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  1. #3076
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    Now the ashes are secured the aussie selectors should try a totally new opening combo. Warner needs to go and Harris 4 failures in a row. Pick a fresh combo and see what happens. Nothing to lose.

    Even if they have to fly someone in.

  2. #3077
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    I had a bet with a Pom that Smith would outscore Root in the previous ashes series in Australia, which he did and the fucker disappeared from the bar he usually drank without paying me 2,000 Baht. Wouldn't answer his calls or line messages either.

    I have been told recently where he is now drinking so I'll be off to see him asking for 4,000 Baht as I assumed, and as the first wager had not been paid the bet was ongoing.

    And as for the pom, convict, unwashed, Abo comments it is all part of the banter.

    FFS there is not a week go by whereby I hear a Pom reminding some other fucker about 1966.

    Anyway some great nail biting test cricket which is an event created by both sides performances.

    And I predict Warner to score a century now the pressure is off and the umpiring/ DNS to be scrutinised with much needed changes to be made!

  3. #3078
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    No please no more Warner opening. Time to move on. Think about the next 4 years.

  4. #3079
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    Glass houses pal.

    You poms can dish it out but sook when you get it back.
    Seems to have a bit of truth to it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    That's why nobody likes poms.
    Just as valid as other generalisations





    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    The Poms could do with some sportsmanship led by Stokes.
    And he's a Kiwi


    At the end of the day it's a great history of competition and saying 'nobody in the whole world likes you' is simply childish whichever side it comes from and has nothing on the sledges that have been part and parcel for a long time.


    https://sabotagetimes.com/sport/ashes-sledges

    25. Ian Chappell to Derek Underwood
    England slow left-arm bowler Derek Underwood was hit on the hand while batting. Ian Chappell surprised Underwood with his concern.
    Chappell: “How’s the hand, which one was it?”
    Underwood: “It was my right.”
    Chappell: “That’s a shame. We were aiming for the left.”

    24. Ian Botham to Rodney Hogg

    As Rodney Hogg bowled to Ian Botham he lost his balance and fell at the England player's feet.
    Botham: "I know you think I'm great Hoggy, but no need to get down on your knees."

    23. Glenn McGrath to Michael Atherton

    Australia’s Glenn McGrath tried out an old Australian classic on England captain Michael Atherton, who fell for it hook, line and sinker
    McGrath: "Athers, it would help if you got rid of the shit at the end of your bat."
    Atherton looks at the bottom of his bat.
    McGrath: "No, No, the other end."

    22. Craig McDermott to Phil Tufnell

    Phil Tufnell had just bowled out Craig McDermott and was looking pleased with himself. McDermott did not let the feeling last long.
    McDermott: "You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tuffers. Hospital food suit you?"

    21. Michael Vaughan to Ricky Ponting

    The England captain Michael Vaughan arrived at the wicket to a volley of abuse from his Aussie counterpart Ricky Ponting, who he quickly put in his place.
    Vaughan: “Get back to the slips, Ponting. Who do you think you are, Steve Waugh?”

    20. Ian Healey to Nasser Hussain

    England skipper Nasser Hussain was at the crease. Steve Waugh, Ricky Ponting and Ian Healy discussed fielding tactics.
    Waugh (to Ponting): “Field at silly point. I want you right under his nose.
    Healy: “That could be anywhere inside a three-mile radius.”

    19. Nasser Hussain to Justin Langer

    Hussain didn’t mind being sledged by the legendary figures of Australian cricket, but he wasn’t going to take abuse from the likes of Justin Langer.
    Hussain: "I don't mind this lot chirping at me but you're just the bus driver."

    18. Australian fan to Phil Tufnell

    It’s not just the Australian players that love abusing English cricketers. Even the Aussie fans like to get in on the gag.
    Aussie fan: "Oi Tuffers, lend us your brain, I'm trying to build an idiot."

    17. English fan to Matthew Hayden

    English cricket fans aren’t above this sort of thing either, as one proved when abusing Matthew Hayden over his cricket skills shortly after the Aussie opener had released a cook book.
    English fan: “You’re shit Hayden, and so is your chicken casserole.”

    16. Merv Hughes to Graham Gooch

    Hughes had sent several fast deliveries whistling past Graham Gooch, before dispatching the following verbal knockout punch.
    Hughes: “I’ll get you a fucking piano you Pommie poofta. Let’s see if you can play that.”

    15. Robin Smith to Merv Hughes

    England’s Robin Smith demonstrates to Merv Hughes the dangers of sledging just before you’re about to bowl to someone.
    Hughes: "You can't fucking bat."
    Smith hits Hughes for four.
    Smith: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't fucking bat and you can't fucking bowl."

    14. Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting

    There’s no easier target for a joke than a fat man, as Dennis Lillee proved with the former England captain Mike Gatting.
    Lillee: "Hell, Gatt, move out of the way, I can't see the stumps."

