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  1. #676
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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  2. #677
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    As a bit of an update to my posts re .Mrs BLD. It's been over a year now and while she seems better, she really has no interest in much and is happy with waking to make the kids lunches for school but returns to bed shortly after, sometimes stays there all day. It's been over a year since all this started. She's not medicating and I won't force her to as I think the drugs had largely done there job , just like beers in the backyard was beneficial to me. Once again we will return to Lao in December. She hasn't returned to work and I support that decision. She seems uninterested to even leave the house unless it's to go forage the supermarket. The days are warm now and I've noticed a bit less sleeping but she sits in the sun for hours out the back. The Filipino girls still call over to see her and she is genuinely thrilled to see them. But her countrymen have given her a wide berth. Probably just as well.

  3. #678
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Jeeez mate, that doesn’t sound fixed/cured or sustainable in the long run. Hope she gets back to her old self soon. The trip home might be just the ticket (or not). Just have to try. Is she seeing anyone (as in counselor or shrink)?

  4. #679
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    No, she refuses. She's always been stubborn as a mule.

  5. #680
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    The last Therapist she saw said she had gone from psychotic event to depression..from what I can gather depression can last years. She was so positive when we moved back to the West that I thought she would adapt. I don't think she can/ will? Seems to be just putting up with it here in Oz. I don't much like it either but it is what it is . Oldest son turned 16 yesterday and is switched on plus, his little bro is 13 and on the autism spectrum , his whole life will be a struggle ? But I'm still convinced we are better of here, despite all this.

  6. #681
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    Anyway as I mentioned earlier when we arrived back in Australia my mum died a couple of hours before landing. That upset all of us but her particularly, hard as they were quite close .a couple of months later covid struck and we couldn't go anywhere. We were fucked. Then our friend rheah died . Maybe all these things? Who knows. What's important is we are all together. Nothing has gone to plan but we're not starving. I remain positive. Life is just fucked up sometimes

  7. #682
    I am not a cat
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    .t returns to bed shortly after, sometimes stays there all day. It's been over a year since all this started..
    As soon as I read that, I thought "depression" (and I see you confirmed it a few posts later). It is an awful condition, and without a decent meds program she is unlikely to pull herself out of it.

  8. #683
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    I'm unlikely to convince her to take medication again and she won't see a therapist. Even though the system here's overloaded it's still good. Yes she should take meds but won't. The weight gain when she was olanzapine has also made her quite self conscious

  9. #684
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    I've put on the weight to but couldn't give a fuck. Happy to be a large mammal
    A big beast, hard to fat shame bld. But I understand it's not great for her. She used to run in marathons for fucks sake. We have a long way to go.

  10. #685
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    One day at a time mate.

    I lived that way for years when my ex starting playing up.


    All the best to you and yours you fat bastard

  11. #686
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    Ha ha, cheers joe

  12. #687
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    A couple of days ago Jean A lovely Singaporean friend sent me a message asking about her, she's a lot older than my wife but she visited us in Lao and loves the wife. I told her she's OK. But. Stays in bed all day . Depression symptoms for sure jean wants her to do some kind of zumba dancing that she gets into. It's $4.00 and we've nearly got her talked into going. Really appreciate her help. I know she just became a grandma so she's fucking busy

  13. #688
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    All going well I'll drop her of on Tuesday and her and jean can hit the mall afterwards.

  14. #689
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    Baby steps

  15. #690
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    She just needs that little shove. Really appreciate jeans help

  16. #691
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Zumba is great exercise and a lot of fun hanging out with the girls.

  17. #692
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Zumba is great exercise and a lot of fun hanging out with the girls.
    E+E love it.

    Couldn't say enough good things about it, really.

    Would be great for your gal, BLD, I hope everything works out well for her.

  18. #693
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Zumba is great exercise and a lot of fun hanging out with the girls.
    Yeah, it's great! Some years ago, we used to have a zumba group at the office (did it after work hours). We just used a laptop & projector & followed YT videos. Some places or malls hire zumba instructors and you'll see zumba mommies/ aunties in their "color of the day" shirts. Our zumba group died off after some months due to busy/ different schedules. Now, I just do it on my own or jog, esp if preparing for a hike.

    @BLD - yeah, I remember that your Mrs lost all that baby weight when she worked out & joined marathons. I hope she finds her mojo again. One day at a time...

    Is it in your long-term plan to return to Laos after the youngest son has reached 18? Maybe she wants to return/ live in Laos again and is just counting days (or years).... Just a thought...

  19. #694
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Exercise with a buddy.

    Sounds perfect.


  20. #695
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    Depression symptoms for sure jean wants her to do some kind of zumba dancing that she gets into
    Sounds like the perfect remedy for your wife's malady Lao

    Something to get her moving and energised in a group setting

    Much better solution than the meds if it works

  21. #696
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Had no idea what Zumba is so looked. Appears a great fun activity. For older folk there is Zumba Gold. Thinking I would need Zumba platinum but no have...

  22. #697
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    Yeah, it's great! Some years ago, we used to have a zumba group at the office (did it after work hours). We just used a laptop & projector & followed YT videos. Some places or malls hire zumba instructors and you'll see zumba mommies/ aunties in their "color of the day" shirts. Our zumba group died off after some months due to busy/ different schedules. Now, I just do it on my own or jog, esp if preparing for a hike.

    @BLD - yeah, I remember that your Mrs lost all that baby weight when she worked out & joined marathons. I hope she finds her mojo again. One day at a time...

    Is it in your long-term plan to return to Laos after the youngest son has reached 18? Maybe she wants to return/ live in Laos again and is just counting days (or years).... Just a thought...
    We still have the house there and it was the plan to eventually retire there once the kids can stand on there own 2 feet. We have also talked about selling it and living better here. The markets not great there after covid so we will likely keep it rented out a while longer. She does realise that the benefits of the kids being here out weigh us wanting to live in Laos. We're going for a month in December and I'm looking forward to that but I can honestly say that apart from it being expensive and a bit of a nanny state It's quite OK living here. I certainly had a better lifestyle in Lao that was supported by a well paid job, that's no longer the case and I can't return to that industry at nearly 60 years of age. It is what it is

  23. #698
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    I've just been thinking about how shit can change in a heartbeat as it did for me and my family but I'm happy to say things seem to be finally back to normal.. 2 months ago she finally seems to be positive and goes walking every morning. Then joins me helping me with my business. She's back to normal I think. Fuck Mre it's been 18 months. She wants to get a job and I encourage that. But next year
    Something retail maybe.? Of to lao again in December and this time I hope I can relax and actually have a real holiday.
    I also suspect her mum might of had sharp words with her . The mil firmly on my side I believe. I've reached out a few times.
    Last edited by BLD; 08-11-2023 at 07:08 PM.

  24. #699
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    Good news mate. I hope you are sailing into smoother waters.

  25. #700
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Good news, thankfully it was just an episode and can be put in the past.

    Enjoy your well earned holiday.

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