Thread: South Beach Diet

Originally Posted by Dillinger

my morning shit

Morning shits are a must Dill!

Originally Posted by Dilly Matchstick Willy

Dil?

aircon on at 16c here in the Summer

Your and Nevs zooms are a tad concerning

We all have hobbies.

who's the slim fella in your av?

My slightly slimmer brother.

Doesnt look like Mario

You could box at Cruiserweight, limit is 200lb, just lose 8lbs.
World Champion is Russian, so you could pop over and kip at Puntys while earning a few quid



Only joking, all the best mate.

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

No Bread and alcohol! Good luck with that.

If you want to lose weight go have a colonic irrigation, you'll probably drop down to 80kg the amount of shit in you

You've got a pool and weight bench, fooking use it you fat bastard!

Exercise is the key!!!

Must be difficult having a piss and not seeing where your cock is squirting.

Speaking of squirting cocks, I imagine that Earl will be around to promote his tried and true elixir to cure all ills.

Only three glasses-a-day.

YES you can lose weight by having colonic irrigation.

There are several reasons for this. Firstly, many people experience the immediate loss of pounds as a result of the volume of waste matter removed from their colon. Most people find that their abdomen has reduced by inches (owing to the removal of waste and trapped gas ) which can really help with motivation for your diet. Lots of people find that once they get their digestion, absorption and elimination functions in order then weight loss becomes easy. There are also tremondous benefits to be gained from getting bowel bacteria back into balance. Firstly there is the reduction in bloating (which always makes people feel fat as well as uncomfortable ). Bowel bacteria has many functions, it synthesises some of the B vitamins and facilitates the absorption of calcium which helps with weight loss.
We have numerous clients who first started coming for colonics when they were slimming and their weight had plateaued and found that their weight loss started again, we also have clients who come to give their diet a really good kick start. We also have clients who are on WW, Slimming World, Lighter Life and the Atkins diet whom have found the treatment enormously beneficial and have lost weight at a faster rate once they had a colonic treatment. There are also other issues such as people who are constipated reasorb oestrogen which can increase weight. You also get the benefits of a really good detox and general well being.
To increase the effectivness of your colon cleansing and improve your likelihood of losing weight, you should make a few simple dietary changes. The most important and beneficial change you can make, is to add more fibre to your diet. Fruit and vegetables are filled with fiber, as are breads and cereals made from whole grains. Be sure to include plenty of high-fibre foods and 2 litres of water in your diet and you will notice your colon starting to work more efficiently. In addition, these foods tend to be healthier in general and can very easily help you lose weight (including fat ) and then keep it off!.

It doesn't help that you've knocked the cigs on the head recently.

You need to get out in that glorious Thai sunshine exercising for a few hours a day!

Walking, cycling, swimming, sweating it out at the gym....

Join a gym, worth it just for the eye candy as well as the motivation .

Training on a bench at home can lose it's appeal real quick plus the fridge is nearby.

Also eat protein instead of carbs.

You know what you have to do, it's up to you mate.

You are too well off to lose all that weight. Give all your cash to the temple and then move to a Muslim country.

Buy a cheap Chinese made mountain bike. You will be too busy fixing it to find time to eat.

One cooked meal a day.
Cereal or toast for breakfast
Fruit for lunch and snacking. Plenty available here so no excuses.
Bananas are great. Easy to digest but also provide slow release energy.

I was in the gym 7 days a week to begin with, but that is too much. Cycling, swimming or gym on 5 days out of 7 is enough.
The gym is now an absolute bastard, because I’m moving bigger weights and doing more reps. Always have a rest day after a gym session.

I have cut out beer except on monthly shopping trips to somewhere civilized. A couple of vodka cokes most evenings. I should probably use OJ as a mixer, but can’t be arsed.

I was 85kg when I arrived in LOS after comfort eating in the frozen U.K. I used to run swim or cycle most days back then and eat/drink whatever I wanted. Weight came down until arthritis stopped me running.
Cured by more time and distance on the bike.
The tropics can help your regime, but not if you sit around in aircon rooms at 16C

Current regime has me down to 70kg. Probably need to lose a few more kilos.

At 64 my only problem now is baggy skin, but the gym work is gradually improving that. Helps in the bedroom PT department too.

Three packs of Marlboro lights a day helps too.

Originally Posted by Switch

At 64 my only problem now is baggy skin

...clothespins are the answer to unsightly sags: pull excess facial skin to the back of the head and fasten in place...never turn your head away from the camera...

