Review the last film you watched

[Humbert]

I fast-forwarded through the contentious water on cobble-stone scenes

It's a garage floor of patterned stone tiles. If somebody describes that as cobble stones I doubt they were paying attention to the film at all.

[tomcat]

If somebody describes that as cobble stones I doubt they were paying attention to the film at all

..or born in a time or place when garage floors were cobbled rather than tiled...

[Humbert]

I'll give it a go but with John C Reilly as a lead, and him being type-cast in my mind from the likes of Taladega Nights and Step Brothers, he will always be a Will Ferrel sidekick to me.

A gifted and prolifc character actor who, aside from comedy, was a stand out in such dramatic films as The Hours, Magnolia and Boogie Nights. His best film, a work of comedic genius, is Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.

[Maanaam]

It's a garage floor of patterned stone tiles. If somebody describes that as cobble stones I doubt they were paying attention to the film at all.

It's a bit hard to keep paying attention to 5 minutes of suds washing over a surface. There wasn't even a dog dropping to break the monotony.
Do you enjoy watching paint dry, too?

[Looper]

It's a garage floor of patterned stone tiles. If somebody describes that as cobble stones I doubt they were paying attention to the film at all.

I think this may be the clue to resolving the tiles/cobbles conundrum.

Tiles are thin and have grouting in the gaps and are more fragile than cobbles. They are generally for pedestrian traffic rather than heavy vehicles.

Cobbles on the other hand and in the classic sense are are typically rounded on the upper surface which these 'garage tiles' are not but these 'garage tiles' are for vehicles, and do not have any grouting.

If you were buyng these in Bunnings and they were large they would be called 'pavers' but the smaller ones are usually called paving bricks.

On balance, and despite the flat upper surfaces, I would say these are closer to cobbles than to tiles.


Anyway, back to the film criticism. The problem I had with the movie was the lack of satisfying narrative arc. It seems to just wander aimlessly for 2 hours.

It was beautifully filmed but it is almost as if the director is saying 'I have put so much effort into the cinematography, presentation and mood that I am not even going to try with any kind of story bcoz I is an artist'

I don't think it would have done any harm to have had a more involving storyline.

[Humbert]

It's a bit hard to keep paying attention to 5 minutes of suds washing over a surface. There wasn't even a dog dropping to break the monotony.

It was the background for the opening credits you moron. What do you expect, a car crash?

[Maanaam]

It was the background for the opening credits you moron. What do you expect, a car crash?

Getting a bit touchy there Humbert, with your artsyier-than-thou superiority.
FFS.

[Dragonfly]

ok so what is the movie Humbert is referring to, sounds very very gay, so definitely need to give it a try

[OhOh]

A molecular biologist and his laboratory partner uncover evidence that may fundamentally change society as we know it.

https://1337x.to/torrent/996970/I-Origins-2014-HDRip-XviD-iFT/

Exploring scientific connectivity and religious beliefs. 6/10

[Humbert]

ok so what is the movie Humbert is referring to, sounds very very gay, so definitely need to give it a try

If washing poop down a drain in a tile floor is your idea of 'gay' we can only wonder at what depravities you have experience with.

[Maanaam]

But washing poop down a drain in a tile floor is your idea of art, though.
Seems POVs are different all over the world.

[OhOh]

^And appear to be unacceptable to some.

[tomcat]

Seems POVs are different all over the world.

^And appear to be unacceptable to some.

...Captain Insidious attempts a sly diversion...

[Looper]

The Vanishing/Keepers

Not your typical netflix this being set on a Scottish lighthouse. The 3 keepers find a trove of loot and the situation spirals in way reminiscent of another scottish movie from 25 years ago - Shallow Grave.

Spoiled only by excessive use of 'wobbly-cam' by the director to 'add tension'. There really is no excuse for this cinematographical muppetry in 2019 when any amateur videographer can afford a gimbal.

7.3/10

[kmart]

The House That Jack Built. 2018.


Disturbing, ultra-black humour chiller about a serial killer (with hilarious OCD tendencies), played by Matt Dillon. Mixing high art and appraisals for William Blake with random acts of psychopathic violence, the director seems to be having a laugh with this one. Certainly an uncompromising film with good performances by Dillon, Bruno Ganz, and Uma Thurman amongst other stars.
I enjoyed it, but not everyone's taste. 8/10.

[tomcat]

...Green Book: many predictable plot elements (a white man driving a black man in the south of the early 60s? What could possible happen?), but generally well-executed set scenes highlighting the acting skills of Mahershala Ali...an entertaining watch...

[Dragonfly]

^^ nice, looks like a winner

[harrybarracuda]

the director seems to be having a laugh with this one.

He seems to be having a laugh with everything he makes.

I have no idea where he gets the money from, his films are mostly extremely niche projects and must lose money, but he does get respectable casts somehow; actors seem to want to be in his films.

Try Nymphomaniac Part I and Part II.

You'll spend most of the time going "WTF?".

[Davis Knowlton]

^I'm about an hour into it. Strange. No idea what the fuck it's about, but Dillon's acting is better than I anticipated....I think.


Wow. Just finished it. Waaaay beyond weird. So bizarre it was sorta entertaining, although I can't imagine many folks who would pay to watch it.

[Looper]

Green Book: many predictable plot elements

Yes, it is a nice feelgood movie if a tad formulaic. Never takes any risks or goes anywhere you are not expecting.

Politically it manages to be both predictable (for the 2019 audience) and far fetched (within the 1962 setting)

We need a word for this dramatisation crime of transposing modern-day politics into historical scenarios to make them resonate with today's audiences.

Interesting to know that the real Tony Lip went on to have an acting career including playing crime boss Carmine Lupertazi in the Sopranos and earlier mobsters in Goodfellas and The Godfather.

7.5/10 for me.

[kmart]

He seems to be having a laugh with everything he makes.

I have no idea where he gets the money from, his films are mostly extremely niche projects and must lose money, but he does get respectable casts somehow; actors seem to want to be in his films.

Try Nymphomaniac Part I and Part II.

You'll spend most of the time going "WTF?".

Cheers. I'll peruse some of his other works. Anything a bit different to the usual formulaic stuff churned out by Hollywood is okay by me.

[Humbert]

Yes, it is a nice feelgood movie if a tad formulaic. Never takes any risks or goes anywhere you are not expecting.

Perhaps but it does work and don't think it was formulaic. But it does fit a certain genre. I was entertained and felt that the acting was superb. I am adding it to my archive because I think it worth another watch.

I agree with your rating 7.5/10. Green Book. Recommended.

[Looper]

the director seems to be having a laugh with this one

I wish you had said the name of the director in this review and then I would not have bothered downloading it.

The first words on the screen were Lars Von Trier and I almost turned it off straight away.

I decided to stick with it for 20 minutes but it did not seem to be any better than his previous garbage where he thinks his 'avant garde' reputation is a license to turn out incoherent barely watchable drivel so I watched The Incredibles 2 instead - 7.3/10 quite good but not the best animation ever.

[harrybarracuda]

I wish you had said the name of the director in this review and then I would not have bothered downloading it.

The first words on the screen were Lars Von Trier and I almost turned it off straight away.

I decided to stick with it for 20 minutes but it did not seem to be any better than his previous garbage where he thinks his 'avant garde' reputation is a license to turn out incoherent barely watchable drivel so I watched The Incredibles 2 instead - 7.3/10 quite good but not the best animation ever.

I really don't know who keeps giving him money to pour down the drain.

[harrybarracuda]

54,266

Can't you do any better than that you silly little multnic wanker?