    13. Derek Randall to Dennis Lillee

    Derek Randall proves that the English are the kings of self-effacement, having been hit on the head with a bouncer, bowled by Dennis Lillee.
    Randall: "No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage."

    12. Australian fan to Bob Willis

    Former England bowler Bob Willis is 6ft 5” tall, which explains the following remark to him from an Australian spectator.
    Aussie fan: "Oi, Willis, I didn't know they could stack shit that high."

    11. David Steele to Rodney Marsh

    David Steele made a successful prediction to Rodney Marsh in what was to prove a glorious series for the new England batsman.
    Steele: "Take a good look at this arse of mine, you'll see plenty of it this summer."

    10. Bill Woodfull to Douglas Jardine

    In the infamous ‘Bodyline’ series, prim and proper England captain Douglas Jardine complained to Australian captain Bill Woodfull, having just been sworn at.
    Jardine: "Your slip just swore at me."
    Woodfull: "All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?"

    9. Phil Tufnell to The Umpire

    An angry Phil Tufnell took his frustration out on the umpire after his appeal against Dean Jones was turned down.
    Tufnell: “Are you bloody blind?”
    Umpire: “I beg your pardon?”
    Tufnell: “Are you fucking deaf as well?”

    8. Tim Zoehrer to Phil Edmonds

    Australia’s Tim Zoehrer lost his patience at the constant abuse coming his way from Phil Edmonds - husband to a famous author.
    Zoehrer: "At least I have an identity. You're just Frances Edmonds' husband."

    7. Robin Smith to Merv Hughes II

    Smith got the better of his nemesis Merv Hughes once again.
    Hughes: "It's four years since I bowled to you and you haven't improved"
    Smith hits Hughes for four.
    Smith: "Neither have you."

    6. Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick

    England batsman Graeme Hick never fulfilled his talent at international level and Hughes was quick to put the boot in during one innings.
    Hughes: "Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the other side."

    5. Michael Atherton to Ian Healey

    Michael Atherton had the perfect reply for Ian Healy when accused of cheating.
    Healey: "You're a fucking cheat."
    Atherton: "When in Rome dear boy..."

    4. David Hookes to Tony Greig

    Tony Greig was a South African playing for England, which meant that he was always on shaky ground when sledging others, as the Australia youngster David Hookes proved.
    Greig: "When are your balls going to drop sonny?"
    Hookes: "I don’t know, but at least I’m playing cricket for my own country."

    3. Shane Warne to Paul Collingwood

    It wasn’t particularly witty but this rant from Shane Warne to Paul Collingwood does quite brutally expose the truth of England’s overreaction at winning the 2005 Ashes.
    Warne: “You’ve got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at The Oval? You’re an embarrassment.”

    2. Ian Botham to Rodney Marsh

    As Ian Botham prepared to bat, Aussie wicket keeper Rodney Marsh decided to put him off and was metaphorically smashed out of the ground.
    Marsh: "So how's your wife and my kids?"
    Botham: "The wife's fine - the kids are retarded."

    1. James Ormond to Mark Waugh

    The little known England bowler James Ormond was preparing to bowl to Mark Waugh - one of the legendary Waugh brothers.
    Waugh: "Fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
    Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family".
    Last edited by panama hat; 09-09-2019 at 07:17 AM.

  5. #3080
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    So who likes Poms? Might be a generalisation but it's true. People just pretend to like them to extract money from them.

  6. #3081
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    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah View Post
    Mate, we give it out and take it better than anyone. That's what being English is all about.
    Ah, I was wondering what 'being English was all about . . . . . . that would make for great aspirational posters

  7. #3082
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    Healy to the Sri Lankian captain Ranatunga
    "You can't get a runner for being fat and unfit"
    " put a mars bar on a length, that will get him out of the crease"

  8. #3083
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    So who likes Poms? Might be a generalisation but it's true. People just pretend to like them to extract money from them.
    I dunno.

    Although I do think there's a reason why people from all over the world fly to London - not Canberra - to discover and immerse themselves in the culture and great history of the UK.

    You might wanna ask yourself why that is when you get past that big chip on your shoulder, you pathetic bogan.


  9. #3084
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    https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewb.../#4301be3c2368

    Poms right up there for being rude

    Well done poms. Top 3!

    Nice 2nd in the cricket as well lol

  10. #3085
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    Hiilarious, a load of blokes from a country of cheats lecturing on popularity and behaviour. we might not win the Ashes until 2031 but i'm fairly sure well see more press conferences with popular ozzie professional cricketers crying coz their DNA betrayed them. The price of success

  11. #3086
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    Now back to the cricket.

