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  1. #26
    I am in Jail
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    The only problem with malt whisky, as all fellas everywhere know but are scared to admit, is that in reality it tastes a bit shit.

    Fear not for the solution to this problem is documented in pictorial format here!

    First take a bottle of fine single malt (any single malt will do, this one is Balvenie) and another empty bottle and a bottle of organic agave syrup.
    That's so wrong on so many levels... red on its way.
    And as if the gods had spoken their approval what should arrive by express post delivery Christmas present from my sister within 30 minutes of my fine photographic work but a bottle of Lagavulin 16 year-old....
    Oh no, Looper please don't... I am going to cry!

  2. #27
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    Looper you're a bloody philistine, doing that to decent single malt is akin to putting salt n pepper on your girlfriends pussy before you chow down.

  3. #28
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    I can only see the significance of adding honey to a single malt if youre gonna consume anally.....

    Looper ????

  4. #29
    A Cockless Wonder
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    ^
    Honey is a taste-crime Dillinger, only syrup may be used.


    ^^
    ^^^

    May I please refer you 2 gentlemen to my challenge to AO

    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by aging one View Post
    stick with Breezers or Thai beer, your palate and taste buds are long dead. At first I thought you were taking the piss.
    Well put your bottle where your mouth is AO.

    If the idea of doing this to malt whisky is too painful for you to countenance then try it with grain whisky to start with.

    Mix 20% syrup into a glass of grain whisky.

    Now repeatedly take sips of the straight whisky followed by the liqueur whisky and then come back here and type with a straight face that the liqueur whisky was not far superior.

    Alternatively, if you decide that the liqueur whisky is actually nicer then ponder the fact that syrup is just sugar and water, and then explain to me why there is anything wrong with doing the same thing to malt whisky.

    Indeed, if it actually lets you enjoy the whisky more while still letting you taste all the flavours then why is it not the right thing to do?

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    I don't like single malt. I drink scotch, but quite honestly can't really tell one from another.
    That's fine, stick with the cheap stuff. Leave the Malt to those who appreciate the difference.

    It is an acquired taste, though it beats me how someone cannot taste the difference between a blended Scotch, a peaty Laphroig and a sweet Dalmore, for example.

    Single malt drinkers tend to be pretentious twats, just like kunts who babble on and on about wine while sniffing the cork and rolling it in their hands. FFS, just get it down yer gullet....
    Do you also prefer fishfingers to Sirloin steak?

    Btw, I like both, I happily down a shot of Lao Khao, but also enjoy taking a few minutes savouring a malt.

  6. #31
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    ^I am but a simple soul. Food is fuel. Alcohol gets you hammered. End of.

  7. #32
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    Looper is probably the most sophisticated Aussie we have here on Teakdoor.

    Most of the other crims couldn't give a XXXX for refinement and their idea of an acquired taste usually involves smearing a cheap marmite substitute around the neck of it

  8. #33
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    ^I knew one once who wore lace up dress shoes and long pants. But that was a long time ago.....

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    ^I am but a simple soul. Food is fuel. Alcohol gets you hammered. End of.
    Tis always good to know oneself, the mistake is when we judge others by our yardstick.

    I enjoy a single malt, way more than any blend, and i can tell the difference between different malts.

    Does that make me a "pretentious twat" or just someone with taste buds?

  10. #35
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    If you enjoy it, super!

    I have no taste buds. Thus is life.

    It's the ones who just keep blathering on about it who are irritating.

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post

    It's the ones who just keep blathering on about it who are irritating.
    I will resit blathering. But it does not change the fact that what looper did was an offense against humanity!!

  12. #37
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    I'm a beer drinker but glenmorangie is quality.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dapper View Post
    I'm a beer drinker but glenmorangie is quality.

    Yes, passable...





  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Earl View Post
    ^Are you mad? Spoiling good whisky like that! You should be shot, eviscerated and drawn and quartered....butt first the pillory.
    Drink Canadian whisky if don't like whisky. Don't be wasting single malt Scotch.
    Farc clas I;m agreeing wi UR must be drunk

    The only way is Ape Allure .

    Was given a bottle of Oban and the only think I'd put in it apart from my tongue is more Oban.

    I recall at banquets in China rich Chinese adding Coke to Vintage Henessy and Claret !

