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  1. #226
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    Public art compared to Thailand - pfft.
    Some valid points, but you lost me here.

  2. #227
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    ^^^and ^^ I think so too. The stress of moving to a new country/ culture/ language was great. The fact that covid hit only a few months after they transferred has increased the pressure on her.

    BLD, I wish you & your Mrs the best. I hope she gets better soon.

  3. #228
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    There’s a gulf between Australia and Asia that must Australians do not know. Imho.
    Aussies who’ve been briefly to Bali or Thailand or wherever have no idea usually.

    Asians are well aware that the meanest, hardest, best-organised and ruthless people took over the world some time ago and despite the changes since are still pretty much in control (who else has 12 aircraft carrier battle groups ?).
    Asians know how much the west has fvcked over other countries and peoples in the past and still don’t quite trust us.
    A Taiwanese professor I spoke with recently let slip that most Asians who speak English are shy about speaking with Aussies in case their language isn’t perfectly correct and they’ll lose face (as if Aussies give a rat’s about losing face ...) despite Aussies coping well with broken English and admiring people who try to speak it.
    Westerners tend to be much bigger physically which makes us scary. We say what we think. Rude. We eat just about anything. Weird. We work very hard. Strange. We value the individual over the group. Selfish.
    And so on.
    I’ve seen groups of non-native English speakers all communicating brilliantly in their Englishes with no inhibitions about perfection yet they’ll clam up when a whitey appears. Go figure.
    Last edited by docmartin; 26-09-2022 at 09:42 AM.

  4. #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Some valid points, but you lost me here.
    Regarding the public art thing - you’ve probably noticed the Thai crazy love of flowers and cutesy / kitschy statuettes. The magnificently-coloured and ornate temples. The ditto nagas. The coloured lights everywhere.
    Australia has some of these things but they’re not anywhere near as important as they are in Thailand.

  5. #230
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    OK, thanks.

    I thought you meant art galleries, for a minute.

    Bear in mind the lady is Lao.

    Anyway, to your point, yes the lifestyle change in general from Lao must be huge.

    However medication is what is needed in the short term, in my completely uninformed opinion.

  6. #231
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    I’ve seen groups of non-native English speakers all communicating brilliantly in their Englishes with no inhibitions about perfection yet they’ll clam up when a whitey appears. Go figure.
    In Thailand inhibitions about speaking English are more often the result of the attitudes of fellow Thais.

    Many Thais, particularly women, who speak reasonably good English are inhibited because they are thought to be showing off, or perhaps to have learned the language from having numerous farang 'friends' .

  7. #232
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    ^^^and ^^ I think so too. The stress of moving to a new country/ culture/ language was great. The fact that covid hit only a few months after they transferred has increased the pressure on her.

    BLD, I wish you & your Mrs the best. I hope she gets better soon.
    True words Katie. When I asked my wife to move to the US with me it was definitely up and downs, especially after the novelty of living in the US had wore off. She started missing family and friends, her own food, the weather change, the cost of things as she felt guilty I was paying for it all until she found a local job. I think what kept her focused was knowing we were going to move back as we were building our house so there was an end in sight. Its a slow burn on some and some hide it well until they don't unfortunately. It happens with many expats that move here.

    Maybe her best medicine is a trip back home.

    Best to you BLD.

  8. #233
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    docmartins 2 analyses seem very astute.

    with no pathology having been found, a country girl finds adaptation to a very different culture very very difficult. isolation, confusion, stress and frustration, she cannot explain it even to herself and it's all bottled up until it cannot be contained anymore and then bursts free in bouts of inexplicable behaviour.



    a period of suitable medication and psychotherapy followed by a trip back to the home country asap to reset the hard drive might be in order.

  9. #234
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    a trip back to the home country asap
    The issue being that if that doesn't cause any improvement, or actually makes things worse, she is then in Laos.

    I doubt the mental health system in Laos is of above standard, and I imagine a mental health facility there is the last place anybody would want themselves or their loved ones to be held.


    Two units in Vientiane (the capital city) are the only facilities in Laos that provide in-patient and out-patient mental healthcare. One is dedicated to the military (103 Hospital) while the other, based in Mahosot Hospital, is in the public healthcare system.
    Two senior psychiatrists work at Mahosot Hospital. The professor was educated in Hungary and the second psychiatrist was educated in France. The psychiatric unit opened in 1979 under the guidance of a Soviet psychiatrist. The unit is staffed by these two psychiatrists, a neurologist, ten nurses and four general medical doctors. It has 15 beds. Patients are referred to the unit from the accident and emergency department of Mahosot Hospital and from doctors in other parts of the country; also, families make direct referrals. The duration of stay in the in-patient unit is 21 days, regardless of progress. Patients pay US$1 per day for their care. Family members provide direct care to their relatives while nurses administer drug therapy. After discharge from the hospital out-patient follow-up is available, but it is often not taken up by those who live far from Vientiane. The out-patient department is open every day to review people living in the community.

  10. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    a period of suitable medication and psychotherapy followed by a trip back to the home country asap to reset the hard drive might be in order.
    Finding a (preferably female) Lao-speaking Lao culture-understanding therapist in Perth is virtually impossible.
    Might exist but I doubt it.
    When I had a note-and-noose episode to manage I found a male Thai GP in Perth but that was it. Possibly a chat with an Asian therapist could be useful.
    Another option might be to skype with a therapist in Vientiane or Udon or somewhere. No idea how to organise that however.

