Thread: Manchester Utd

Martinez and Mainoo suspended for WEDNESDAY'S game at the home of the quinoa--munching Notting Hill fannies.

Luke Shaw injured again too. It's time to call it a day, Luke.

That will leave us a little light on the left as it looks like Evans is also injured.

The injuries are mounting up again.

Fortunately, Yoro is in the squad and should get a few minutes. Maguire to come in, perhaps, and play the full 90. Both players will be important against these small club types reliant on set pieces for goals.

Forest on Saturday when we can get back to playing football again, but there won't me much of that tonight against this Mikael Allardyce side.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

injuries

Here we go.....

Originally Posted by Edmond

Here we go.....

I may have previously mentioned our ongoing plight in this regard, perhaps.

And the fucking excuses are coming out already.

What's your score prediction Hal?

I see goals for Saka, Rice and Trossard.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

And the fucking excuses are coming out already.

What's your score prediction Hal?

I see goals for Saka, Rice and Trossard.

Own goals?

5-0 to United.

I wonder if we'll revert to 4 at the back tonight in light of our INJURIES.

De Ligt and Maguire to deal with the aerial threat from Bolton.

Don't be stupid, you'll do your usual 5-4-1 formation and try and hoof it forward for Rashford again.

Done over by the reincarnation of Bassett's Wimbledon, Allardyce's Bolton and another crap VAR decision.

Imagine paying to watch that set piece tedium every week at the library.

Absolute shit on a stick.

CITY WIN!
UTD LOSE!
OH CITY, YOU GOT ME SINGING THE BLUES!

Don't be depressed Hal, perhaps they'll do another competition below the Conference league.

All you need is lots of corners for the rest of the season!
#tapinfannies

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Nailed it.

As one of our fellow Gooners opined:

"We’ve seen it many times, these mid/low placed sides coming to Emirates, well organised, determined and putting a shift in to frustrate but not really offering anything offensively. When we do break them down however they have no comeback."

5 years in the job and your only tactics are to play like Stoke.

And guess what?

You'll be winning as much as Stoke again in May.



Can't wait to absolutely belt you all over in the cup with a proper referee.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Can't wait to absolutely belt you all over in the cup with a proper referee.

More fucking 5-4-1, you won't be belting anyone. When's the derby?

Send the useless twunt off to the Pritt-Stick factory.

Rasmus Højlund Characteristics

+ Strengths

(Player has no significant strengths)


- Weaknesses

Aerial Duels
Weak

Defensive contribution
Weak

Rasmus Hojlund Stats - Goals, xG, Assists & Career Stats | FootyStats



Oh man, it's like Fawlty Towers in written form.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Well, what a couple of goals they were for the greatest young striker in Europe.

Goal of the week, in fact, was the first according to UEFA.

Sublime said the Guardian.

Super talented young player said Owen Hargreaves.

Magnificent said, er, Robbie Savage.




I know said hal.

Because hal always knows.



Since joining Manchester United, Rasmus Højlund has scored 8 non-penalty goals in just 11 matches across European competitions. No player aged 25 or under has scored more in that period.

https://x.com/StatmanDave/status/1862474415709024411

Because hal always knows.



Meanwhile, somewhere on the south coast, Brighton are chasing goals and Poundshop O' Turd is still stuck on the bench. In fact, once again, as they did against Liverpool when chasing a goal, they brought on defenders before him against Southampton when chasing a goal.



Rumour has it he's now up for sale in January, but a loan will be considered if they can't get rid.

Scunthorpe are reported to be interested.

I'll just refer the proper weird wanker above, who doesn't even have a fucking team, to the post above.




Reckon your mate will get more than 2 or 3 minutes off the bemch tonight?

I doubt it.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

More fucking 5-4-1, you won't be belting anyone. When's the derby?

6 seasons, not 5, isn't it?

And your only tactic is to play for corners like Stoke.

One manager came with a plan.

And one manager came with a set piece coach.

Portugal boss Roberto MartÃ[at]nez was on punditry duty for the Amazon Prime Sport clash and offered his assessment on the game after full-time.

He believed that ArsenalÂ’s delivery from set-pieces made the difference for the winners and compared ArtetaÂ’s strategy to that of former Stoke City manager Tony Pulis.

“We all suffered Stoke, and I think it is a great credit to remember Tony Pulis and the work that he did."



You just need Rory Delap from throw ins and you'll be well set to emulate Pulis.

What an embarrassment, you fucking fannies.

Originally Posted by Edmond

Rasmus Højlund

Originally Posted by hallelujah

weird wanker above

I wouldn't call him weird.


The signing of him, yes, the fee, yes, him, no.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

What an embarrassment

Indeed.

Originally Posted by Edmond

I wouldn't call him weird.


The signing of him, yes, the fee, yes, him, no.

Let's cut to the chase.

Hojlund goals since December 23: 15

(4th highest conversion rate of any Prem striker since signing I read on Twatter the other week).

Poundshop goals since December 23: 1



(Stuck on the bench with his club desperately trying to sell him in January).

Yes, I think we can definitely put this one to bed, can't we?

Originally Posted by hallelujah

put this one to bed

Oh, it certainly has been.

More PL goals, more PL assists.... in fewer (not less, thanks Nev) PL games, and fewer PL minutes. :-)


Oh you evil foooker Ed.

Originally Posted by Edmond

and fewer PL minutes.

And why do you think that is?

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Poundshop goals since December 23: 1



(Stuck on the bench with his club desperately trying to sell him in January).

Because he's fucking shite.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

he's fucking shite.

So the older forward bloke with les... fewer PL goals and fewer PL assists, in more PL games and more PL minutes is.......?

Seriously Hal, if all you're going to do is put 9 men in defence and hoof it to Rashford, you could have got Howard Wilkinson a lot cheaper.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Seriously Hal, if all you're going to do is put 9 men in defence and hoof it to Rashford, you could have got Howard Wilkinson a lot cheaper.

Rashford didn't come on until the 60 oddth minute and there was only one team looking to play football in that game.



And it certainly wasn't the team playing for set pieces.

Honestly, harry, you might as well sack Legohead and just keep your set piece coach.

Imagine being that awful to watch that your fans cheer corner kicks?

Absolute shit on a stick you play.

And that's why you'll never win anything.



Pulis will be made up to see you perfect his work so well though, I'm sure.

Best bit is, as long as the FA Cup game isn't on a Sunday, I might be able to go.

So, in the meantime, the boys will be on the training ground and studying videos of how to deal with teams like Wimbledon, Bolton, Burnley and Stoke and we'll hopefully get a referee wise to your fouling at corners.

And then I'll be sinking a pint in the Drayton - for old time's sake - after we've given you a hammering and ended your season in January.

Love it.