^^ Great post Chas, i got a stitch reading that

Originally Posted by Switch

Bananas are great.

Have you ever seen a skinny gorilla?
Theyre more deadly than Nid's tomatoes

Cut my heel on the scooter last night, ao couldnt manage to run today.
Did 50 sit ups though just gonna do weights today

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Sounds a bit too complex that calorie counting palava. How do you know what calories are in certain measures of food?

Besides I'm looking forward to stuffing my face in a couple of weeks.

Oh and it won't be 2 weeks now, it's a mates birthday next weekend, so it'll be 10 days.

Done well today and just got back from a nice sauna.

Gonna get the weights out

Well I wish you luck in your endeavors but I think you're setting yourself up for a fall... you fat bastard!

In all seriousnessity though these types of diets very rarely work out in the long-term and can actually be quite harmful if you're not careful. You don't need an extreme diet you need a change in how you eat that you can easily maintain in the long-term.

The problem is people are always looking for short-cuts and a magic bullet and there isn't really one. Put it this way: you didn't become a fat bastard overnight - that took years of being in a caloric surplus - so you shouldn't expect to lose it overnight either. The body loves homeostasis so will do everything it can to maintain it's current state - especially when you're overweight. These crash diets can fuck with everything, even your hormones, and leave you feeling like utter shit and since you can't maintain them all you'll likely end up doing is rebounding and putting the weight back on again and you'll probably end up losing just as much lean body mass as you do fat in the process which is the exact opposite of what you need to do.

So why not just do something where you can have the foods you like and don't have to deprive yourself to an extreme.

As for tracking calories/macros it's a piece of piss (piss, not cake, you fat bastard! ). There are plenty of apps and stuff out there that do all the work for you and take the guess work out of it.

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

So why not just do something where you can have the foods you like and don't have to deprive yourself to an extreme.

After this di, 10 day bodyplan and the ability to eat even more foods I like i will be taking measures to keep at that weight.

Im guessing i just need to find out how to count no more than 1900 calories per day?

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

There are plenty of apps and stuff out there that do all the work for you and take the guess work out of it.

Aha

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

The body loves homeostasis

Not mine mate. Filled four prams with that matchstick

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Im guessing i just need to find out how to count no more than 1900 calories per day?

Something like that yeah. Probably a bit higher in your case.

There are a tonne of TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) calculators online that can work it out for you based on height + current weight but most people would fall into a similar range. Edit - here's one: https://tdeecalculator.net/

Best bet is to start at a deficit of around -500 calories (e.g. if your TDEE is 2,600 then start with 2,100).

That has two benefits: firstly it's not overly drastic and won't fuck you up; secondly if you start to low then you've got nowhere to go after that to make adjustments.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Not mine mate. Filled four prams with that matchstick

Go the BLD Diet bud. 8 weeks in a desert sandstorm follwed by 3 weeks of laying in the foetal position at home.

You might lose a few kilos just by reading this anxiety driven thread.
Think too much.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

just gonna do weights today

Ahhhh yes, the old 20oz curls 'aye? .

Dill you mentioned 5/2 diet already, I haven't done it myself but my brother and his wife did this with spectacular results over a year. They're business owners with no spare time for exercise, I would imagine the results would be twice as fast with 20-30mins of cardio thrown in each day. I think it would be worth your time to research it some more...

^ you dunno how good that sounds H

Omelettes are shit without HP sauce and I just nearly decapitated myself on the weight bench.

Ive nearly done the two days required for that 5-2 diet as well

Originally Posted by Dillinger

I just nearly decapitated myself on the weight bench

...well done! 10 lbs of ugly fat gone at a stroke...

Originally Posted by Dillinger

you dunno how good that sounds H

*Sigh*

Oh well I tried.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make the fat bastard drink... unless it's chocolate-flavored water with floating fucking marshmellows!

The 5-2 diet can seem appealing. What are the long term health repercussions of constantly binging and purging?

Originally Posted by Luigi

What are the long term health repercussions of constantly binging and purging?

Nothing good that’s for sure.

Short term it’ll likely screw with hormones / test levels which can lead to a whole host of issues, long term potential metabolic damage. On top of that there’s probably a psychological factor also.*






*Though I can’t say for sure on that until I’ve completed my study for a fake PhD and spent years attempting to torment people I think are mentally unwell, calling them sociopaths and narcissists and failing to see the inherent irony/contradiction.