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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Young Chinese men are too fat and wank too much

    Young Chinese men are 'too fat and masturbate too much' to join army, state media says

    The Chinese army have come up with a bizarre reason as to why more and more young men are failing to pass their fitness examinations.

    According to the state run military newspaper People's Liberation Army Daily, the failure rates among young people has becoming alarmingly high.

    The situation has reportedly become so bad that more than half of the applicants in one Chinese city, around 57 per cent, failed the physical exam and were rejected.

    The Chinese authorities have reacted strongly to this apparently rapid decline, with Forces reporting that military chiefs have been failing to find recruits in recent years.

    This latest set back has lead them to blame poor diets, lack or exercise and bad sleeping habits.

    They also managed to blame masturbation for the problem, which they claim has resulted in candidates developing abnormalities in testicular veins.

    Some psychologists say that regular masturbation is actually a good thing.

    The army claimed that 8 per cent of their male candidates suffered from the aforementioned problem, which they linked to too much sitting down.

    The Evening Standard quote them as saying:

    "This is related to sitting too long on computer games, excessive masturbation and too little physical activity".

    Video games and self pleasure weren't the only unusual problems that they highlighted.

    Officials blamed smart phones, tablets and other electronic gadgets for bad eye sight, which was reported in 46 per cent of potential prospects.

    Fizzy drink and unclean water were attributed to the damage of some candidates' livers and gallbladders.

    The military also blamed tattoos in the report, but don't expand on why they are an issue.

    The original report was shared on China's messenger app, WeChat, but quickly attracted ridicule as some believed it was nothing more than a recruitment tactic.

    It was then followed up with a new, slightly more positive statement, where they pointed out that America had actually turned down 80 per cent of their applicants in 2014.

    China has actually relaxed its standards for recruits in recent years, in order to attract more people from less typical backgrounds.

    This included lowering the height and eyesight requirements.

    Major General Zhu Chenghu is quoted as saying:

    "The general quality of young recruits has actually improved over the years, with many college students holding degrees in engineering and international relation. A strong body is still very important for a soldier, but education is now more valuable than ever in building a strong, modern military.".

    https://www.indy100.com/article/youn...l-test-7913126

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    It's always the leadership...





    Will the sleeping dragon awaken?



    Still, how else are they to stand up to the US in this geopolitical sumo dojo?


  3. #3
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Some psychologists say that regular masturbation is actually a good thing.
    yes - all women should do it and send me videos

  4. #4
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    chassamui's Avatar
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    According to Wiki (sorry) China officially still has conscription, although it is never enforced due to the high population and a steady stream of volunteers.
    Last time I checked it was the largest single employer in the world, followed by the Indian Railways and the UK NHS.

  5. #5
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    and this is news how ?

  6. #6
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Damn fat wanking Chinks.

  7. #7
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Officials blamed smart phones, tablets and other electronic gadgets for bad eye sight
    No, that's the result of excessive masturbation, as Victorian scientists asserted and proven once again now.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
    Gazza's Avatar
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    Phew!! I thought the op was about me until I remembered that I'm not young, Chinese nor fat.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui View Post
    Last time I checked [the PLA] was the largest single employer in the world, followed by the Indian Railways and the UK NHS.
    ...but nowhere near as dangerous.

  10. #10
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    Wilsonandson's Avatar
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    Funny


  11. #11
    I am in Jail

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    Cancelled ~

  12. #12
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    so they haven't heard of bromide. it was standard practice to add it to the tea in my day.... after 60 yrs its just started to work. didn't get too many fat fuckers either, not much chance of that on war rashions.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Damn fat wanking Chinks.
    Wanking is good. It burns some calories. They'll prolly get fatter if they quit wanking.

  14. #14
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    The "Little Emperor" syndrome of males raised as an only child and by overly attentive parents is a serious problem in China. Kind of line the mommies special little boy syndrome in Thailand. Both produce 30 year old losers with the emotional maturity of a Western 10 year old.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roadrunner12
    The NK leader is a fat wanking poof so these kids are just following the examples.
    Yeah the Chinese follow NK...

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stroller View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Officials blamed smart phones, tablets and other electronic gadgets for bad eye sight
    No, that's the result of excessive masturbation, as Victorian scientists asserted and proven once again now.
    I remember once my dad came in the bedroom and said "Son, if you don't stop wanking, you'll go blind".

    I said "Dad, I'm over here".

    rat-a-tat-*ching*

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobR View Post
    The "Little Emperor" syndrome of males raised as an only child and by overly attentive parents is a serious problem in China. Kind of line the mommies special little boy syndrome in Thailand. Both produce 30 year old losers with the emotional maturity of a Western 10 year old.
    My Chinese girlfriend tells me that it is considered desirable to have a fat baby, it is a prosperous baby. As all her children are tall and skinny and she is very rich, I took it to be a sign of her stinginess.

    The Chinese pierce their little boys ears and make them wear earrings, so if evil spirits happen to see them they will mistake them for girls, and will not take the trouble to carry them away as girls are inferior. For the same reason they dress their little boys in two small pigtails, plaited very tightly on both sides of their head, presenting the appearance of two little horns—the fashion of little girls.

    I also checked her sons for earrings and plaits, none there. So she was willing to have them whisked away and probably me too!!!!

    Amazing what insights you can get, and I thought she was a nice lady!!!

  18. #18
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    ^ May have something to do with the "Great" Chinese Famine that killed 50 million people between 1958 and 1961.

    The Great Chinese Famine

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