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  1. #101
    Thailand Expat
    dirk diggler's Avatar
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    Grunny - It's a richt bricht moonlicht the nicht.

    Granda - Foo's yer doos?
    Me - Aye peckin.

    Grandma - Fa's like us? damm few an' there a' deed.

    Granda - Fan I wis a loon it wis 'yes sir, no sir 3 bags full sir'

    Granda - Mony a mickle maks a muckle.
    Lang may yer lum reek...

  2. #102
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    charleyboy's Avatar
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    24-11-2023 @ 10:30 AM
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    That ays fot tosses, fot teat, fot get fat on!

    Me. Where are you going?
    Dad. To see a black man about a dog.

    Me. Where's that?
    Dad. Up Jaas a back o Josses.

  3. #103
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    Gazza's Avatar
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    'When I was your age I was a lot more wiser and a lot older'

    'Act your age and not your shoe size'

    'Oh yeah?.......you and whose army?'

    'Eat that, it'll put hairs on your chest' (said even when I was a youngster)
    'Eat that, it's good for your blood'
    'Eat that, it'll make your hairy curly'
    'Eat those. it's good for your eyesight'
    'Eat your sprouts......What are they good for?....I don't know but just sit down and eat them'

    'If you can't be good, be careful'

    'arrrrrr!!! Just you wait, your dad's gonna kill you when he gets home'

    'Sit down, I'm just waiting for the chips to brown'

    'Pull my finger'

    If I was going to the shops. 'If you see something going for free then get me two'

    'I know it was you, I've got eyes in the back of my head'

  4. #104
    Member
    Your name here's Avatar
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    06-04-2016 @ 04:17 AM
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    Ubon and elsewhere
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    113
    My dad used to say "doesn't that just frost your balls?".

  5. #105
    Member
    bindog's Avatar
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    09-11-2020 @ 05:24 AM
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    Sydney / Buriram
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    "About as popular as a turd in a fruit salad."

  6. #106
    Member
    bindog's Avatar
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    09-11-2020 @ 05:24 AM
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    Grandmother:
    "He's tighter than a duck's arse, and that's watertight!"

  7. #107
    Member
    bindog's Avatar
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    Grandfather:

    "Old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher."

    Didn't help me much at my carnal knowledge / statutory rape trial.

  8. #108
    Thailand Expat
    Happy As Larry's Avatar
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    "worse things happen at sea"

  9. #109
    Thailand Expat
    billy the kid's Avatar
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    19-11-2016 @ 07:57 PM
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    vote Labour. never trust the cons.

  10. #110
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Jomtien
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    Me: What for Grandma?

    Grandma: Cat's fur to make you a pair of britches.



    WTF ... I still don't get it ...

  11. #111
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    What for = what fur?

  12. #112
    Thailand Expat
    Stinky's Avatar
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    It's a lazy wind lad!

  13. #113
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    Lantern's Avatar
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    27-03-2024 @ 06:29 AM
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    Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs.

    Still no idea what it meant.

  14. #114
    Thailand Expat
    charleyboy's Avatar
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    If I shoved it up my aspect...You'd still find it!

  15. #115
    Newbie
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    16-01-2016 @ 11:54 PM
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    "I wouldn't shit you boy, you're my favorite turd."

  16. #116
    Member
    Jackanapes's Avatar
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    07-05-2017 @ 10:01 PM
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    No, not in that hole my dear

  17. #117
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
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    24-02-2024 @ 04:47 PM
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    Reality.
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    Waste not want not.

  18. #118
    god
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    Head like a pound and feet like a shilling.

  19. #119
    Thailand Expat
    barrylad66's Avatar
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    When they were fed up with me they would say..go home your mother got cakes

  20. #120
    god
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    You'll never get to heaven!

  21. #121
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    "It was so nice to see you. Here's half-a-crown. Buy yourself an ice cream"

    "It's called steak and kidney pie. If you find a piece of kidney. Tell the waiter and he will will not charge us"

  22. #122
    Thailand Expat
    charleyboy's Avatar
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    Going past a bicycle shop...

    Charley, keep your eyes on that bike!

    Went on for weeks.

    Dad, why do I have to keep my eyes on that bike?

    Charley, because tha'll never get tha arse on it!

  23. #123
    Thailand Expat

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    Grandma : "Where is Charlie ?" after waliking around the house for fifteen minutes.
    Charlie was Grandpa.

    Me: "Grandma, Charlie is dead."
    Grandma would start bawling and I'd give her Kleenex tissues from the box.
    After a while she would stop crying , smile and walk around the house.

    Thirty minutes later she'd walk back into the room while I was watching something important on the b&w tellie like Bruno Sammartino vs Gorilla Monsoon and quietly inquire ,"Where is Charlie ?"
    I'd provide the same reply as before and it would hit Grandma like she had never heard it before.

    This would repeat indefinitely until she could fall asleep after my Mom gave her a 'sleeping aid'.

    Grandma drove a car and took care of everything including bookkeeping up until Grandpa died. Within months she was a shell of her former self...some would say from a broken heart , some would say from Alzheimers.

    "By the rivers of my memory smiling , ever so gentle on my mind".

  24. #124
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeeCoffee
    Grandma drove a car and took care of everything including bookkeeping up until Grandpa died. Within months she was a shell of her former self...some would say from a broken heart , some would say from Alzheimers.
    I'd say the former because he "left" her...

  25. #125
    god
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    Make sure you've got clean underpants on in case you get run over.

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