    I am still trying to work out the following:

    1. Both sides top order batting is shite?

    2. Or both sides bowling is so good the opposition top order fails?

    3. The wickets so far seem very bowler friendly compared to English wickets of the past. Lots of bounce, seam and spin?

    The only things I am sure about is:

    1. Warner is shite.

    2. Broad is a top line strike bowler

    3. The Aussies do not have a top line strike bowler although their attack is very solid.

    4. Root is not a captain and should concentrate on his batting.

    5. Smith is the difference between the sides.

    6. The umpiring being atrocious has been favouring England on most close call occasions.

    Anyway the Ashes remain down under and hopefully the Aussies can find some new batting talent to support Smith.

  12. #3087
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    I am still trying to work out the following:

    1. Both sides top order batting is shite?

    As was said before the series.


    2. Or both sides bowling is so good the opposition top order fails?

    See above.

    3. The wickets so far seem very bowler friendly compared to English wickets of the past. Lots of bounce, seam and spin?

    See above.


    The only things I am sure about is:

    2. Broad is a top line strike bowler

    Has this really ever been questioned?


    5. Smith is the difference between the sides.

    Yes, clearly. See above.

    6. The umpiring being atrocious has been favouring England on most close call occasions.

    You need to learn the rules of cricket. Ask your captain for further information.

  13. #3088
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Now back to the cricket.

    I am still trying to work out the following:

    1. Both sides top order batting is shite?

    2. Or both sides bowling is so good the opposition top order fails?

    3. The wickets so far seem very bowler friendly compared to English wickets of the past. Lots of bounce, seam and spin?

    The only things I am sure about is:

    1. Warner is shite.

    2. Broad is a top line strike bowler

    3. The Aussies do not have a top line strike bowler although their attack is very solid.

    4. Root is not a captain and should concentrate on his batting.

    5. Smith is the difference between the sides.

    6. The umpiring being atrocious has been favouring England on most close call occasions.

    Anyway the Ashes remain down under and hopefully the Aussies can find some new batting talent to support Smith.
    Combo of both. Average batsmen and good bowlers.
    Broad is awesome against left handers but not the same against right handers.
    Cummins has a better strike rate than Broad and better average.

    The aussie openers have been terrible so it probably looks like Broad is out bowling Cummins but that's not the csse.

  14. #3089
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    The wickets hold together more now so bowling on day 5 isnt as easy as it was. Cummins and Hazelwood bowled well all day but the pitch only stayed low a couple of times. In the past batting on day 5 was a nightmare.

  15. #3090
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    Gee such great insults and knowledge about cricket. I feel sorry for you.
    So, no answer then?



    A few words of advice, sunshine: you need to stop confusing your aspirations with your capabilities if you're gonna take me on again.

  16. #3091
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    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah View Post
    So, no answer then?



    A few words of advice, sunshine: you need to stop confusing your aspirations with your capabilities if you're gonna take me on again.
    Answer to what? You have just embarassed yourself sunshine. You're very special.

  17. #3092
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    The wickets hold together more now so bowling on day 5 isnt as easy as it was. Cummins and Hazelwood bowled well all day but the pitch only stayed low a couple of times. In the past batting on day 5 was a nightmare.
    ?A?A???A?A?

    Say what? Do you need a lie down?


  18. #3093
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamPikToot View Post
    Hiilarious, a load of blokes from a country of cheats lecturing on popularity and behaviour. we might not win the Ashes until 2031 but i'm fairly sure well see more press conferences with popular ozzie professional cricketers crying coz their DNA betrayed them. The price of success
    Not bitter at all I see

  19. #3094
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    Quote Originally Posted by hallelujah View Post
    ?A?A???A?A?

    Say what? Do you need a lie down?

    I see you know nothing about cricket.

  20. #3095
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasher View Post
    Answer to what? You have just embarassed yourself sunshine. You're very special.
    See above. I'm not sure you're even thinking in the same language at the moment.


  21. #3096
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    Agree with most of what Loy says but imho broad is the only quality bowler with anderson absent. i hope someone bites the bullet and does two things; put root 4 and remove the Captaincy - no disgrace there just pragmatism, bring in some younger blood and accept it'll take time for them to develope - putting in cricketers in their twilight 30+ yo is a waste of time and delaying the inevitable.

  22. #3097
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    Hal you are wasting your time, as we exported his forebares from the uk we have to take some responsibility for leaving the abbos to cope with retards like him. Sorry Oz

  23. #3098
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    I think Jofra Archer is a real find, and has bowled with genuine menace, real pace, and taken good wickets. Smith obviously the big difference between the two sides, and Australia deservedly retaining the Ashes.

  24. #3099
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    Quote Originally Posted by kmart View Post
    I think Jofra Archer is a real find, and has bowled with genuine menace, real pace, and taken good wickets. Smith obviously the big difference between the two sides, and Australia deservedly retaining the Ashes.
    They lose Broad and Anderson soon. That's a big loss.

  25. #3100
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    Bowling avgs

    England

    Cummins 17.4
    Anderson 23.7
    Broad 26.7

    Aus
    Cummins 20.9
    Anderson 35
    Broad 37

    That's pretty handy for Cummins. Short career thus far but far superior in both countries

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