16. #16
    Member arfursixpence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chairman Mao View Post
    I like when it's busy on a normal street in Bangkok and a motosai taxi retard takes on the job of traffic policeman. Despite being nothing more than a motosai taxi peasant/monkey. Educated to the age of six and possessing the knowledge of a chocolate wafer biscuit.


    Fucking retards.

    I'm just waiting for the day I see one of them cleaned out by a Hilux, which doesn't even stop to take the orange vest off its tow hitch.
    Me, I am waiting for the day when the Police Escoretd VIP (Very Ignorant Pricks) in their buses go through our local traffic lights and take out a few of the lesser speices that cannot tell red from green.

    They drive through the red lights on their 3 wheel fucking chariots, but if they actually recognise a red light and stop - Don't hold your breath when the light changes to green - you have to almost push these idiots into the traffic!

    You get in queue in traffic here, at a red light and by the time Grandpa in his 50 year old Mazda Familia has realised the light is green, the fucker is red again!

    You could end up like some sort of dead corpse waiting for these fuckers to actually move.

  17. #17
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    My g/f sometimes will take my daughter to school or collects her from time to time , she is a very good considerate / safe/ driver, & would prefure my g/f, to do this a lot more often ? as she says we never come across any , F-cking Retards! Brain dead idiots! Monkeys! Arseholes! Want to die motherf-ckers! Blind bastards!
    Or did you see that! she doesnt even want all large blue bus drivers & baht bus drivers publicly exicuted! or some policemen in uniform with 3 kids no helmets on a bike sent to the south of Thailand ! & some of my school puples trying to commit suicide doing wheelies on there honda wave across the sukumvit she never says die Arsehole! dad your G/F, is cool , Oh No !!.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chairman Mao
    I like when it's busy on a normal street in Bangkok and a motosai taxi retard takes on the job of traffic policeman. Despite being nothing more than a motosai taxi peasant/monkey. Educated to the age of six and possessing the knowledge of a chocolate wafer biscuit.
    And strangely, still seem to do a better job than the police.

  19. #19
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    ^ Probably as everyone ignores him and continues on as they were.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
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    i quite like the whistle blowers, i mostly stop and smile whist they tweet away, seems to make em blow harder

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    ^ give your local bargirl a whistle

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