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  1. #251
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    @bld - your family was relatively hi-so in Laos (IMO). She was married to a farang who earned well, she/you guys had a nice house w/ pool, the kids studied in an international school, you took international trips every so often, you ate well, etc. I don't know her socio-economic status prior to marriage, but in Laos, she was a big fish in a small pond.

    Then you guys tranaferred to Oz and became an ordinary middle class(?) family there. She wasn't "special" anymore - small fish in a big pond. That's a lot of adjustment, aside from the cultural/ language differences. I think she was overwhelmed with all the changes (and covid didn't help).

    I hope with medication and treatment, she gets better soon. I also hope she gets ok enough for a trip back to Laos. Being in her homeland/ family might do wonders for her. All the best.

  2. #252
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    Itís a total headfvck for the poor husband and kids in this situation.
    Someone has to be the responsible adult and earn the money, pay the bills, do the maintenance and repairs, organise the kids etc etc. And bear the grief, anger and frustration associated with it all.

    Relationships and families are hard work at the best of times but when lunacy is added to the mix itís a tremendous task.
    Even simple things can be a trial. For example I installed warm white lighting when I finished building the house but management decided cool white is needed (I have good taste so I loathe cool white unless itís in a workshop) - presumably because she grew up with (cheaper to run) fluorescent lights.

    There's even more minefields to creep through.
    For some insane reason my wife decided that I was banging one of the exes. This woman had been so kind to her and had stayed my good friend - promoted to Ďsisterí really. The evil goblin sent her pictures of turds with accompanying accusations. Charming.
    Even after the crazy outbreak was over there wasnít an apology because to do that would incur a massive and therefore unthinkable loss of (you guessed it) face. What a load of bullshit. Take responsibility and do what is right and must be done is the Aussie way but not the SE Asian way.
    While it was all happening I asked my wife ĎDo you have any idea how men think ? Why would I be shagging someone Iíve done a thousand times and ignore the the billions of women Iíve yet to meet ?í Didnít make any sense to her because insane jealousy was the priority.

  3. #253
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    It’s a total headfvck for the poor husband and kids in this situation.
    Someone has to be the responsible adult and earn the money, pay the bills, do the maintenance and repairs, organise the kids etc etc. And bear the grief, anger and frustration associated with it all.

    Relationships and families are hard work at the best of times but when lunacy is added to the mix it’s a tremendous task.
    Amen to that!


    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    because insane jealousy was the priority.
    Generally as a rule somebody that can not trust, themselves can not be trusted.

  4. #254
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docmartin View Post
    The evil goblin sent her pictures of turds with accompanying accusations. Charming.
    Indeed.

    Any Irish background?

  5. #255
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    Irish ? Nah, unless St Brendan somehow got a curragh up the Kong River fifteen centuries ago and dropped his robes because of the heat.
    Last edited by docmartin; 27-09-2022 at 07:04 PM.

  6. #256
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Generally as a rule somebody that can not trust, themselves can not be trusted.
    Ah yes, if you’re thinking like a westerner. The Thais are way more subtle.

    A Thai wife in a western country who has zero interest in playing the field can nevertheless convince herself that the husband who’s out of town for work is being continually battered by the assaults of flat-bellied, firm-breasted, glossy-haired young women who are inexplicably fascinated by paunchy unremarkable men long past their prime.
    Explain that ...

  7. #257
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    I hope with medication and treatment, she gets better soon.
    Absolutely

    I'm afraid a diagnosis could take some time.

    Complicated stuff especially if the patient isn't cooperating.

    Just speculating, but from my experience the in and out of hospital isn't always a good idea.

    Take care of yourself and the kids.

  8. #258
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    Just speculating, but from my experience the in and out of hospital isn't always a good idea.
    Washing the inside of a house with a house, throwing away belongings and waking kids at all hours to take magical medicine from the King of Scotland allowed unchecked is also not a good idea.

    @BLD; has your neighbor suggested the trip to Laos should be back on (yet)?

  9. #259
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    ^
    I think helge was inferring that it's better to keep them in the hospital, than to quickly release them.

    I could be wrong though, because it is helge.

  10. #260
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Nah
    You are right

  11. #261
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    BLD if she does not start to signs of normalcy you may have to think about something that is not so nice. Because of the effect on you, the boys and it seems your bankbook you may want to look into involuntary commitment. I know this sounds harsh but it may be the only way to get her started on the road to mental recovery.

  12. #262
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    She became increasingly erratic as the day went on and once more the ambulance accompanied by police arrived and once more they didnt take her. Bizarrely she even told them she was pregnant. I resigned myself to a night on the sofa. Tried to slip her the medicine via a cup of tea but she only had a few sips. This morning i was awoken by the whirring of the vaccum and SHE asked to be taken to the hospital. This time i took her to sir charlie gardeners hospital we arrived about 6.00 not sure what there take on it is yet. She took her pyjamas and coconut juice so im hoping she knows theres a problem. The kids slept together with the door locked. I was hoping to at least get through to her birthday ( tomorrow) but being at home is making her worse.

  13. #263
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    @bld - your family was relatively hi-so in Laos (IMO). She was married to a farang who earned well, she/you guys had a nice house w/ pool, the kids studied in an international school, you took international trips every so often, you ate well, etc. I don't know her socio-economic status prior to marriage, but in Laos, she was a big fish in a small pond.