    I shall raze farclas to you all on Nude Ears Eve
    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I just want the chance to use a bigger porridge bowl.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Earl
    good whisky should be drunk neat at room temp with just a few drops of water to help release the flavors.
    Release the flavour??

    How does water release the flavour?

    It is just water. All you are doing is watering down the whisky.

    What you mean is 'make it bearable to drink without grimacing'.

    All I am doing is the same think but using syrup which is just water and sugar. Sugar is just unpolluted pure sucrose which sweetens things. It does not corrupt the flavour in the way that cola or lemonade would do by introducing artificial chemicals.

    Quote Originally Posted by sabang View Post
    Indeed. The aroma of a good malt thus unlocked is to die for. But do drink some too.
    'thus unlocked'??

    How does adding water unlock the aroma? It is just water. You are not unlocking anything. The aroma is only reduced by adding water. You are just talking in the usual manner of a malt-whisky faux-windbag.

    Whisky by itself is not a pleasant taste with or without water to 'open it up'. Adding syrup does nothing to corrupt the flavour complexity and makes it a very pleasant drink.

    I also used the phrase 'to die for' in my original proposition of this method on another thread and was told that this phraseology was 'gay'!

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dapper View Post
    I'm a beer drinker but glenmorangie is quality.




    It is.


    For some reason this one right now is extra sweet.


    and it's not because I put foking syrup in it.
    Last edited by Luigi; 23-12-2015 at 11:23 PM.

  17. #42
    Thailand Expat lom's Avatar
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    What a heathen, what a fekking warmduscher you are Looper.

  18. #43
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    ^Jeezus another faux-connoisseur desperate to show his baboob-butt credentials to and rub cocks with any other faux-connoisseur in the vicinity.

    "Adding water to whisky is OK cause at least then it still tastes a bit shit so that still gives me bragging rights to being a real man and pretending to 'appreciate' the taste (turns away to grimace discreetly)"

    Get over yourself and your emperor's new clothes already FFS. You are not fooling anybody.

  19. #44
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    Nice troll thread.

    You tried this lark earlier, but with photos (of empty bottles filled with cold tea) you've knocked it out of the park.

    Well done, sir.



  20. #45
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    I'm with Loopy on this issue... I'd say 'I've got your back bro'... but that would be misconstrued as gay...

    At least he has the balls to not conform to some doctrine of contempt, for anyone adding anything to their drink...

    Drink are to be enjoyed, not tolerated... if you like adding water, lime, coke, ketchup, bat jizz, etc... go for it... all power to ya, I say...

    Fook conforming... be yourself, do what makes you happy...


    Merry Xmas lads (joop joop)

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by NZdick1983 View Post
    I'd say 'I've got your back bro'... but that would be misconstrued as gay...
    There's an awesome lot of remarks you've made which could be "misconstrued" that way...




  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    Adding water to whisky is OK
    as I said before - if you have paid for it them you can add butters' sperm to it if you wish

    being the pretentious cnut that I am , I drink it straight in a tumbler

    Wales makes a nice single malt - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penderyn_%28whisky%29

    and a taswegianland distillery has mixed it with the northern hemisphere toffs and come out a winner

    Tassie whisky named world's best single malt



    Tasmanian distillery Sullivan's Cove has been named the world's best single malt whisky at the World Whiskies Award held on Thursday night in London.
    Sullivan's Cove's French Oak Cask variety was judged the global winner, as well as Australia's best, from a high-quality pool of single malt entries. They included Scotland's Bunnahabain, Aberfeldy, Glenkinchie and Glenlivet distilleries, as well as Japanese powerhouse Yamazaki.
    If you torture data for enough time , you can get it to say what you want.

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    Tassie whisky named world's best single malt
    Best drunk with strawberry syrup - it just adds a little sugar to the original taste.

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    Release the flavour??
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    'thus unlocked'??
    Oh dear. Yes. Try a simple experiment- add 25- 35% water, good water, not chilled, to a malt. And then tell me how much of an expert you are not.

    Anyway.

    How to drink Malt whisky | Life and style | The Guardian

    If you wish to get into the chemical basis of this 'unlocking', you will need to research olefines. But let your own taste be the test, after that simple test I just gave you.

  25. #50
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    Am definitely wanting to change from that bourbon and coke shite. My guess it's just a matter of cultivating the bitter. I now quite enjoy a black coffee, no milk, no sugar thank you. Expect the same would be with whiskey. It's about perseverance.

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