Thread: Johnny's Smoked Oysters

My old mate Big Paul called today. Under his arm he had a bag of oysters. What a great bloke eh?

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I’m usually back in the Land of Oz near Christmas when Paul and I get together to solve world economic problems, drink beverages and eat oysters. The oysters at this time of year are usually fat and juicy, as they spawn near the Christmas full moon. It is our duty to help slow their prolific growth around the local waterways by knocking a few over each year.
Rather than gather our own, we buy from a local grower who looks after us at about A$6 per dozen for Sydney Rock Oysters, the cream of the crop. These are today’s victims and I thought youse blokes might be interested in this method of oyster cooking and consumption.

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Firstly wash any excess mud from your oysters. Some people use a scrubbing brush, but I just use the hose. The grower usually purges the oysters in a tank of recirculating fresh water, but there is always a bit of mud left stuck to the shells. An advantage of buying from a grower is this purging process. The oyster is a bivalve which sucks in nutrient laden water, takes the goodies (and baddies) from it, and spits the rest out. Purging helps to rid the oyster of things you don’t want to eat, and things you don’t want to know about.

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This is a commercially made smoker of stainless steel construction. You will notice that the smoker has a raised base section welded into it. The part with the holes in it is where the heater tray sits. You can make your own smoker if you want. The important ingredients are heat and smoke. I have one up at the farm made from an old steel refrigerator.

looking good mate, i used to collect oysters from Murimbulla river.

bladdy hated trying to open them without cutting myself !

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This bag of smoker wood shavings came with the smoker. You can collect your own, and it is mainly trial and error to see what taste you like most. I find that dry wood that smells nice when cut is usually ok. Just make sure that you know the origin of the shavings. You don’t want to be using chemically treated wood or wood from a toxic tree.

Originally Posted by Johnny Longprong

The important ingredients are heat and smoke.

waste of good oysters, cookin them!

natural only way to go!

Originally Posted by kingwilly

looking good mate, i used to collect oysters from Murimbulla river.

bladdy hated trying to open them without cutting myself !

Me too KW. I have the scars to prove it too.

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Put a thin layer of shavings on the raised base.

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Lay the oysters on the racks.

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Fill the heater bowl with Methylated Spirits.

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Light the heater bowl.

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Put the lid on and place the smoker over the heater bowl.

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See the smoke coming out? I could.

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JLP’s citrus orchard.

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A late season Lime.

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I found this bird, a Common Koel (Eudynamys scolopacea) eating my strawberries. I nearly shot the devil eyed bastrad, but felt sorry for him as we had a lot in common. He, like me, winters in Oz and has done well not to have been consumed by a hungry Asian.

^ erm, wotz this to do wiv oysters??

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Set the table. Nothing too elaborate, but don’t forget Mrs Longprong’s ring burner chilli sauce.

Slight diversion from the main doesn't harm, keep on JLP.

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A couple of Chateau Cardboard and tonic water’s later, the smoker has stopped smoking.

Originally Posted by jizzybloke

Slight diversion from the main doesn't harm, keep on JLP.

not complaining, just asking, at first i thought the lime leaves were gonna be used in the smoking process or summtingk

great pics BTW.

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Eat your oysters. Most shells have opened, but if they haven’t the trusty persuader oyster knife is ready.
Make sure you divide the oysters equally. However always stay well ahead of your mate when eating. That way when you have finished, he will feel guilty and give you some of his.

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Don’t forget the lime juice.