    Then you guys tranaferred to Oz and became an ordinary middle class(?) family there. She wasn't "special" anymore - small fish in a big pond. That's a lot of adjustment, aside from the cultural/ language differences. I think she was overwhelmed with all the changes (and covid didn't help).

    I hope with medication and treatment, she gets better soon. I also hope she gets ok enough for a trip back to Laos. Being in her homeland/ family might do wonders for her. All the best.
    Thats what a few of her friends said . Went from.hiso to loso living with fatso

  14. #264
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    Fuck, I feel for you mate, I would be lost in your situation. Just hope it all works out for the best in the end.

    I think that despite a few shortfalls, Australia has a great health system. Take full advantage.

  15. #265
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iceman123 View Post
    Fuck, I feel for you mate, I would be lost in your situation. Just hope it all works out for the best in the end.

    I think that despite a few shortfalls, Australia has a great health system. Take full advantage.
    Looks like he's trying to, but being met with major shortfalls and suspicion.

    I echo your other sentiments, of course.

  16. #266
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    The kids slept together with the door locked. I was hoping to at least get through to her birthday ( tomorrow) but being at home is making her worse.
    Heart wrenching mate.
    But yeah she needs trained professional help.
    Best wishes to you all

  17. #267
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    A very difficult situation that may need a life changing move to remedy.

    My suggestion would be, and when she is stable, is to tell her you have decided to move the family back to Laos ASAP and see what her reaction is.

    If her response is positive you know she could be play acting, and as a bizarre ploy, to go back home.

    I have no idea about whether you are in a position to arrange this move but it seems other more conventional attempts to solve your problem is failing.

    I really feel sorry for you and the boys but something has to be done.

  18. #268
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    but it seems other more conventional attempts to solve your problem is failing.
    They aren't failing , they aren't being applied. When my ex spun out she was involuntarily sectioned and kept until the meds and Psycs had dome their job. Took about 2 months but its never recurred thankfully. Strikes me the professionals need to bite the bullet and take the next step as this is all probably doing her more harm than if she was taken in involuntarily and its certainly just harming the kids and you more every day.

  19. #269
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    Ive just called her and she seemed calm apparently she was transferred to graylands hospital last night, which is a mental health facility , they said she will see specialists this morning so i will visit after that, she asked me to bring the kids but im not sure that i want them to see her like that.

  20. #270
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    she asked me to bring the kids but im not sure that i want them to see her like that.
    At this point I'd be more interest in the Docs opinion about who to bring, instead of hers.

  21. #271
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    i dunno
    first as others have said, you have my deepest sympathies and i hope the rest will get her back on track
    i'd consider taking the kids to see her, or at least the elder one if you have a sitter. at lest they would better understand what is going on/ what they have to contribute/ expect etc.

    but agree with Willy, check with the doctors first

    its a shite state of affairs BLD, i wish you well
    we won it at wemberlee
    we on it in gay paree...

  22. #272
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    Today finally theres some light at the end of the tunnel. I called her this morning and she said she was transferred to another hospital during the night but didnt know where. I rang the hospital i took her to and they said she was in graylands which is a mental health hospital only. Got to speak to her doctor who said she is calm but clearly delusional and she will be there for 2 weeks and there will be home visit follow ups . He said she would definately be medicated this time and told me that this used to be called a nervous breakdown but is indeed a phsychotic episode and is completely curable shes in a room.by herself own toilet the doors to hee ward are locked and i had to see her in a small waiting room . Its a pretty eerie place but i think she will get the help she needs here. She told me not to worry and get home to finish the painting . I dont think i will take the kids here. We will get them to messenger her on video every night. Sad she has to be here for her birthday , but im pretty relieved that i dont have to hide the knifes and sleep with 1 eye open for a couple of weeks

  23. #273
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    Got to speak to her doctor who said she is calm but clearly delusional and she will be there for 2 weeks and there will be home visit follow ups . He said she would definately be medicated this time and told me that this used to be called a nervous breakdown but is indeed a phsychotic episode and is completely curable
    At last, a real shame for her, you and the lttluns it took them so long to make this decision. I wouldn't hold them to the 2 weeks as they haven't really begun treatment but fingers crossed.

  24. #274
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    Sounds like a relief mate

  25. #275
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    @bld - wish you & your family the best. I've met you & Mrs BLD - she seemed like a very nice lady.

    Also, I've noticed something in your recent pics (from Oz). I noticed that Mrs BLD gained a lil weight. I'm not fat shaming her (or anybody), but usually when a woman gains weight, she's either stressed (and does stress-eating or too busy, no time to exercise) or she stopped caring for herself/ how ahe looked like. This is from personal experience (and from friends). It could also be biological/ hormones/ hypothyroidism, etc (but it's not the case here).

    I remember prior to your move to Oz, she was on this fitness regimen - she was exercising regularly, she joined marathons, lost the pregnancy weight, etc. And then from your recent pics (the one where I remarked that your eldest was so tall already - he had long hair), she looked a bit chubbier. IMO, her problems (mental/ physical) have been brewing for several months now. Again, covid didn't help. Food for thought...

    I hope her treatment goes well.

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