Dinner party, the f**cking up thereof

**somtamslap** · 03-03-2015, 03:16 AM

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

BTW shopping at Waitrose ??

|Pretty much a one off, Nige. We're generally a Sainsbury's family who get dressed up to dine out in Wetherspoons.

Originally Posted by November Rain

Cheese & swede? Nooooooo!

The cheese saved the swede, transforming bland mush into a highly palatable little side.

**taxexile** · 03-03-2015, 03:20 AM

ever watched channel 4's "come dine with me" slap?

**somtamslap** · 03-03-2015, 03:25 AM

^Yes, almost on a daily basis. There's one channel on free view that airs it perpetually on a loop.

I'm obviously aspiring to those dizzy heights of culinary prowess - not to mention the socialising flair of most of the contestants.

**somtamslap** · 03-03-2015, 03:33 AM

Canapes concluded the party.

These hit the spot after half a bottle of gin and a dozen san migs...

Much belching did ensue.

**Kurgen** · 03-03-2015, 05:55 AM

sliced Scotch egg and carrot sticks, fuck me, move over Gordon Ramsay

**Bogon** · 03-03-2015, 07:14 AM

^^ Did you have a sneaky quarter of the Scotch eggs before presenting them to your guests?

I only count 11, which by using my mathematical brain, does not divide into 2, 3, or even 4 eggs.

Oh, and is that a banana skin by the top of the plate?

I must admit, I thought you would have been held by her majesties pleasure by now, but looks like you've really settled into life back in Blighty.

Top thread as per usual.

**kingwilly** · 03-03-2015, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

a reclacitrant oik who'd rather spend a mucky half hour in a backstreet Bangkokian brothel than toil a 9-5 in the rain, dividing one's free time between paying bills and frantic masturbation.

And the problem with that is ?

BTW - Damn nice spread mate.

**somtamslap** · 03-03-2015, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Bogon

but looks like you've really settled into life back in Blighty.

I'm suffering it.

It's all a bit... I don't know... work orienated.

**ltnt** · 03-03-2015, 04:06 PM

What it like making "small talk?" At least in Issan you could sit quietly in the corner with a beer or three and nobody would bother you, let alone socialize around a pork roll and tater's...Are you becoming "Normalized?" Socially Acceptable or otherwise "needy," personality typical of those who do a daily commute in to a shit hole to work.

I'm having a dinner party for a few select...

**patsycat** · 03-03-2015, 06:16 PM

The poor guy has to make some friends!!

I think it looks like a lovely meal, especially the soup.

**Topper** · 03-03-2015, 06:47 PM

Aren't the insides of Scotch eggs supposed to be runny, just like the pork?

**withnallstoke** · 03-03-2015, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by CSFFan

Aren't the insides of Scotch eggs supposed to be runny, just like the pork?

Oooooooooooooo

**taxexile** · 03-03-2015, 07:36 PM

for those not acquainted with this foul british concoction, here is some info.

**somtamslap** · 03-03-2015, 08:49 PM

^ Unrivalled finger fodder.

Save, perhaps, for the pickled egg.

**withnallstoke** · 03-03-2015, 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

the pickled egg

Unrivalled botty fodder.

**November Rain** · 04-03-2015, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by CSFFan

Aren't the insides of Scotch eggs supposed to be runny, just like the pork?

Only home made ones or those from a restaurant. Supermarket bought, mass produced ones are supposed to look like that...

**patsycat** · 04-03-2015, 02:21 AM

I had a friend, bless her wee cotton socks, used to make scotch eggs that were like cannon balls. The meat was dried up and tastless, the eggs grey etc. I used to make the excuse and take mine home and mash it up with salt and pepper and ketchup.

If i had been accosted on the bus, that thing could have done some bad damage. I could have twirled it around my head in its plastic carrier bag like david attacking goliath.

One time friends gave me theirs to take home for them and they sat in the fridge for a week. Even dogs or cats wouldn't eat them. I thought the breadcromby bit would be good for the birds - nah.

**kingwilly** · 04-03-2015, 04:13 AM

Sliced carrots? Are they supposed to balance the fat of the scotch eggs?

**patsycat** · 05-03-2015, 12:19 AM

Slaps will be jumping with joy that Hells Kitchen Season 14 has just started and can be downloaded.

He can learn how to cook a fuccing scallop properly.

Evil carrots should be left of the menu at every time.

**November Rain** · 05-03-2015, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by patsycat

Slaps will be jumping with joy that Hells Kitchen Season 14 has just started and can be downloaded. He can learn how to cook a fuccing scallop properly.

To paraphrase Mr Ramsey "F*ck that!". Have you ever seen the risotto he is happy to let his chefs turn out on that programme? Wet Batchelors Super Rice! It's not even Arborio. If I turned out risotto like theirs I'd shoot myself!

**thaimeme** · 05-03-2015, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

Originally Posted by patsycat

Slaps will be jumping with joy that Hells Kitchen Season 14 has just started and can be downloaded. He can learn how to cook a fuccing scallop properly.

To paraphrase Mr Ramsey "F*ck that!". Have you ever seen the risotto he is happy to let his chefs turn out on that programme? Wet Batchelors Super Rice! It's not even Arborio. If I turned out risotto like theirs I'd shoot myself!

He's a fake chef anyway...
I'm guessing that he banks on his average viewing audience not to be culinary knowledgeable -

**withnallstoke** · 05-03-2015, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by thaimeme

He's a fake chef anyway.

Too right - he's a fat fucking farmer from Isaan who has turned to undercooking meat in an effort to imprison half the population of southern England in their own bogs.

Soup my arse.

**patsycat** · 05-03-2015, 07:29 AM

It's all in the basting.

It is true, NR, Hell's kitchen is hell. The other one was Masterchef which was ok.

And every Saturday morning i watch James Martin. I lurve him.

**ltnt** · 05-03-2015, 08:50 AM

No more reality T.V..Stick to Slaps story or fuck off....

**nidhogg** · 05-03-2015, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by thaimeme

He's a fake chef anyway...
I'm guessing that he banks on his average viewing audience not to be culinary knowledgeable -

Yeah - I am sure he found those 15 Michelin stars his restaurants have been awarded.

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