  11. #236
    Making people dance. :-)
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    Possibly a chat with an Asian therapist could be useful.
    Another option might be to skype with a therapist in Vientiane or Udon or somewhere. No idea how to organise that however.
    Not a bad idea.

    I presume she speaks near fluent Thai, or a Thai mental health therapist in Isaan would speak near fluent Lao. Trying to arrange a skype between a Thai mental health therapist here and her might prove fruitful.

  12. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    Udon or somewhere
    That could be a way forward. I really feel for BLD and family. I know nothing about mental health, I do however go to Bangkok Hospital in Udon Thani from time to time and their car park is stuffed with Laos number plates. As good a place as any to look.

  13. #238
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    About 5 years ago a Thai from the local restaurant had a total breakdown.
    Imho it was stress related.
    He moved out of the restaurant accommodation and social bubble there.
    He had to pay for a flat and all the Bills so that he could get his son over and prove he had a place to stay for the visa.
    His wife was no help, just carried on with her after work casino trips.
    The poor bloke just cracked one day and was talking to himself, all the other Thais did was film him on their phones and post about it on social media.
    The owner of the restaurant got him committed for 30 days.
    When he came out he was back to normal but had to take medication, still does I believe.
    They moved away afterwards because they were embarrassed by the whole incident.

    Different culture, different mentality.

    Regular prescribed medication is the key.

    Just my two pennies worth.

    All the best.
    Shalom

  14. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    That could be a way forward. I really feel for BLD and family. I know nothing about mental health, I do however go to Bangkok Hospital in Udon Thani from time to time and their car park is stuffed with Laos number plates. As good a place as any to look.
    We took a shortcut through the carpark not so long ago and noticed many Laos plated cars parked there too. Nice cars.

  15. #240
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    Seems to be an opportunity for a Thai / Lao therapist to jet around the world doing consultations - as a ‘tourist’ given the relentless difficulties of getting work visas.
    I’m guessing that there’s a bucketful of falang husbands who’d pay up gladly to get some progress.

    Assuming that progress is possible.
    You can take the village girl out of the village but you can’t take the village out of the village girl.
    Even if they’re educated and travelled and / or professional women and haven’t been bargirls the old superstitions and quaint notions of reality are ever-present.

  16. #241
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    Thai women and voodoo.....-20220926_155641-jpg this was under my sons pillow. Had it translated apparently its to the king in scotland asking him to keep us all safe from the black devil.2.00 am she woke us all up to make us drink the ," magic water" were at the hospital now waiting to see a doc it will take a while they have already said there short staffed.

  17. #242
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    That ain't homesickness. It's mental illness, and she needs to be on medication.

    I'm not a doctor, but common sense is common sense.

    Must be hard on you, her, and the kids, I wish you the best.

  18. #243
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    Yeah drugs are good sometimes.
    If they work then the patient often thinks ‘I feel okay, so now I don’t need these anymore’ and guess what happens next ...

  19. #244
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    ^ True that.

    Or gets worse and thinks the medication is causing it, so they stop taking it.

  20. #245
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    this was under my sons pillow
    This is a reason to sadly put her back in the hospital and get her on meds that hopefully work. The family unit is in dire need of redirection here. Just can't have all this going on with the boys witnessing it. I have been following this tragedy and it hurts, so I can imagine what it is like in Perth. Really do feel for you and the whole family, but this just can't keep going on.

  21. #246
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    Your 100 % right ao. Todays visit to bentley hospital wasnt much use at all. The doc agreed she needed to be hospitalized and medicated. They have no beds so the only option was to take her back to royal perth Emergency then they have to take her. But she wont go voluntarily and im worried she will try to jump out of the car on the way there. So she is at home until she has an episode again, which i think wont be far off, shes teetering on the brink. Still cleaning franticly still demanding i do all this unnecessary shit and if i dont , gets hysterical

  22. #247
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    On the plus side the doc gave her a script for meds but shes still refusing to take them . Ive gotta find a way to slip them in her tea or something, perhaps tell her your turn to drink the " magic water" my oldest boy saw how stressed i was this afternoon and said dad should i call an ambulance.

  23. #248
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    Quote Originally Posted by pickel View Post
    That ain't homesickness. It's mental illness, and she needs to be on medication.

    I'm not a doctor, but common sense is common sense.

    Must be hard on you, her, and the kids, I wish you the best.
    I think its a combination of work stress, our friend dying, missing family and friends for 2.8 years because of covid, different culture , my mum dying and a lot of stuff that docmartin pointed out. She really doesnt have a support network here , and im sorry to say in Lao she thought she was hiso

  24. #249
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    I will again sleep on the sofa and try to talk her into coming to rph to check in again but not sure if they will take her until its glaringly obvious shes not ok. Maybe call that ward first. Her mum put a new spirit house in our house in vientiane and has been praying hard andcreckons all will be good after her birthday on thursday. This is what im dealing with.

  25. #250
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    Note to Admin . I can ignore this yourdaddy fool but you would be doing the forum a favour by banning the asshole.

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